Splendid Game Old Chaps, But

[OldBean 10]

I wish to offer BIS my sincerest thanks for the creation and release of this next chapter in its most esteemed line of war simulations.

Especially, I would like to congratulate you on your decision to stand strong against the politically correct liberal chattering classes and their namby pamby notions of gender inclusion! Times have since changed you ignorant buffoons! Im profoundly sorry my dear ladies and gentleman, but I must express my censure on the matter.

Prior to the game's release, I was enthusiastically reading information posted on various gaming sites, eagerly devouring any new scraps of information forthcoming. It was during my endless searchings for new information that I came across this charming forum that up until now, ive chosen to remain anonymous on, choosing instead to foolishly you may think perhaps, in stealth mode, collect the intel like an SAS soldier, and disappear without saying a single word. Although im afraid I was to become slightly angered, when, YET AGAIN, I learned that the possibility of playing as anything other than an American marine in the campaign would be unlikely. Clearly, allies on the battlefield wouldnt play a role in an American led war of this magnitude according to BIS! I admit, I did vomit when I became aware of this bullshit. The British army would not be along side the americans in a war of this size BIS? Nevermind, I shall't let this deter me from purchasing, as of course, this wonderful, and VERY talented community can ammend such major flaws!

Anyway, I digress. I must also commend your bravery in not only excluding the British from this game, but also for choosing those G-dless commie Russians and their pinko insurrectionist allies and even from the rag-tag volunteer guerrilla forces! I should think you would give the Americans a challenging foe, but instead you give them the russians for whom's military technology has hardly advanced at all!

When I read that your wonderfully comprehensive level editor would allow people to play as cows, however, I was momentarily vexed. If playing as a cad-chewing, dull-eyed bovine is what BIS thought their fans would enjoy, then im afraid I am concerned. What Happened? did the Producer sit his army of creators down around the conference table and eventually decide that playing a chicken would much rather be prefered by the fanbase than playing as a member of the British armed forces? Im quite frankly appalled, and horrified at this decision as with everyone else here who would obviously agree with me. I feel again, like im about to vomit... Surely there was atleast one member of the Armed Assault 2 creation team whom thought yes! some sort of British combatant should be included in the package!

Anyway I feel ive rambled for too long, but atleast its a very informative ramble! Something for the team to read and learn from, hopefully it will make them ponder over some of their regrettable, and damn right foolish, and offensive decisions.

Right what do I think of the game? Well, after purchasing my very own copy of the game my very first action was to check the wonderful editor that had provided me with endless entertainment in the previous games. I must admit, I was curious to see how much woman would play a role in this game, and, to my bitterly dissapointing discovery, it appeared the only playable women would be hapless unarmed civilians! Not only that, but BIS had thoughtfully limited even those choices! With awestruck admiration for BIS' innovation, I noted that among these choices were: Damsel, Madame and Housewife! At last, one might live out one's fantasy of the world as G-d intended. Not even a broad-bottomed policewoman to be seen, and even getting their chubby derriers into a vehicle requires tweaking aplenty. Something I've always admired about Saudi Wahabiism.

And yes, I did note the availability of a 'priest' civilian for the men, but not for the women! Ha ha! Take that, Boston Diocese!

Inevitably of course, as mentioned above, I'm sure there will be mods and skins a-plenty to sully the purity of this title. What individuals choose to do is up to them, of course, and at least BIS was not cowed by any alleged market forces.

Yours faithfully,

Oliver

p.s Yes I am indeed English old chaps! Just in case you want to know why the message is so beautifully, and intelligently well conveyed. :D

Cheerio!

[Mr. Charles 22]

1.) Get OA retail

2.) Preorder BAF/PMC offer for 10 pounds(or so?)

3.) Wait for 30th

4.) Play as a jolly ol' chap from england

5.) ????

6.) Profit!

@OP: tl:dr

[Steakslim 1]

...so...you wrote all of this because you think the british should be in the game? See the BAF dlc if you want some of that. It takes time and money to create a whole new faction of troops and BIS has been at it with American and Russian models for some time now so it's no surprise that was their first selection for ArmA2. They've been slowly squeezing in Czech, German, British, and probably more in the future. While you wait there is an enormous addon community that may have what you are looking for.

