Military Humor

[Necromancer- 0]

Al Qaeda strikes again!!! http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/9559/5db2810f/index.html

[BlackScorpion 0]

So that's part of the new Al Qaida tactics they keep talking about on BBC?

[VictorTroska 0]

Al Qaeda strikes again!!! http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/9559/5db2810f/index.html

Muhahaha.. loool

[Sc@tterbrain 0]

Iraq battlefield slag. Quite ammusing.

Embrace the suk.

[BlackScorpion 0]

Eeeeeh... that need registration and I'm not that fond ordering a paper that's published on the other side of the world... even virtually.

[Sc@tterbrain 0]

Weird, it dosent do that to me. Try clearing your cookies or something.

[ralphwiggum 6]

After one da on the front news, LATimes.com moves everything to the archives, which requires registration. So unless you have an account with them, you can't read the articles.

[shinRaiden 0]

Or bugmenot

[Sc@tterbrain 0]

After one da on the front news, LATimes.com moves everything to the archives, which requires registration. So unless you have an account with them, you can't read the articles.

Hmm, I just clicked it and it came up fine for me.  I do not, nor ever would be, registered.

So here are the basic terms. Sorry for the funky link.

Air jockey: Fighter pilot or a fixed-wing pilot. On rare occasions, might refer to a helicopter pilot.

Ali Baba: Slang for enemy forces. Originated in the Persian Gulf War.

Battle rattle: Slang for combat gear. "Full battle rattle" means wearing and carrying everything (helmet, body armor, weapons).

Beltway clerk: A derisive term for a Washington political operative or civilian politician.

Bilat: A bilateral conference between coalition military units and local people. ("We're going on a bilat to discuss the security situation with Haji.")

Blackwater: Specifically, a private security firm operating in Iraq. Used as slang, can mean any private security firm. "Gone to Blackwater" indicates that a soldier quit the armed services and went to work for a private security firm.

Blue canoe: Slang for a portable toilet.

Bohica: Bend Over, Here It Comes Again. Pronounced "bo-HEE-ka." Means "we're about to get screwed, as usual." This term was in use in the Army in the 1960s.

Bombaconda: Slang for Logistics Support Area Anaconda, a major supply base near Balad, Iraq. Balad is also called "Mortaritaville."

Camp Ass: Refers to Camp As Sayliyah in Coha, Qatar.

Casper: Slang for someone who always disappears when there's work to be done.

Christians in Action: Slang for Central Intelligence Agency.

DFAC: Dining facility. Pronounced "Dee-FAC."

Dome of obedience: Slang for a military helmet. Also called a "brain bucket" or "skid lid."

Dynamic truth: Basically means "this is the plan when my supervisor gave it to me, but change is already in the works."

Echelons above reality: Higher headquarters where no one has an idea about what is really happening.

Embrace the suck: Phrase heard in OIF1 (the original Operation Iraqi Freedom force). Translation: The situation is bad, but deal with it.

Flash-blasted: Being screamed at or chewed out by the unit's senior noncommissioned officer.

Fobbits: Derogatory term for soldiers who never leave an FOB (Forward Operations Base).

Geardo: Derogatory term for the guy who has to have all the latest and greatest gear on his uniform, even though he does not know how to use it.

General order No. 1: General order that does not permit drinking or fraternizing in Iraq and Kuwait.

Ghetto grip: A detachable, pistol-type grip that can make a carbine easier to use.

Groundhog Day: Every day of your tour in Iraq.

Grunt-proof: Idiot-proof.

Haji: Slang for an Iraqi, but may mean any Middle Easterner who hails from a predominantly Muslim country.

Idiot stick: Slang for an M16 (or any weapon).

Jersey barrier: Slang for a small concrete barrier

Johnny Jihad: Slang for a Muslim or Muslim combatant.

Lifer juice: Coffee.

Marsalama: GI Arabic. Corruption of Arabic for "Go in peace." In conversation, it means "See you later."

Mookie: Nickname for Iraqi Shiite leader Muqtada Sadr.

