Funny ArmA quotes

[nettrucker 142]

Hi everybody

browsing through the BI forum from time to time I see some really funny statements from my fellow community members which make me laugh real hard. I just came across one that nearly got me chocked. Shit I spilled quite some coffee on screen and keyboard. So I decided to open this thread with a first entry

. . . I'm an Arma noob (one with grey hair, perhaps I'm a groob?!) so I'm not very good unless its being shot in the face in which case I'm an expert . . . .

Thanks timc555 you made my day. LMAO

It's taken out of context naturally but it's funny as hell. :D

There's also a nice one in my signature. LOL I had a couple of more but it got me a warning so I had to remove them.

I hope that this thread can coexist with the ArmA memes thread without being closed.

and that you guys will add a lot of quotes just for the lulz . . . too much drama since the ArmA 3 release. Please post only funny things thank you.

cheers

Edited September 27, 2013 by nettrucker

[instagoat 133]

"I bet I can throw a grenade through that window"

...does that one count?

[nettrucker 142]

Why not? he must have been an expert than . . . I'm more kind of CarlGustaffa. :)

Here's another one

Originally Posted by copper2010

So I was replying to a comment early, when I realized my response was so big, it probably belonged in its own thread.

The thread was concerning that 50% of servers these days are Life servers and Wasteland. And I can't say I disagree. I see one or two domination servers now that are populated enough for me to join.

Why is this?

Most don't have the cojones to play a real game mode like CTI.

Edited September 27, 2013 by nettrucker
added another quote

[Tonci87 163]

Nice Thread idea, I wish the meme thread and this one were sticky

[mrcash2009 0]

Liquid Pinky: "I wouldn't feed steam my shit if it was starving".

I had that in my sig for quite a while :) More because of its UK phrase use, rare to see online.

[Icarus 12]

You made my day :D

Liquid Pinky: "I wouldn't feed steam my shit if it was starving".

I had that in my sig for quite a while :) More because of its UK phrase use, rare to see online.

[[evo] dan 79]

Something that happened in A2, on the 15th MEU server, on Fallujah:

"Hey guys, look there's a friendly helicopter, wouldn't it be funny if it crashed into those power lines?"

*gets minor laughs from the guys*, continues to walk down the road.

BOOOOOOM

"WTF?"

"The heli crashed into the cables...."

And just to tease, we went and revived the crew and walked off leaving them there, in the middle of insurgent held territory :D

[R0adki11 3945]

Nice Thread idea, I wish the meme thread and this one were sticky

Perhaps make a request and it then can be reviewed.

[rye1 21]

*Public players killed in an embarrassing way*

"How do you miss a whole squad coming up your rear?"

*Everyone laughs like children*

[ck-claw 1]

Someone somewhere posting in the wrong place asking for a Dev!!

The reply from 'Greenfist' :-

What kidn of dev you neeed? I'm developing a real bad cough, will I suffice?

Edit:- not really an Arma quote come to think about it!

Perhaps we should have 'A funny forums quote' thread?

Edited October 4, 2013 by ck-claw

[nettrucker 142]

Someone somewhere posting in the wrong place asking for a Dev!!

The reply from 'Greenfist' :-

Edit:- not really an Arma quote come to think about it!

Perhaps we should have 'A funny forums quote' thread?

That is funny as hell. LMAO :D

With Arma quotes I meant the forum quotes included. Keep 'em coming guys. In case you stumble about something funny please post here.

I found another funny one in the arma 3 section

So a dude complains about low FPS

Its called trying to put modern lighting, textures and graphics in an engine over 15 years old . . .

Hey, now! Let's not exaggerate. It's only 12-13 years old.

Oh, my bad. That's like mistaking a 120 year old woman for being 130.:o

cheers

Sorry I hope I don't get a warning for double posting but some days have past since my last entry.

Here's a real nice one. Thanks B00tsy . . .made me really chuckle like hell.

My opinion about the workshop after having used it for a couple of missions is that Steam is filled with ungrateful child whiners and plain griefers that bitch and moan and even lie about free content. . . . I hope BI will launch the Dayz crap very soon so that all the children will move on, ArmA has become a frikkin kindergarten without parenting control. . . .

that is for the lulz!!!

Edited October 10, 2013 by [FRL]Myke

[[frl]myke 14]

Sorry I hope I don't get a warning for double posting but some days have past since my last entry.

AFAIK, the edit function doesn't have a time limit. ;)

As a general note, when quoting forum members, if the quote could harm someone, please remove names and possible links. Not happened so far, just wanted to make sure it was said at least once.

[nettrucker 142]

Thanks Myke

I gonna bear that in mind.

cheers

[Mattar_Tharkari 10]

Writing a Function

The most important thing to remember when writing a function is that other people than you are going to use it. Most of them won't understand how does it work, expecting it to do its job without problems.

