How to get over the fear of talking?

[Psychotic_OZ 0]

Hey ever since I was diagnosed with GAD a few years ago I find it really hard to get over the fear of talking via voice with online games. I started playing arma 3 again last night and was playing some rpg server then someone approached me and starting talking then my heart started to race so fast I had to alt + f4 to get out of the game. idk whats wrong :(

[beno_83au 1369]

Just talk. I used to fear talking infront of people more than anything (but saw no problem in jumping out of perfectly good aircraft) and i couldn't even point at a board with a laser marker i was shaking so hard. Plus all the other anxiety that came before it. But, i was forced to do it, and i got real fucking good at engaging large groups of people. 

 

So if you just give it a go, while you'll probably blow it the first few times and feel like an idiot, it might go towards helping you deal with that fear eventually. I bet most reasonable people would rather hear what you have to say than half the morons out there with microphones anyway.

[Harzach 2518]

Do you have any friends you can play with? Or even just some friends you can hang out with on Teamspeak/Discord/whatever? Maybe that would be positive step toward conditioning yourself to the experience of talking to people online. I'm no doctor, I don't know the particulars of your condition, and maybe you've tried this already, but it's what comes to mind. Good luck!

[Belbo 462]

And, most importantly: Don't ever take health advice from an internet forum.

 

No offense, Gunter, but there's a reason there are are healthcare professionals. GAD is not something that can be easily treated by eating supplements and doing stuff. That's an easy solution to a very complex problem that can't be grasped from less than two lines of text.

[Macser 776]

I know a couple of people with a similar aversion to talking in a game setting. Maybe not that pronounced. But it's still not uncommon.

 

One thing that helped was getting to know a few people rather than jumping into a situation with complete strangers. As has been suggested. Of course there could be some other biological factors at play. But I think your own personal outlook has a lot to do with it too. You don't mind posting here. So that's a start. If you can at least communicate with people you can make connections. Out of all the situations you could try, it's probably the least uncomfortable. You can bail out when ever you feel like it.

 

In fact it might be better to avoid the situation altogether until you do make a few acquaintances. Part of the fear might stem from the unpredictability of it. 

 

Maybe get the thread moved to "offtopic". And good luck to you.

[FallujahMedic -FM- 867]

Hi Psychotic_OZ, 

Welcome to the Bohemia Interactive Arma 3 Forums. I will move this topic to the "Off-Topic" section, but please feel free to continue. 

A few suggestions I can give are, join a (mature) discord / group in which you know nothing about the subject. Then listen in. When you feel comfortable, state that you know nothing about the subject, but would like to know more. This way you are able to ease your way into the conversation at your own pace without being expected to speak a lot and without being under pressure.  Crawl before you walk so to speak.  

[haleks 8212]

14 hours ago, Harzach said:

Do you have any friends you can play with? Or even just some friends you can hang out with on Teamspeak/Discord/whatever? Maybe that would be positive step toward conditioning yourself to the experience of talking to people online. I'm no doctor, I don't know the particulars of your condition, and maybe you've tried this already, but it's what comes to mind. Good luck!

 ^ this.

 

If you can play online with a close friend, or someone you know IRL, you will hopefully feel more relaxed. Let him engage conversations with strangers, it would be easier to take part in it knowing that someone is there to back you up or simply do most of the talking.

Take your time, get used to speaking ingame with your friend(s) first.

 

Playing alone in some games can be kind of stressfull (GAD or not) : back in the Dayz mod days, I was much more courageous (and dumber too) whenever I would play with my friend - it was another story when I would end up alone on a server (more like hiding in the woods and eating mushrooms)!

[Gunter Severloh 4068]

4 hours ago, Belbo said:

No offense, Gunter, but there's a reason there are are healthcare professionals. GAD is not something that can be easily treated by eating supplements and doing stuff.

Really?

And Julia Ross who is the pioneer in the field isn't a health care professional?

 

Try not to take medical terms so seriously because when you have an ailment, and you know nothing, and you go run to the nearest doctor, if he/she had any inclination

they should be asking you whats going on in your life, what are you doing, what are you eating, are you getting enough sleep, are you taking any drugs, what kind of stress do you have in your life, job, relationships,

do you drink  any caffeinated beverages, do you exercise, do you get outside and or talk with people, how long have you had this "condition" what do you eat/ drink prior to feeling these "symptoms"

etc,.,.

 

GAD is a simple term for anxiety, heres all the definitions and descriptions you need about GAD:

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1&ei=5OQLW9CrDpHezwLe5bpg&q=GAD+&oq=GAD+&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0i67k1j0l5j0i10k1j0l2j0i67k1.24861.24861.0.25974.1.1.0.0.0.0.136.136.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.1.135....0.OucLOGV5oUo

 

Heres a link to links that not only explain what "GAD" is but what other doctors have done to cure it using amino acids.

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1&ei=JeILW524NImizwKqrJXIDg&q=GAD+and+amino+acids&oq=GAD+and+amino+acids&gs_l=psy-ab.3...33324.36957.0.37282.16.16.0.0.0.0.253.1140.0j7j1.8.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..8.8.1134...0j0i67k1j0i22i30k1j0i22i10i30k1j33i160k1.0.vAwBw6CfJTM

 

Like i said hes low in Serotonin which requires the amino acid L tryptophan and GABA, those are the start.

