Fun resistance stories

[Chomps 0]

Post things that have happened while playing Resistance that really made you laugh (or you found at least mildly funny). Something crazy you did, something stupid the AI did, post it here!

For me, on the mission where you go hunting gunships, I had three guys armed with AA launchers and one with an RPG Launcher. I decide to move to the tall hill to the southeast of the airbase because it seemed to be a good place to fire from.

So, there was a BMP and a T-72 moving across, I drop down and give all my guys the order to hold fire--I was caught off guard by the passing tanks (I'm a lousy player). So they pass, and I figure I still do not want my RPG guy to engage the tanks, so I keep him holding fire and let everyone else fire at will.

I advance further and see the tanks coming back the other way, so I drop down and wait, hoping they will leave for good.

All of a sudden, I see three rockets zoom over my shoulders and slam into the BMP. Apparently the AA guys took it upon themselves to engage the tanks.

Okay, that really was not funny at all, maybe yours will be better!

[Harnu 0]

This one time I got the AI to drive straight on the road!    

Well, one time in MP.  I snuck into an enemy area.  They were defending a flag on a C&H map.  I found 3 of them sitting right near each other.  I had a satchel so I set it.  I set it for like 3 mins or something like that.  Incase I died, which I did.  One guy turned around saw me and shot me.  So I grab my ammo, grab a chopper and head back over to that flag.  Jump out.  Get on the ground.  And now I'm behind a building.  I saw the 3 guys.  They were still in the same spot maybe 100m out away from me.  Then BOOM!  MY satchel goes off.  I ran out to pick em off cause I thought they may have lived.  and as soon as I step out, one of their bodies flies and hits me!

[InqWiper 0]

One thing I thought was funny in the campaign was in that mission where U were supposed to take over a enemy base and then they would counterattack with tanks.

When the choppers came (Mi-17+Mi-24+V-80) Victor said something like this:

What the hell is this?They´ve got gunships! We can´t fight gunships!

About 10-15 minutes later they were all smokeing on the ground

Amazing what U can do with RPG after U had a little practise  

[ralphwiggum 6]

my first death. died while trying to ride the bus in campaign.

[Paratrooper 0]

One of the best things about resistance is the improved AI. I had made a mission where there was a Russian camp in the village of Troska (beneath the main ruins). I was a lone resistance soldier inside the church. I went out shooting but was forced back inside. After holding off UCE's Russians (I'm always plugging these, but if you haven't got them go and get them now) who tried to get into the church, I was horrified to see a SpetzNaz trooper place a satchel charge at the door and run off. I was blown away of course.

Resistance is worth the Island and AI improvement alone!

[LordZach 0]

So many funny stories, where do I begin.

My first death was in invasion, I was going full speed on the motorcycle over a hill and ended up taking a bit of a flight with a shall we say unhealthy landing, crashed the bike and slid maybe 10 meters down the road, if that wasn't enough shortly after I died a yellow car drove over my neck and legs

On the mission where you are supposed to destroy the gunships at the airport, my men kept getting killed no matter what I did. On about the 6th try, I eventually went in with a bizon, 6 magazines and 2 RPGs. I had my men wait on the hill while I proceeded to run in from the west side. Ran as fast as I could into one of the buildings, got to the top floor and started picking off troops through one of the windows with my Bizon. I'm sure we all know the Bizon isn't the most accurate weapon at 200m but there I was in the house merrily picking away soviets, blasting away a MI-24 that was trying to take off in the process. When I was out of ammo (and all the ruskees I could see were dead) I ran outside with my CZ75 drawn, only to come face to face with half a dozen soldiers & a few spetz natz. While my body was being happily violated with many many rounds of ammo, the spetz natz ran up to me and put a bomb at my then falling body. Eventually I finished the mission another time by stealing all the helicopters

The following is an example of what a black op can do to a bus full of General Guba clones.

[liquidsteel 0]

hahaha smarter ai yea right, two stories first was mission,,where u defend the enemy base in the ruins.i had cleared out all the tanks and foot soldiers after several hours crawling and sneaking around,finally the 3 choppers showed up and victor said "gunships we cant fight gunships" not 5 seconds later they all three collided in midair just south of the base,i have a screenshot of them all mangled on the ground but nowhere to post it,