Your function must be robust. It shouldn't allow passing arguments of incorrect Data Types in. When some values are incorrect, it should throw an error explaining what went wrong and how to fix it. And above all, its header must provide complete explanation of usage.

http://community.bistudio.com/wiki/Functions_Library_%28Arma_3%29#Writing_a_Function

Now open the functions viewer in the editor............ROFL!

(Thanks to the minority of Devs that post examples!)

Edited October 10, 2013 by Mattar_Tharkari

[gammadust 12]

Arma player vs BF3 player:

(...) it's like playing bf3 like arma, all slow and realistic, just to be raped by all the high speed coke addict mad men/women who constantly sprint and spray (i play like that and enjoy it just for the record ;) )

[mrcash2009 0]

Sorry DM but I couldn't resist this one :)

I remember returning home from all day Goldeneye sessions at friends houses with blisters on my thumbs...

[nettrucker 142]

Here is a nice and funny exchange

dharbert doing some serious experiments with realism

Look anywhere on the BIS website and you will see them stating multiple times how ARMA is the "most realistic military simulator ever created". Their words, not mine.

Well, guess what? I just dropped an IFV from 3,000 feet in the air. You know what happened? That's right, absolutely nothing. It hit the ground at 150 km/h, landed upright, and the AI driver kept right on trucking without a bit of damage.

Interestingly enough, a helicopter (which weighs much, much less than a tank) reaches a free fall speed of about 400 km/h before it hits the ground, but the IFV (a tank) only reached 150 km/h before it hit the ground. Very realistic there.

---------- Post added at 01:07 ---------- Previous post was at 00:41 ----------

Oh, this gets even better. I just dropped a cluster of 6 tanks in close proximity from a height of 1000 meters. They fell to the ground, bounced off of each other, bounced around a few more times, most of them landed upright, none of them got damaged, and they rejoined a proper formation....lol

I guess BIS thinks tanks are supposed to be invincible bouncy rubber balls that just happen to be able to shoot at things too.

Reply from Outlawled

How dare they call this game a simulation! We should definitely start a class action lawsuit, man.

I don't even know what that means, to be honest, but we should do it, you know? Whatever it is.

Because this piece of shit game isn't a simulation at all. I mean, I dunno if anyone at BIS has ever been in the military, but when I was there, all we did was drop tanks out of the sky. Like, we'd wake up and I'd be all, "Hey, sarge, what are we doin' today?" And he'd be like, "DROPPIN' TANKS OUTTA THE SKIES AGAIN, PRIVATE!" And then I'd be all like, "Why are you always yelling? All you ever do is yell. Are you aware of this?" And he'd start weeping and tell me about how his wife just left him or something. I dunno, I was always too busy thinking about how awesome it is when tanks explode after falling out of the sky.

Anyway, all we're asking is that BIS waste their time coding for every single situation that would never arise in a gaming session where the intent was to simulate a real war experience.

Like, seriously. What does BIS even do ever? Add beautiful fucking light shafts and new scripting commands that are insanely useful? That's just dumb. Give us our realistic physics for unrealistic situations, god damn it! I'm sick of driving my tanks on the ground! What is this, Ground-Tank-Simulator 2012?

I love that one thanks for lighten up the mood boys.

[Lenyoga 326]

Reply from Outlawled

I'm dying here right now - it feels so good to know that sarcasm is still alive and fully active out there...

[nettrucker 142]

I'm dying here right now - it feels so good to know that sarcasm is still alive and fully active out there...

Yes it is. It is moreover funny like hell. I had some good laughs reading some of the comments.

[onlyrazor 11]

You know, there may yet be a market for Air Tank Simulation games...

[blu3sman 11]

From Flashpoint.ru forums (translated):

BIS' games get more and more expensive, and campaigns shorter and shorter.

Just like wars IRL - Arma is a simulator after all.

:biggrin:

[Tonci87 163]

From Flashpoint.ru forums (translated):

:biggrin:

Ha good one (although Arma 3 has been the cheapest game in the series if you bought it during the alpha.)

[nettrucker 142]

Oh my god the medic system !!!!

You guys seriously thought a medic system would get implemented? :)

Judging by what Arma 3 is you can probably forget about it. Maybe in a future expansion but I have more faith in Santa Claus then in that happening.

Delusional much? My kids know i work hard to buy their xmas presents-not some fictional fat twat with a beard!! :p:p

OT we'll just have to wait when or if medic stuff will get added? :cool:

keep 'em coming guys. :D

[onlyrazor 11]

You know, there may yet be a market for Air Tank Simulation games...

Slightly offtopic, but they've finally made one:

[nettrucker 142]

LOL that was really amazing. Thanks for posting.

cheers

Edited October 18, 2013 by nettrucker