CO/ACR Humorous Loading Tips

[][niipaa 11]

Howdy everyone, ][Niipaa and the DGN team here with another small release. Now, I understand that the "Tips" that the new DLC, Army of the Czech Republic (ACR), adds are helpful to the new influx of players.

But to some ArmA veterans, if they feel similar to us here at DGN, they are downright degrading and insulting. Or just plain annoying to see blatant fact slapped in your face from time to time. So this Addon replaces all the old tips with new ones (59 Unique Texts So Far), all of them which will hopefully provide a cheap laugh.

A formal disclaimer: We love Bohemia, and for the most part, its community. This Addon requires something you cannot download: A good sense of humor. If you don't have that, just move along and save yourself the rage. Without further ado though, the Readme.txt contents are as follows.

Readme.txt

I'll keep this brief. This is a tiny addon, that merely changes the Loading Screen "Tips" to something a bit more, humorous in my opinion. There are some naughty words, so kids shouldn't be installing, but it's not at the salty sailor level yet. Anyways, this was made in about half an hour, and it's just a little fun, random, obnoxious addon. So that instead of seeing a message whilst loading that makes you facepalm, you can just kind of laugh it off. This is all done in good fun, I love Bohemia, the community, and the game. So try and just enjoy a little humor if you can. If not, delete it. Simple and done.

This does require either the "Lite" or "Full" version of the new ACR content from BI.

Which can be found here: http://www.arma2.com/index.php?option=com_rokdownloads&view=file&Itemid=20&id=805%3Aa2co-compatibility-mp-patch--acr-lite-〈=en

It also requires Combined Operations, due to ACR requiring it.

As for installation, in this day and age, it shouldn't be necessary to say this but I will. Simply pick Version 1 or 2 signatures, depending on if you play on a Signature Checking server, if not this won't matter either way. Move the @OAMemes folder to your root ArmA 2 Operation Arrowhead folder, add -mod=@OAMemes to your launch line, and enjoy. If you have trouble, BIForums and ArmAholic have plenty of tutorials on mod installation and setup.

~Garret & The DGN Team

A Note about why the Source is included with this:

Life is far too short to bicker about who created what or where credit is due. Humanity was built upon the sharing of and learning from other's ideas. While credit is always appreciated if you decide to use any of work, you will hear no complaints nor drama from us if you don't.

Examples:

RC1 Examples:

y u no load faster arma?!

The MP5 is an excellent weapon for pillow fights.

These tips can be depressing. Do yourself a solid and grab some chocolate while you wait.

RC2 Examples:

ArmA Vehicle Speeds Explained - Q: Troll Speed. W: Unused. E: Ramming Speed.

Hesitation can get you killed, but patience can save your life.

With enough balls, you can plant a Satchel Charge on just about anything. Just ask Mr. T-90.

Downloads:

RC1 https://dl.dropbox.com/u/39688260/%40OAMemesRC1.zip

RC2 https://dl.dropbox.com/u/39688260/%40OAMemesRC2.zip

Changelog:

RC1 - Initial Release - 59 Texts

RC2 - Second Release - 86 Texts

Hoping you all have some good laughs and great games.

~DGN Team

Edited September 26, 2012 by ][Niipaa
Updatin'

[chrisb 196]

Thank you for this very appreciated little addon..:)

EDIT: Beginning to wonder if thank you was the right word..;)

Edited September 25, 2012 by ChrisB

[blackmamb 2]

Thanks a lot, guys! Downloading.

[][niipaa 11]

@ChrisB It may not be the right word, but it's words nonetheless good sir :3!

Thank you for the early support, we truly appreciate it. Alas it's 0230 Hours, and I'd call that bedtime. If you encounter any issues feel free to post them. If you're looking for something that just removes the tips altogether that's also available by the PvPScene and a few others as well. I could hunt the links down if needed later.

Also, any grammatical or spelling errors (Aside from intended ones) will be recitified later today. Enjoy and good games to all!

