I still see the face!

[MilitiaSniper 0]

When I close my eyes.

I sometimes see the face.

A child-like face.

A face that was a son.

A face that had a mother and father.

It was late evening.

In an undisclosed location of the world.

My job was to guard a facility.

After being on post for an hour or so.

A pickup truck came speeding across an open area.\

West of us.

Heading my way.

It was not a friendly.

My buddy radioed in the situation that was was unfolding.

I looked through the scope of my rifle.

What I saw was armed men.

They were carrying various rifles.

But I never saw him.

The truck stopped about 300-400 yrds. out.

They poured out the back of this truck.

But I still never saw him.

We recieved orders to hold fire.

Unless fired on.

Yelling came across the armed mens location.

I couldn't understand what was being yelled.

I saw smoke from a rifle.

Before I heard the shot.

The truck started speeding again.

Coming our way.

Heading for the gate.

Three burst rang out.

Trying to get the truck to stop.

It never did.

"Stop! that the F'ing truck!"

Someone yelled out.

Machine gun fire ripped through the windshield.

The truck pulled to the left and hit a barricade.

No motion came from the truck.

I looked out seeing the men approaching the post.

That's when I saw him.

But at the time I nevered noticed his true face.

All I could see was a rifle pointing our way.

A light smoke from his rifle covered his face.

Before the next shot could be fired from his rifle.

I paused my breath.

Not thinking of truly was I was about to do.

I squeezed the trigger.

He fell towards the right.

Did I get him?

After he was on the ground.

No motion came from his body.

Looking through the scope.

Looking at what I done.

The scope seemed to clear up more and more.

That's when I truly saw him.

That's when I saw the face.

The face of a child.

A face of a 10 -13 year old.

A face that had a mother and a father?

What have I done?

I must of have asked myself a hundred times within a minute.

I heard a voice.

It seemed to be my voice.

But my lips didn't move.

The voice was making excuses.

He had a gun.

He was shooting at your friends.

He was trying to kill you.

But I always argued back in my mind.

He was a kid.

I started to feel tightness in my stomach.

Silence filled the air again after 3 minutes.

From the time the first shot of the armed men.

To the last shot that came from my right side.

My friend looked at me.

Did he see what I did?

Why won't he saying something.

A minute later he asked if I was alright.

I said nothing.

Six of our guys went out to secure the area.

When they returned.

The First Sgt. stated one of the armed men was a child.

My throat was dry.

Like cottonballs.

He said, "Who ever shoot him."

"Did the right thing. He was armed with an paratrooper SKS."

He also said, "If any of you... need to talk."

"I will be here to listen and try to help."

He wasn't looking at me.

But it was like he was only talking to me.

Days later I tried again to make excuses to myself.

"I saved a life or lives."

"By taking his."

Everytime we had a chance to close our eyes.

I saw... his face.

I never said anything to the First Sgt.

I'm back home now.

In what some would say, "The comforts."

Now a civilian.

I have a job.

I have a beautiful wife.

A handsome son.

A townhome over looking a lake.

The American dream?

But I also have another dream.

A dream that haunts me.

Sometimes haunts me in the day.

A certain sound or smell.

Not every night he comes to me in my dreams.

But when he does.

I see his face clearer...

Than what my scope provided that day.

He never says a word.

He just stares.

Last year.

I wrote a letter to that's country's newspaper.

I explain pretty much what I said here.

I also asked for his parents forgiveness.

I don't know if my letter was ever printed.

I don't know if the parents were alive.

They may have been dead before I shot their son?

See over there... alot of children were parentless.

Anarchy was a daily life.

Trying to police a nation that was at war with it's self.

Is not an easy job.

Esspecially... when they don't care for peace.

Since the open letter to the news paper over there.

The haunting dreams have gotten less and less.

Is it just because time elapsed?

I would like to think... "I am forgiven."

I can't say where this took place.

Or when...

But I can say...

It is a sniper's haunting nightmare.

Sincerely, MilitiaSniper

[MilitiaSniper 0]

I haven't told this story in quite awhile.

I hope you all will be mature and respectful if you post a reply.

Sincerely, MilitiaSniper

[Black Knight 0]

Must be the most painfull thing, and hard if impossible to forget, but you did what you had to do.

[Akira 0]

You need to submit this to something....a magazine or a journal or something.

[Silent N Deadly 0]

That's touching. I am left without words. Very sad story, but you did the right thing.

[MilitiaSniper 0]

Sometimes I can go awhile without seeing his face.

When I do close my eyes and see him.

I ask for forgiveness.

Sometimes he goes away.

But... I don't see his face as much as I use to.

Sincerely, MilitiaSniper

PS. War isn't fun.

It's not like OFP.

If you die...

You can not restart again.

Remember this.

When someone you know dies.

At that moment... they only... become a memory.

And that's all!

[BoweryBaker 0]

It's good that you don't see his face as much as you do.

[billybob2002 0]

That is some powerful stuff...

What continent did this take place if I may ask?

[MrZig 0]

That'd be tough to handle man, I feel for ya and of course for that place.. and war..

[MilitiaSniper 0]

Thanks guys for being cool about this.

Sometimes when you share something.

You never know what people will say.