second was where you destroy the convoy coming up the mountain pass,i had first shot the driver of the uaz took it up to the ammo stash and loaded it up with mines rpgs [i filled my men up with xtra rpgs] and satchels,then drove down to where the pass is real narrow hid the uaz, laid 2 mines across and and ran up the cliff and waited,i had the sniper rifle,when the first two tanks came by they somehow managed to slip by the mines and continued up the pass then the front bmp came and hit the mine kablooy right into the lake .the 5 trucks then panicked and froze just long enuff for me to kill the 5 drivers.the troops jumped out of the 2 urals and i managed to kill them all,i then rpged the rear bmp .while figuring out what to do the first 2 tanks came back,i put 2 rpgs into there barrels making them useless i knew from previous tries there would be more so i laid a line of satchels further down the pass,then the t72 t80 and shilka start coming up the pass .they musta seen all the empty trucks dead bodies 2 tanks that werent firing,and panicked as all 3 drove over the cliff,more smart ai , the shilka couldnt stop ,hit the water and blew up,i now had a t72 a t80 stuck over the hill,a t72 and a t80 with broken guns,i proceded to drive the 5 trucks to a safe place away from the cliff[so the tanks with good guns wouldnt shoot at them when i was close]i then loaded up with "hand grenades" and proceded to nade the tanks on top till the crew jumped out,i had my men way off with sniper rifles and they quickly dispatched the crew,i then jumpen in the t80 and repaired it with the repair truck,one down 4 to go,i did the same with the other tank on top,i now had the original res bmp and res t80 i started with plus 5 trucks 2 ammo 1 repair and 2 urals an extra t80 and t72,and still 2 tanks stuck on the hill,i grabbed 4 rpgs and went aways away and disabled there main guns as before,i loaded up on nades again and started lobbing them over the side,as soon as the first nade hit the tank flew into the water and blew up,so i got an idea,i reloaded a save ,i ran and got the 2 urals and parked them by the waters edge to stop the tanks from sliding into the lake,it worked .as the crew jumped out my men nailed them,the tanks had severe track damage and were undrivable,no problemo,i went and got the repair truck repaired both tanks,and the 2 urals from the damage they took when the tanks hit them and happily drove them up the hill,i now had 3 t80s 2 t72s a bmp 2 ammo trucks 2 urals full of goodies from the dead crews and troops and the ammo stash and a repair truck,i had no problem getting my men to drive the trucks to the retreat base but they went the opposite direction with the tanks[smart ai here ]i had to drive all 6 tanks my self.you just have to keep a man away from base so mission wont end before you get all yer goodies back,and no none of the extra tanks or trucks were carried over to future missions but i like to play to do the most damage and highest score,even if it did take 5 hours,

[Othin 0]

One of my favorite moments in OFP:R was when I was doing the mission where you have to take over the airport. We parked our truck behind one of the hills and ran forward till we were on the hill overlooking the hangers and barracks. As we crawled forward we spotted one of the enemy infantry squads ahead of us. Before I could order my sniper to start picking them off the "Jaroslav twins" (who I outfitted with matching PKs) took it into their own hands and opened up. It was so great, one on each side of me booming out on my Klipsch Promedia 5.1s they unloaded and took out EVERYONE.

Another favorite moment was when I was doing the bridge destruction mission. I had ordered all my men to stay up on the hill overlooking the bridge and took out all the enemies myself. I had run to the shore on the near side and (I thought) picked off all the enemies stationed on the other side. I ran across the bridge to put satchels on the support when suddenly an enemy officer stood up before me and began turning towards me with his AK74. I was out of bullets for my Druganov and had dropped my handgun earlier. It was one of those moments that goes on forever as I frantically smashed the prone button (hoping to hide behind the BMP wreck) when suddenly I hear a crack, the officer drops, Number 6 (my M21 sniper) calls out "I've got him!", and I let out a sigh of relief.

An unfavorite moment is the unfailing markmenship of the enemy troops on the mission where you get the ammo off the beach. It seems no matter what I did they would shoot me while I hid behind the truck. I caught a break when the BMP came over the hill behind them and crushed the majority hiding in the bushes. Maybe that was a favorite moment after all

[EBass 0]

Contraband was fantastic for me. When the Soviets saw me I just hit the gas and ran over two soldiers. Shells exploded either side of me as I was cresting the hill. Then a chopper began to shoot me up with FFARs and cannon they were exploding all around me but I drove straight through the fire.

Another great moment was when my mates were all lying low in some brush randomly popping up and blowing away enemy tanks and infantry when Robbie and Craig took a Cobra and started barraging us with FFARs I saw Chris' body fly over my head as the FFARs smashed our cover to pieces. He turned slowly again to face us almost stationary. BIG MISTAKE we all opened up on the cockpit smashing the pilot to a bloody pulp. Craig could only watch as his chopper spiraled down to explosion in the vally

[McH 0]

All the funny things actully happened to me in the multyplayer of res.....

One time a chopper was taking off the base, it didnt pick me up, so i shot at him, he started to land to pick me up, but than it suddendly Turned over and exploded, i could stop laughing.

And the second time, which was yesterday, a chopper started to taking off, and suddendly some crazy driver rammed it with an hammer, both exploded lol

[karynova 0]

I was playing Fireworks (the one where you blow the bridge) and I was sitting up on the hillside picking people off with my M21 when out of nowhere this V-80 plows nosefirst into the road, explodes, and then slides the entire length of the enemy base, taking out almost all the enemy soldiers and most of the buildings.

For once I appreciated the AI handling of the V-80!