~][Niipaa

[blackmamb 2]

I'm afraid now. What's gon happen when i launch my game.

[Tankbuster 1733]

I'm afraid now. What's gon happen when i launch my game.

At least you won't be patronised.

[blackmamb 2]

Wait. I was very happy to be reminded to take a knee before shooting. Case i'd forget.

[SSG J. Switch 10]

Funny, but is there a way to simply disable the "helpful hints"?

[jedra 11]

Funny, but is there a way to simply disable the "helpful hints"?

Check out this post.

[Debo 0]

Does this work for all mp/coop sessions?

[Guest]

Hehe, nice addon and thanks for sending it our way :cool:

Release frontpaged on the Armaholic homepage.

CO/ACR Humorous Loading Tips RC1



- Arma 2: Army of the Czech Republic

- Arma 2

[genesis92x 810]

Does this work for all mp/coop sessions?

Yeah ^^ Anyone that has the addon will see the funny loading tips. It actually has very important information on how to be a medic in ArmA so your buddies won't let you down!

 First Rule Of Medic School - Pour salt on their wounds via your tactical shaker. Second Rule - Tie their shoes." 

Hehe, nice addon and thanks for sending it our way :cool:

Cool :D! Thanks

[][niipaa 11]

@Jebra - Thanks for linking the alternative!

To others, again, thank you for the support and kind words, your enjoyment is what makes it worth it. I will be weeding out any errors today and possibly adding some more.

Other than that, being that this is such an easily made and small addon, it will only be updated once every two weeks at the minimum. Unless there is some major change that needs to roll out.

With that said, have a nice day everyone, and remember to keep smiling. :3

[sxp2high 22]

I find it disappointing that the loading texts cannot be defined via description.ext - mission specific loading texts - like in Take On Helicopters.

In TOH it looks like this:

class CfgLoadingTexts {

class btk_loadingText1 {
	title = "Title goes here";
	text[] = {
		"First line of text.",
		"Second lien of text."
	};
};

};

:(

[][niipaa 11]

Ah but you can my man, like so :3

class CfgLoadingTexts
{

priority = 10;
titles[] =
{
"Hai! You're cute :3",

"Enemy Bush - 500 Meters",

"Dohohoho"

};
};

Just remember that once you save your Description.ext, you have to save your mission, close the editor, and reopen the editor then the mission to see the changes. It's very strange o_o! But it works.

Edited September 25, 2012 by ][Niipaa
Extra Infoz

[taro8 806]

Did you ad murphy's military law's? They fit awesomly wel into humorous Arma 2 siituations: http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-war.html

"Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at." - SOOO totally valid advice in Arma 2.

"If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike."

"If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid."

"A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down."

"You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note."

"It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to worry about."

"A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive."

"Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action."

"It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo."

"Happiness is a belt fed weapon."

"C-4 can make a dull day fun."

"If you survive the extraordinary things, it will often be the little things that will kill you."

"USMC: Uncomplicated Shit Made Complicated"

"Ch-53's are living proof, that if you strap enough engines to something it will fly."

"LZ's are always hot."

"It is a bad thing to run out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time."

"Tanks draw fire. A lot of it. It does not behoove the infantryman to hide behind one."

"If you're close enough to actually hear an M1 series tank running, while in combat, and not part of the crew, you're too close."

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is NOT your friend."

"Anything you do can get you shot -- including doing nothing."

"If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat."

EDIT: Some more arma specific ones:

"Try out armory, it's actually really fun!"

"AI does not care about your camouflage pattern. Feel free to look as baddass and out of place as you want."

"Enemy, BUSH. 50m. To our. FRONT."

"Arma 2: a magical land where you can have modern russian army fighting alongside WWII Wermaht against Vetnam era US military. With everyone being chased around by aliens."

"Fun fact: Air-to-air missiles are just as effective against ground targets."

"Arma 2: here your body consist of more then just your hands."

"attachto command is fun, fun, fun."