Sincerely, MilitiaSniper

"OFF the WALL Team"

[Gollum1 0]

Hard thing to do...such a waste, really.

[gandalf the white 0]

man... that's a sad story... one that really leaves an impression!

[Tovarish 0]

Very touching story. I agree with Akira, this should be published.

[shinRaiden 0]

- Comment pending ... -

[Bordoy 0]

Shows what war can do to anyone at any age. But sad story and I can only imagine what you feel.

[mr burns 132]

got to agree with the previous posts, impressive story, made me remember that war isn´t the clean&easy thing we see in everyday´s news or games.

of course i cant feel the same way you do because it´s simply beyond any understanding but im sure you´ve done the right thing and everybody else in your situation would´ve acted the same way if necessary.

what else would you do? stand there and watch your friends being killed by a kid whose mind is messed up with thoughts of vengeance by permanent brainwashing...no, never!

[MilitiaSniper 0]

Here are some sniper pics of my buddy and me.

Shoot and Scoot

Im the one squating.

Time Out

I'm on the left.

Funny One

I call this one. "Two BigFoots Sighting"

Me

a.k.a. MilitiaSniper

Me and BumRush

I'm the one on the left.

Black and White

In a swamp. Waiting for pickup.

Just thought I would share some pics.

Sincerely, MilitiaSniper

"OFF the WALL Team"

[Hit_Sqd_Maximus 0]

Nice pics. Just out of curiosity, are you in the Army or Marines? I'm assuming Amy?

[bn880 5]

Well, guilt... yeah, so let me ask you then, if someone talks to you about joining the military, do you say anything to them about thinking it over carefully, because they might actually have to do what they are trained for?

I mean, you feel guilt and see the face for a reason, it happens when somehow you feel there is more you need to do or that you need to change. That's my viewpoint on it, and I think that by sharing your story, you are doing something very good for people who can read it.

Who knows, do you know if everyone would even look at the face? You looked at the face, at least and you wanted to remember in some way.

[MilitiaSniper 0]

If someone asks me about joining the military.

I don't try to talk people out.

I say this:

"In my personal opinion. IF? You are able body.

You should enlist for two years. At least."

(Even though... U.S. Military is an all volunteers military.)

Serve your country at least two years.

Two years is nothing. Esspecially once your out of High School.

You don't have to enlist and try to be a sniper.

The U.S. Army alone... Has over 250 jobs.

Alot of the military jobs are the same, as in the civilian job market.

Plus you will have college paid for.

War isn't nice. You can't start over.

You may be civil. But is your enemy?

When a buddy dies. At that split point in time...

He becomes a memory. Think about that?

Pretty messed up huh?

I have a nephew who is getting ready to leave for Iraq.

He is a 249 SAW Gunner.

I told him.

"Don't try to be a F' ing. hero.

And if you find yourself alone and out gunned.

Don't! let them take you alive!

I don't want to see your face on the news.

Being held captive."

Sincerely, MilitiaSniper

"OFF the WALL Team"

[dabitup 0]

wow... I'm speachless..... you did the right thing, try your best not to fret over it.  (I know it's really hard. But still, you can try.   )

P.S.

Nice pics. And I wish your nephew luck!

[Jinef 2]

hehe, I like this thread. It's showing some truth.

Nice story Militia Sniper, about your experience - keep logic in the forefront, if you didn't react you would be to blame if anyone got killed/hurt by the fucker. However you have been socialised in a society where children are held in high regard, so it could really be worthwhile talking to someone qualified about it, they will help you.

Everyone else, this is what the military is so don't think it's sad, this is just how it is. We live in a very savage world:

...

In the time it took you to look at those three dots around 7 people have just taken their last breath, a few babies have just been born and shitloads of couples are climaxing together happily.

If people didn't kill each other such as militia sniper did the world would be overpopulated and people would die of starvation and disease instead. It's gotta be someone.

About your nephew - your advice was sensible enough but some additions from general experience of the British military.

Keep in good form with the NCOs, they are the people who know what's going on and get stuff done, they also survive. Forget the officers, they won't have the same quality of help to give.

Have a weapon with him at all times. Don't believe the green zone is safe bollocks, stay alert for everything.

Good luck with the therapy. PTSD is not worth ignoring, get it sorted. You and everyone around you will benefit from it.

[dabitup 0]

and this is exactly why we don't need children in ofp. I Don't want them in it anyway.

[MilitiaSniper 0]

These pics are not to brag in anyway.

If your an addon make.

You can use them if they will help you.

I'm just showing you all, because this is what I look liked.

A matter of fact.

That ghillie suit is hot to wear.

It's not exactly cool to wear.

Cause I sweated my tail off.

It was heavy to wear.

Sincerely, MilitiaSniper

"OFF the WALL Team"

     

[sanctuary 19]

What you guys thinks of the sniping photos of me and BumRush?

Sincerely, MilitiaSniper

"OFF the WALL Team"

     

Well, honestly i don't know what to think about your photos.

On one hand, you relate an horrible episode of your sniper job where you killed a child , with his face haunting you. On another hand, you want to show photos of your sniper job.

What do you want me , -as a reader of your previous public confession- , to think about the photos ?