Did i not say do that thing you fear the most and you will get over it, you will surpass it, am i not the only here who basically has said the same.

 

[Grumpy Old Man 3546]

4 hours ago, Gunter Severloh said:

Really?

And Julia Ross who is the pioneer in the field isn't a health care professional?

Are you Julia Ross? That'd explain the long hair then.

 

4 hours ago, Gunter Severloh said:

do you drink  any caffeinated beverages

Ah well, now you got me worried...

Spoiler

 

Cheers

[Gunter Severloh 4068]

34 minutes ago, Grumpy Old Man said:

Are you Julia Ross? That'd explain the long hair then.

Whats your problem, did i attack you?

Did i attack anyone in this thread?

 

I post some information and I get shit for it, thanks, i can see where im not welcome.

[Grumpy Old Man 3546]

8 minutes ago, Gunter Severloh said:

Whats your problem, did i attack you?

Did i attack anyone in this thread?

 

I post some information and I get shit for it, thanks, i can see where im not welcome.

I was just kidding, in case the dancing banana didn't give it away, meant no offense.

 

Cheers

[Belbo 462]

GAD is a very simple term for a very complex diagnosis which always comes with a whole group of secondary diagnosises, resulting from very different predispositions or neurological and psychological developments, needing very different treatments. The 'easy' solution - just raise your L tryptophan - might be right for some cases, but it's utterly irresponsible to suggest that without any proper anamnesis.

 

No professional would do that - and that's why they're there. If Julia Ross promotes these simple solutions, she's a crook and should under any circumstances be mistrusted. But I won't stoop so low and directly jump to that conclusion.

I just find it highly irresponsible to recommend a treatment, if no information has been given at all - and that especially when your knowledge about possible treatments comes just from a person who sells not just her books but also the nutriments she considers detrimental to her proposed miracle cure.

 

Neither take nor give health advice in internet forums.

[Gunter Severloh 4068]

I'm not going to say anymore other then the research is there, and i wouldn't suggest one thing as the cure all obviously theres more to it.

None the less I wish the OP the best. Cheers.

[haleks 8212]

Guys, @Psychotic_OZ already told us he's been diagnosed. I think it's safe to assume he's already being treated, or at least followed by a doctor.

 

Now, can we focus on the topic at hand, wich is advices about social interactions in video games? ;)

[mr burns 132]

I´ve never been diagnosed with anything, but what´s ultimately helped me over the fact of shying away was Balshoiw (iirc) telling me to "use my voice" during an OFP community night, english anxiety and all included.

 

It´s the internets, you can do it :)

 

 

 

[spookygnu 563]

I myself have a condition called BPD. This for me has been a struggle for almost forty years. Along with this comes anxiety and depression. I've found it hard on so.e occasions to speak online, but I'm fortunate to be a little more confident with talking to strangers. 

 

There have been times I've joined groups and sat silent because of a fear I'd say the wrong thing or offend anyone, but one thing I learnt to do was take a deep breath and count. It's a feeling like standing on the edge of a cold swimming pool in winter. You know it's cold, you know it's gunna be a shock, but when you take that leap of faith the release from all that anxiety goes awayvin a matter of seconds after you realise you achieved a step forward. 

 

One thing humans have is a fight or flight response to anything they don't know about. Unfortunately for the OP it's slightly more stronger than the average Joe. 

 

Baby steps is a good way to look at it, crawl, walk, run as was mentioned by Fallujah medic. Get over that threshold slowly and you be painting the room red in no time as your confidence gets better and relationships are built. 

 

I will add though, I know humour is a good way to lighten the mood a denote it by emojis etc, but mental health is not really a laughing matter and online in this capacity it's hard to see which way things are taken. Please to all users try to have some respect for those afflicted or those giving support. You never know what affect your words have on a person with a mental illness. Triggers are prevalent and always will be.

[POLPOX 779]

 Again, I am sorry to hear about you. I don't want to end your life in this community, so here are some my opinions. But you should talk with your doctor since I am not a doctor!

• Can you speak with your trusted friends? If so, try to hang out with them.
• You have a chance to play a game with no need to talk.
• You can mute any VON(Voice Over Network) from the menu.

[pooroldspike 129]

Why speak online anyway?

I've put in over 3000 hours on the King of the Hill servers and although I've got a mic I've never plugged it in, I just get on with concentrating on playing instead of yapping..

Anyway if I've got something important to say, I can simply type it in if I have to, for example if my tank gunner is swinging the gun in all directions like a crackhead as we move, I type in "WATCH YOUR FRIGGIN FRONT!"

 

Likewise if I'm transporting paratroops in a heli and they're slow to jump as we arrive at the objective and flak is coming up, I type-

"JUMP YOU NUMBNUTS!"

[dmarkwick 261]

As has already been discussed here, an extreme fear of public speaking can be best sorted out by initially visiting a doctor. He/she will refer you to a behavioral therapist or hypnotist.

 

Other than that, if you wish to gradually increase your exposure to public speaking you can start by only speaking when you have some game-related information to say. Like your current position when asked, your current status, and enemy call-outs. You can't get into any imagined trouble by just doing this, and over time you will feel more comfortable saying other stuff.