Rewriting history......

[Assault (CAN) 1]

The following is something my friend sent me via e-mail, it's good for a laugh:

SIXTH GRADERS

Insight into the minds of sixth graders: The following were answers provided by sixth graders during a history test. Watch the spelling!

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him, because they thought he was

going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen, she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah."

10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure, because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hotey. The next great author was John

Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died, and he wrote Paradise Regained.

13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin, which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster, which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest, even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered the radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

LOL,

The McCormick Raper? Apparently it does the work of one hundred men, , ouch.

Tyler

[Wobble 1]

somebody made this up.

[Die Alive 0]

I have a friend who is a 6th grade teacher, and I saw some of the answers kids write on test, and some of them are f'in funny. Last month, I went over to his house when he was correcting exams, jesus there were some funny answers. The first post probably most of those are made up, but I know some of them probably did happen once.

-=Die Alive=-

[Placebo 29]

Yup I agree it sounds made up, very funny but made up, what 6th grader knows the word hysterectomy for example?

[Assault (CAN) 1]

I thought the same thing, but it's still funny though.

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"> Islamic pentameter <span id='postcolor'>

LOL, I can see that happening.

[Tex -USMC- 0]

Made up? maybe, but I heard that my tests were popular reading material in the teacher break room...

[second_draw 0]

6th graders are alot smarter then you think. I say this is made up becuase of the shear stupidity. The kid/s would have to have some disorder.

[Hilandor 1]

quote " egyptians wrote in hydraulics"   ROFL

quote " moses went up mount cyanide   ROFL

i can imagine a smart ass 6 year kid thnking   "wow  i know all this " and his spelling is crap lol

[DarkLight 0]

Well..... where i go to school we write stuff like that down too (and 6th grade was a looooooong time ago), when you don't know the answer you just write some stupid stuff that you think is funny or that could be treu. With some luck, you'll get an extra point for being original

[nordin dk 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

<span id='postcolor'>

I went to the Brit Milah, man that was some party...

[Damage Inc 0]

LOL

[FallenPaladin 0]

I remember my english lessons in the 11th grade. I had an english teacher who wanted us to learn Oxford english. She was very nasty and knew that I didn`t like her. So she always asked me to read my homework essays.

That bothered me, because my english was always quiet good (even if I`m german and it`s not my native language), but she tried hard to find any mistake of mine. It was always the same: „Ronnie, would you like to read us your homework, please?“ Man, I felt constantly pissed at that time...

If I hadn`t made and read my homework I had recieved a bad mark, so I had no choice. I had to read. But my vengeance was terrible for my english teacher! She was a very conservative woman and Ken Follett was in her eyes pornographic!! Also she hated slang and bad language.

Every next time I had to write an english essay, I did it very seriously with big research. I began normally with the given topic, only to suddenly change it completely. For example I wrote a fictious football moderation or gave a commercials break. Everything total nonsense but grammatically correct. Also my essays were very satiric and funny with a lot of bad expressions (but my english teacher was not able to understand them, hahaha).

My class loved them and because they were written in correct english my teacher had always to give me a good mark. And when she realised I made fun of her she finally left me alone

[Thehamster 0]

LMAO.

[Assault (CAN) 1]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">somebody made this up. <span id='postcolor'>

Nope. I found the source of it today in school. It's real, most of it that I can confirm anyway.

Originally some teacher had saved them up and sent them in to 'Ann Landers' as a joke, she put them in her article anyway. Alot of the stuff that was on my original post was in that article.

If I had a scanner, I would gladly show you guys.

Cheers......

Tyler