Mi5 jobs for brits

[ralphwiggum 6]

http://www.cnn.com/2004....ex.html

Quote[/b] ]LONDON, England (CNN) -- MI5, Britain's intelligence service, is expected to launch an extensive recruitment drive, aiming to grow by 50 percent to fight the increased threat of terrorism, CNN has learned.

According to a well-placed source, British Home Secretary David Blunkett will announce plans to recruit another 1,000 MI5 officers in a speech Wednesday to the House of Commons.

The announcement is set to be made in Parliament during a debate on terrorism laws introduced in Britain after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

The recruitment drive, which includes finding and training staff, will happen during the next few years -- with the aim of boosting the agency's capacity to collect, analyze and act on intelligence, and to effectively respond to intelligence received from around the world.

[Master_Chief 0]

I've done some extensive research on Britain's intelligence service and i have determined that for every 5 officers they

hire they will have to hire 1 hot secretary who never puts

out and one smart-ass old guy to show them how everything

works. They should also think of training some new villians

because the current ones are all ugly and rather bland. I

mean Bin Laden isn't going to trap you in his underwater

fortress along with your sexy KGB contact is he?

[Doc. Zaius 0]

I've done some extensive research on Britain's intelligence  service and i have determined that for every 5 officers they

hire they will have to hire 1 hot secretary who never puts

out and one smart-ass old guy to show them how everything

works. They should also think of training some new villians

because the current ones are all ugly and rather bland. I

mean Bin Laden isn't going to trap you in his underwater

fortress along with your sexy KGB contact is he?

Fake Volcano fortress > Underwater Fortress.

[Ex-RoNiN 0]

I wonder if they would take me

[Scorpio 0]

^

Ahahahah!

[SpeedyDonkey 0]

lol

[-33ker 0]

Hey, they've got to take what they get, if they want to grow by 50%... even guys like Ex-Ronin.

He'd be perfect for M's job. He already has made experiences in spoiling fun and commanding people around as a mod here.

[denoir 0]

I wonder if they would take me

According to extensive research you can only be picked if:

1) You're a Greek smuggler who on the side cooperates with MI6/5

2) You're a Greek smuggler who on the side cooperates with KGB and are generally a bad guy

3) You are a beautiful Greek woman who is looking to avenge the death of her parents

4) You're a Greek sidekick to the British agent, a good guy that ultimately gets killed by the bad guy.

Take your pick  

[Acecombat 0]

Well 3 is impossible now isnt it ? until unless ........

[Dauragon 0]

maybe they will hire Rowan Atkinson (aka Johnny English)

[Falcon Six Two 0]

Hey all you 007 wannabes! This is your chance! Even though he did work for MI6.....

[Necromancer- 0]

maybe they will hire Rowan Atkinson (aka Johnny English)  

Come to think of it...

5) You look like Rowan Atkinson

And...

6) You seem to imitate Denoir

[Balschoiw 0]

good side of the job:

- hot women

- fast cars

- funny toys

- personal suitcase helo

- unlimited credit at casino

bad sides:

- you can´t tell anyone what a dangerous and wild life you have

- martini

See you at recruitment office

[Pipski 0]

real bad side of the job: wages suck (Å19k starting iirc and with that you have to live in Central London).

lol, one of my elderly uncles worked for MI5 but he couldn't make this generally well known, so everytime he was asked what he did for a living he made something up. Trouble was, he never stuck to the same story and could never remember what he'd told people before. So they'd be somewhat surprised when he went from being an architect to a surgeon in 6 months!

[Dauragon 0]

maybe they will hire Rowan Atkinson (aka Johnny English)  

Come to think of it...

5) You look like Rowan Atkinson

And...

6) You seem to imitate Denoir

did denoir mention johnny english??

[Tigershark_BAS 0]

real bad side of the job:  wages suck (Å19k starting iirc and with that you have to live in Central London).  

lol, one of my elderly uncles worked for MI5 but he couldn't make this generally well known, so everytime he was asked what he did for a living he made something up.  Trouble was, he never stuck to the same story and could never remember what he'd told people before.  So they'd be somewhat surprised when he went from being an architect to a surgeon in 6 months!

Scary reflection on the calibre of MI5 operatives.

What lie did I tell you again....oh yes...the surgeon one...well...I was operating on this Eastern european man, whose name will remain anonymous, let's just call him A. Ratonovich...no wait....let's call him....Anton R.

Anyway.....I had just grabbed the gun...errrr....knife...and...

[somebloke 0]

You forget MI5 is intelligence within Britain, like the IRA, MI6 deals with international stuff such as Bosnian War Criminals.

[Balschoiw 0]

Quote[/b] ]MI6 deals with international stuff such as Bosnian War Criminals.

Or UN bugging

[SpeedyDonkey 0]

[ralphwiggum 6]

http://www.cnn.com/2004....ex.html

Quote[/b] ]LONDON, England (Reuters) -- James Bond, Britain's most famous fictional secret agent, would be feeling rather shaken and stirred to learn he would be too tall to be a real modern day spy in the country's domestic spy agency.

New guidelines for MI5 -- the UK's domestic intelligence service -- stipulate that Britons applying to be field agents should be no taller than 5ft 11ins (1.8 m) so they don't stand out, Britain's Sunday Telegraph reported.

That would rule out all the actors to have starred as the suave, unflappable Bond who worked for MI5's sister foreign spy agency MI6 in the 007 movies. Bond stars Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan are all 6ft (1.83m) or taller, the paper said.

"You should be able to blend into the background. Applicants would ideally be no taller than 5ft 11ins for men and 5ft 8ins (1.73 m) for women," the application form reads.

Britain is recruiting 1,000 new spies over the next few years to MI5 to bring the service's numbers up to 3,000.

But there was some good news for Bond -- the paper said his employers, MI6, had not yet imposed a height restriction.

[Cpt. FrostBite 0]

real bad side of the job:  wages suck (Å19k starting iirc and with that you have to live in Central London).  

lol, one of my elderly uncles worked for MI5 but he couldn't make this generally well known, so everytime he was asked what he did for a living he made something up.  Trouble was, he never stuck to the same story and could never remember what he'd told people before.  So they'd be somewhat surprised when he went from being an architect to a surgeon in 6 months!

Scary reflection on the calibre of MI5 operatives.

What lie did I tell you again....oh yes...the surgeon one...well...I was operating on this Eastern european man, whose name will remain anonymous, let's just call him A. Ratonovich...no wait....let's call him....Anton R.

Anyway.....I had just grabbed the gun...errrr....knife...and...

Ahahahaha, ROFL!!!

[stgn 39]

Quote[/b] ]MI6 deals with international stuff such as Bosnian War Criminals.

Or UN bugging  

Well i you are bore you can alway do the easy things.

STGN

[cozza 24]

Ohhhhhh MI5. I can put on a really good Bond voice that it just so happens to have  other stuff in it  

James bond Get up. DOWNLOAD

edit* Right click, file save as

[Rhodite 3]

I have always wondered what the "real" secret agents get paid.. I seriously hope its not 19k

Shit I know people in telesales earning more than that

[Pipski 0]

MI5 recruitment page

Here you go, it seems to have gone up a bit. (This is the starting salary for graduates and equivalent not involved in specialist areas such as e.g. electronics etc.)

Quote[/b] ]Generalists – graduate equivalent.

Our standard graduate starting salary is Å20,100. However, there is some scope for recruits to be awarded a higher starting salary (depending on the level of skills and qualities they demonstrate in the recruitment process) up to c.Å21,100.