O dark 30: Pronounced "oh dark thirty." A word play on military time. Means a very early hour during the night. ("We had to get up at oh-dark-thirty.")

OPSEC: Operational security. "Loose lips sink ships" of World War II fame is an OPSEC warning.

Oscar Mike: On the move (Marine lingo).

Oz: Australia. Hence "Ozzies" — Australians.

POG: People Other than Grunts. Pronounced like "rogue." Used by grunts as a derogatory word for everyone else.

Pubic plate: Also pube armor or pubic pad. Kevlar pad that flops over the crotch. Other terms: Nad Pad or Nut Guard.

PUC: Person Under Custody. ("We got two PUCs on that last raid.")

Red Zone: The area outside the Green Zone. "Haifa Street" is a main drag in the Red Zone.

RUMINT: Rumor level intelligence. A variant is BOGINT — bogus intelligence.

Rummy's Dummies: A derogatory name for the U.S. military under the leadership of former Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld.

Semper I: Pejorative Marine lingo for being overly concerned with one's own personal interests.

Single-digit midget: A member of the armed services who has nine days or less remaining on his tour of duty.

Speed bumps: A tanker's derogatory term for infantry soldiers. Operation Desert Storm-era slang still occasionally used.

Terps: Slang for interpreters

Tread head: A soldier serving in an armor (tank) or armored cavalry (armored recon) unit.

Turkey peek: To glance around or over an object or surface, such as a corner or wall.

Waxed: To get hit hard or get killed.

Weekend warrior: U.S. reservist or National Guard soldier.

Yalla: GI adaptation of Arabic word for hurry up or run.

[Tovarish 0]

for some reason I'm reminded of the Grunge Slang Hoax

[BlackScorpion 0]

The new Canadian Army LAV replacement?

[Messiah 2]

hehehe... he could have at least of secured the GPMG into the SF tripod correctly

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

comment moved

- I am not even arguing anymore -

[hoz 0]

Albert Schweizer how does this video relate to military humor? This should be something saved for the video thread.

[fubarno1 0]

After seeing the last post I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but here goes.

http://www.isnichwahr.de/redirect22715.html

It made me laugh

[Colossus 2]

Long-range missile

I think there was a similar one posted, but not the same one.

[doc_no1 0]

Rofl Run!!

[wex-q 0]

Omigod.

They gotta have pooped their pants

Quote[/b] ]Rofl Run!!

lol, well said

[charonos 0]

[Necromancer- 0]

[ralphwiggum 6]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070302/ap_on_fe_st/mistaken_invasion_2

Quote[/b] ]Fri Mar 2, 8:51 AM ET

ZURICH, Switzerland - What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

A spokesman for the Swiss army confirmed the story but said that there were unlikely to be any serious repercussions for the mistaken invasion.

"We've spoken to the authorities in Liechtenstein and it's not a problem," Daniel Reist told The Associated Press.

Officials in Liechtenstein also played down the incident.

Interior ministry spokesman Markus Amman said nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers, who were carrying assault rifles but no ammunition. "It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something," he said.

Liechtenstein, which has about 34,000 inhabitants and is slightly smaller than Washington DC, doesn't have an army.

Not the first time a military went into another nation. I remember when Brits(?) landed on Portugal.

[Balschoiw 0]

Quote[/b] ] I remember when Brits(?) landed on Portugal.

...and the german mountain recon troop that was in full camo on an orientation march and suddenly met 2 austrian border guards who were first a bit nervous but then pretty relaxed.

[BlackScorpion 0]

Not that unheard of, I guess... but would be quite a surprise. Atleast in FDF... "Wow, they've really put effort into this exercise... HEY! Stop shooting, got a wounded here... "Stoi, stoi!" Drop it and help!"

And now something that qualifies as military humour itself (French advised for caution)... http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/ARRSEPedia_Intro

Quote[/b] ]1. All UK pubs are required by law to have one alcoholic regular who used to be a member of the SAS and was one of the first pair into the Iranian Embassy.

[HotShot 0]

Delete (just realised story already been posted)

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

If you are stupid enough to get caught then you deserve this!

click me Sir!