[MrAgentGuy 10]

Wonderful post! Its nice to see a thread that shows true beauty of the English language! It makes for a far more entertaining read than the usual!

Its a shame with each generation, less and less people can construct a post like this!

/on topic

Indeed, as has been said above, there will be British DLC available soon old boy! Not long until its actually released I might add! Im refering to Arma 2: Private Military Company, i recommend this, it seems like its just what you are looking for!

Edited November 20, 2010 by MrAgentGuy

[Devil Dogs SF 13]

There are already British forces in the game.

[2nd ranger 282]

p.s Yes I am indeed English old chaps! Just in case you want to know why the message is so beautifully, and intelligently well conveyed. :D

Cheerio!

Wonderful post! Its nice to see a thread that shows true beauty of the English language! It makes for a far more entertaining read than the usual!

Perhaps, however, the 'English Gentleman' gimmick would have been a tad more successful and effective had the whole thing not been riddled with spelling and grammar errors.

[max power 21]

*sigh*

The Russians aren't the enemies in the campaign. The Russians deployed to Chernarus because they thought that Chernorussian nationalists bombed Moscow. The Russians play the role of the OPFOR in certain single and multiplayer scenarios because they serve to create some kind of force symmetry with the US Marines. Playing warfare Marines vs. Chedaki would be highly frustrating for the players on the Chedaki side. As it stands in OA, a rare breed of player will play the Takistani OPFOR. Most players gravitate to the more technologically advanced BLUEFOR factions.

[mosh 0]

did the Producer sit his army of creators down around the conference table and eventually decide that playing a chicken would much rather be prefered by the fanbase than playing as a member of the British armed forces?

I would have much rather preferred the 'Farm Animal' DLC over BAF.

[royaltyinexile 175]

I wish to offer BIS my sincerest thanks for the creation and release of this next chapter in its most esteemed line of war simulations.

On behalf of BIS, I most graciously accept your sincere platitudes and salutations.

Indeed, a gentleman's censure is, of course, always welcomed; yet, prithee, I must sour the pot, for you, sir, are nought but a common knave, sir. Furthermore, your peers, your country, forsooth, indeed, your very Queen, sir, are shamed, sir. Shamed most verily.

Pray, steady thyself but momentarily, and forgive me the opportunity to elucidate the unhappy circumstances of your most fitful fall from grace.

Her Majesty's armed forces most welcomly joined the battlefield just this very summer past. Indeed, I myself indulged in a cheeky gin to mark the occasion. Their guile, their bravery (their lack of Challenger tanks aside) was a formidable addition to the coalition presence in the volatile Green Sea Region.

Moreover, it is for our divine leader alone (Marek) alone to judge the veracity of the opposing force. Never rag-tag, rarely without bottom, the Russians are a most pressing concern across South Zagoria. Indeed, they are a force to be truly reckoned with, for the intelligent Commander or mod-maker alike.

I sir, cannot help but find myself staggered, sir, and your outrageous bovineophobia. Nay, nay, sir, whist thyself but for a moment longer, sir, for the simple cow is a noble beast and, before David Armstrong himself, I declare that its ambient presence offers but a glimmer of the truest and most still light - across any land-mined battlefield.

I cannot but steady myself to the resolve that, sir, you are not, in fact, English, sir. No. You are little more than a benighted Saxon, born of the most base stock and condemned to nought but a life of sorrow - t'would verily appear it.

Yet, no man is without redemption, of course! And I would be no gentleman, should I not take pains to remedy your most frightful situation. Noblesse oblige, after all.

Sally forth, my brother, and purchase Arma 2: Operation Arrowhead. Forthsooth! It is even standalone. Marvel at the wonder of the landscape - the very mysteries of Takistani culture. Invest thyself in BAF, or, verily, pre-order thyself the most divine PMC/BAF package, and avail thyself of thine miseries; thine callousness, thine hate.

Cordial Salutations,

RiE.

Edited November 20, 2010 by RoyaltyinExile

[Mr. Charles 22]

@RoyaltyInExile:

Wiser thou haventh spoken! Behold the might of Bohemian sagacity!