"A Stinger SAM can actually destroy a tank! Besides, if there is T-72 charging straight at you, then you don't have many options left."

"Never trust AI drivers and pilots! Those guys are bonkers!"

"Remember to look both ways when crossing the road. AI drivers WILL plow through you."

"Ambient Combat Manager WILL spawn an enemy Hind, just to fuck with you."

"Try out editor modules! You can quickly create a very dynamic and fun mission with just few clicks!"

"Don't bother healing wounded enemy, he will just shoot you in the back."

"Arma 2: the first rabbit simulator for the PC!"

"It turns out WWII Shutze squad CAN actually take on a Force Recon team."

"Arma 2: so realistic, that it can fool a TV station!

And they say it's the gamers who have problem with telling a game from a reality..."

"2, 3. Target that. ANIMAL. To our. LEFT FLANK."

Edited September 26, 2012 by Taro8

[genesis92x 810]

Did you ad murphy's military law's? They fit awesomly wel into humorous Arma 2 siituations: http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-war.html

SNIP

Baha, there are some good ones in there for sure ^_^

[ARMATalon 1]

The one about gametime distribution is golden and so true.

[hcpookie 3770]

A longer Murphy's list I found ages ago... some were already posted:

Friendly fire - isn't.

Recoilless rifles - aren't.

Suppressive fires - won't.

You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

when they're ready.

when you're not.

No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.

There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

The easy way is always mined.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. (For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.)

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

Things that must be together in order to work, can't be shipped to the field that way.

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. (Corollary: Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.)

Anything you do can get you killed, including doing nothing.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

Tracers work both ways.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.

When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

Military Intelligence is an oxymoron.

Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

Weather ain't neutral.

If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.

'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.

The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

Napalm is an area support weapon.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Interchangeable parts aren't.

It's not the one with your name on it that should worry you; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.

When in doubt, empty your magazine.

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.

The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.

Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.

The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.

A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.

The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.

The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)

Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.

When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.

Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.

The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.

To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.

The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.

The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.

When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.

The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.

A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.

The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.

All-weather close air support isn't.

The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.

It's easier to expend material in combat than to fill out the forms for Graves Registration.

Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate -- the bombs always hit the ground.

The crucial round is a dud.

Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.

There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.

Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.

If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.

If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.

Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.

The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.

The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).

There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.

Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.

The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.

Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.

Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.

There are few times when hostiles can't hear you: When they're dead, you're dead, or both.

You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.

Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.

NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy.

Being shot hurts.

[Vilman 10]

Thanx for this addon ! :)

Armaholic links are not working !

[][niipaa 11]

@Taro8 and Hcpookie, Thanks for the suggestions, but any chance we can get them in a spoiler or code box next time :3

@Armatalon, We feel the same way :(

@Vilman, Thank you giving it a chance! As for the ArmAholic links, I was able to get them working. Perhaps there was some short site maintenance or such?

Edited September 26, 2012 by ][Niipaa

[taro8 806]

"Fun fact: Arma 2 actually HAS hats!"

"AI: Artificial Insanity"

"WARNING: playing Arma 2 does NOT make you 1337 soldier in real life."

"Friendly reminder: Arma 2 does a good job at portraying a grunt's job in military. This means walking... a LOT of it."

Edited September 26, 2012 by Taro8

[Vilman 10]

@ ][Niipaa

i tried to dl it yesterday evening first time but it was not working yet.

[jeza 5415]

Both Aholic links are working ftp #1&2 just checked to be sure.

Thanks for the addon, some funny stuff in there :)

[][niipaa 11]

@Vilman, you can try the Dropbox link found here if ArmAholic is still sassing you, other than that I don't know :(

@Jeza, It was our pleasure :3 As long as laughs are had, it makes it all worth it.

@Taro8, Thank you for the Spoiler boxes and suggestions friend!

---------- Post added at 01:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:00 PM ----------

Really hate to double post, but RC2 has been released. Check the main post for a download link.

Edited September 26, 2012 by ][Niipaa
Nuffin to see hur