[mosh 0]

@RoyaltyInExile:

:notworthy:

Well said!

[EricM 0]

Priceless...

[froggyluv 2136]

Wow, this speak....I've decided to give up my life as a Thug and go proper.

Can I get some biscuits homies!

[jw custom 56]

On behalf of BIS, I most graciously accept your sincere platitudes and salutations.

Indeed, a gentleman's censure is, of course, always welcomed; yet, prithee, I must sour the pot, for you, sir, are nought but a common knave, sir. Furthermore, your peers, your country, forsooth, indeed, your very Queen, sir, are shamed, sir. Shamed most verily.

Pray, steady thyself but momentarily, and forgive me the opportunity to elucidate the unhappy circumstances of your most fitful fall from grace.

Her Majesty's armed forces most welcomly joined the battlefield just this very summer past. Indeed, I myself indulged in a cheeky gin to mark the occasion. Their guile, their bravery (their lack of Challenger tanks aside) was a formidable addition to the coalition presence in the volatile Green Sea Region.

Moreover, it is for our divine leader alone (Marek) alone to judge the veracity of the opposing force. Never rag-tag, rarely without bottom, the Russians are a most pressing concern across South Zagoria. Indeed, they are a force to be truly reckoned with, for the intelligent Commander or mod-maker alike.

I sir, cannot help but find myself staggered, sir, and your outrageous bovineophobia. Nay, nay, sir, whist thyself but for a moment longer, sir, for the simple cow is a noble beast and, before David Armstrong himself, I declare that its ambient presence offers but a glimmer of the truest and most still light - across any land-mined battlefield.

I cannot but steady myself to the resolve that, sir, you are not, in fact, English, sir. No. You are little more than a benighted Saxon, born of the most base stock and condemned to nought but a life of sorrow - t'would verily appear it.

Yet, no man is without redemption, of course! And I would be no gentleman, should I not take pains to remedy your most frightful situation. Noblesse oblige, after all.

Sally forth, my brother, and purchase Arma 2: Operation Arrowhead. Forthsooth! It is even standalone. Marvel at the wonder of the landscape - the very mysteries of Takistani culture. Invest thyself in BAF, or, verily, pre-order thyself the most divine PMC/BAF package, and avail thyself of thine miseries; thine callousness, thine hate.

Cordial Salutations,

RiE.

Haha :p

[mrcash2009 0]

2010 Official Response:

Dunno wot' dis snobby shits about, it aint an old film!? Get BAF mate ennit, iss wikid blad, wont cost a monkey, sort it geeza, nah meen, sweet, peace.

Edited November 20, 2010 by mrcash2009

[katipo66 94]

Well that explains it, maybe the gents at BIS HQ need a few shots of vodka instead of tea to help with judging the veracity of the opposing force :D

[Smurf 12]

lol

Where else could you see a scene like this?

[OldBean 10]

On behalf of BIS, I most graciously accept your sincere platitudes and salutations.

Indeed, a gentleman's censure is, of course, always welcomed; yet, prithee, I must sour the pot, for you, sir, are nought but a common knave, sir. Furthermore, your peers, your country, forsooth, indeed, your very Queen, sir, are shamed, sir. Shamed most verily.

Pray, steady thyself but momentarily, and forgive me the opportunity to elucidate the unhappy circumstances of your most fitful fall from grace.

Her Majesty's armed forces most welcomly joined the battlefield just this very summer past. Indeed, I myself indulged in a cheeky gin to mark the occasion. Their guile, their bravery (their lack of Challenger tanks aside) was a formidable addition to the coalition presence in the volatile Green Sea Region.

Moreover, it is for our divine leader alone (Marek) alone to judge the veracity of the opposing force. Never rag-tag, rarely without bottom, the Russians are a most pressing concern across South Zagoria. Indeed, they are a force to be truly reckoned with, for the intelligent Commander or mod-maker alike.

I sir, cannot help but find myself staggered, sir, and your outrageous bovineophobia. Nay, nay, sir, whist thyself but for a moment longer, sir, for the simple cow is a noble beast and, before David Armstrong himself, I declare that its ambient presence offers but a glimmer of the truest and most still light - across any land-mined battlefield.

I cannot but steady myself to the resolve that, sir, you are not, in fact, English, sir. No. You are little more than a benighted Saxon, born of the most base stock and condemned to nought but a life of sorrow - t'would verily appear it.

Yet, no man is without redemption, of course! And I would be no gentleman, should I not take pains to remedy your most frightful situation. Noblesse oblige, after all.

Sally forth, my brother, and purchase Arma 2: Operation Arrowhead. Forthsooth! It is even standalone. Marvel at the wonder of the landscape - the very mysteries of Takistani culture. Invest thyself in BAF, or, verily, pre-order thyself the most divine PMC/BAF package, and avail thyself of thine miseries; thine callousness, thine hate.

Cordial Salutations,

RiE.

RoyaltyinExile, first of all I must returns ones favour as I accept also, your sincere platitudes and salutations, but on this occasion I find myself conversing not with a gentleman, but with an inferior man for which jealously he clearly shows. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. You occupy a country in which the pot is sour always, for the history of czech republic clearly states, read it I advise. Your insults are ineffective as thou appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. It is you sir, you for whom shame knows no bounds. Delude yourself no further, soul search you must, and you will see you are the knave, your country breeds them! Were I like thee I'd throw away myself.

I hear from you finally good news RoyaltyinExile! Her Majesty’s armed forces have joined the fray. You bring this news with a contradictory statement, as you say that in fact you welcome them, you state the obvious guile and bravery of the British, and you even celebrated to mark the occasion, although my description of you cannot change, especially as you informed us on your choice of tipple, this only backs up the truth of you of what I did previously state.

No Sir it is me who finds myself staggered, as I stand here confronted by a man for whom willingly defends such beast as a cow, although I can’t really blame you as you probably married aplenty. It is clear to me and others that you people of BIS, animals, you’re clearly fond of, but this isn’t really truthful is it, as you yet again contradict yourself with your true intention of the animal, something to do with a landmine battlefield. Your Bovineophobia is something the cow should fear, as I don’t wish to present them with a minefield for which the cows must cross. How can you live with yourself thou spleeny sheep-biting giglet!

Sir, I would be no Gentleman if I did not take great pains to end your most frightful existence, after all you are beyond redemption now.

Sally forth, my foe and purchase luck, because you’re going to need it where you’re going! And when its over and your existence is now gone, then, and only then can avail thyself of thine miseries; thine callousness, thine hate! ;)

---------- Post added at 01:39 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:23 AM ----------

...

I love you really RoyaltyinExile! :D

@everyone Thank you for notifying me of the British DLC! :)

Edited November 21, 2010 by OldBean

[jw custom 56]

So wheres the button to turn you off?

[OldBean 10]

So wheres the button to turn you off?

Well its not the button you pressed to turn me on! :inlove:

lol :D

[Antigoon 10]

thou appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.

a man for whom willingly defends such beast as a cow, although I can’t really blame you as you probably married aplenty.

How can you live with yourself thou spleeny sheep-biting giglet!

I love you really RoyaltyinExile! :D

I can see the humour in this, but you do realise you went quite a bit further with this than RiE, don't you think..? If it wasn't for that last comment...:rolleyes:

But I'm not English, so what do I know......:biggrin:

[polecat.uk 11]

Slap him with your glove

[TechnoTerrorist303 10]

OldBean. I find your lamentable misuse of the Queen's English abhorrent. I believe that there is only one way that gentlemen can settle a matter such as this, honour must be satisfied and I therefore challenge you to a duel.

[max power 21]

I can see the humour in this, but you do realise you went quite a bit further with this than RiE, don't you think..? If it wasn't for that last comment...:rolleyes:

But I'm not English, so what do I know......:biggrin:

I don't believe a gentleman would say such things in any language.

[Carl_D 10]

On behalf of BIS, I most graciously accept your sincere platitudes and salutations.

Erudite, elegant, apposite; and the funniest thing I've read in weeks :pc:

Ought to be a sticky!

Carl