[swilliams 0]

One of my moust joyous and laughable moments was the one where you had to take over and hold the enemy port(madrina or something). It was the later part when all my tanks were destroyed and i was the only one left. I was on the bank next to the church and 3 or 4 soviet tanks were coming for me, but they all passed me and drove down the bank into the sea and exploded! Thats how I completed that mission

[Oppenheimer 0]

Not really funny - but basically on the Resistance Single Misison Underhill (the Russian Beach landing) I managed to complete it without a single man making it onto the beach lol - I have played this mission about 24 times lol

I was lucky as none of te accesible M" machine guns were hit by arty fire.

I used all the ammo from the first (lower M2) while one of my men used all his ammo from the upper gun - I used the 3 laws also and took out both BMP's in the water and one boat with the remaning LAW - and the rest were destroyed by machine gun fire or all the men in the back were killed

The G36 is such an awesome weapon

[Gollum1 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Oppenheimer @ Aug. 10 2002,14:06)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">The G36 is such an awesome weapon <span id='postcolor'>

It´s also awesome that the U.S soldiers could travel in time and get the g36 from about 20 years in the future.

The Apache helicopters in the end video were 2 years ahead of their time, too.

But I digress.

In the mission where you had to destroy the 3 helicopters at the airport, I destroyed the hangar with the V-80 in it and tried to fly out with the chopper...

Big mistake.

The chopper got stuck in the roof, and I know that the OFP engine does this all the time, but it started jumping around IN the roof at lightspeed, and...well it´s hard to describe but it was the funniest OFP engine bug I have seen, it was totally insane and me and my friend just LMAO:d. I jumped out of the chopper and watched it for 5 minutes.

[SCA Jolly 0]

Fireworks -

At the moment we started out, I called 0-0-1, 0-0-2 and 0-0-3! I wanted to take these Russian bastards off this part of the island, once and for all! Two of mye guys carrys AA, and two other carrys two satchels each, so I can have the RPG.

I shoot the BMP about 500m away, and command my men to attack! I take out some of the guys in the patrol, but I get hit by the sniper @sshole! I don't die, and I cant see any wounds. I order my men forward whilst I shoot the two Spetznatz' with my last RPG.

Suddenly, a new bullet finds the way into my body. I don't die, but I have a very ugly head injury! I shoot about all of the Russkies with my Steyr on Full Auto, I start walking down towards Downtown Neveklov, but an officer and his comrades are in my way, so I get a new bullet in my collection, and the soviets are dead.

I only have 4 men left except for myself.  Now I send all of my men to a small farm, near the hillock, while I'm gonna get the satchels. I take the satchels, drives to the farm in an UAZ, only to discover that I'd forgotten the last Satchels, I Save (the game saves) and go back.

I get near a spetznatz who carryes a Bizon I would like to have, so I take it. Suddenly my #2 says "4 'OCLOCK, BMP, 200", so I'm about to pick up an RPG from the dead soviet soldier, when I hear the noise. I turn around, and I remember it as minutes before I turn around, and there, abput 30 meters away from me, heading my way in about 80km/h, is a BMP! I scream out, VERY loud, and press Esc. I jumped up on my seat, and started to laugh!

Maybe it doesn't sound funny, but I thought it was funny as h*ll!  

[Nightbaron 0]

Well,most laughable moments for me in OFPR usually about the AI....

I kindda love to construct mission or campaign for me to play and have fun with OFP & OFPR.

Now,I got this mission where me and other friendly groups dropped off in some hot LZ ....In OFP the uh60 gunner were actually useless,he just sit there doing nothing (heck,sometimes i got enemy lining up in front of my of the chopper just waiting for my guys to disembark).

So suddenly here comes Resistance...with improved AI...I got excited and bought it asap and fire up the old mission on OFPR.

The gunner works quite acceptable in OFPR...but guess what...now its about the pilot

Sometimes i must even replay the mission a couple of times before those goons actually reached the waypoint...they keep ramming at each other in midflight.

[STS_SolidSnake 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Harnu @ Aug. 07 2002,07:58)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">This one time I got the AI to drive straight on the road!     <span id='postcolor'>

[Chomps 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (You_looking_at_me? @ Aug. 07 2002,23:52)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Contraband was fantastic for me. When the Soviets saw me I just hit the gas and ran over two soldiers. Shells exploded either side of me as I was cresting the hill. Then a chopper began to shoot me up with FFARs and cannon they were exploding all around me but I drove straight through the fire.<span id='postcolor'>

I did the exact same thing!! However, one of the shells went off too close to the truck so I finished the mission with all my men bleeding, but alive.

Another person mentioned getting hit by a flying body. I was driving down the road in a truck in some silly mission I whipped up and saw someone's corpse fly right at my window. I guess the truck must have been hit by a bullet soon after, because the glass cracked at around the time he struck my windshield, making a very nice effect.

A fun thing to try is removing part of the bridge (put "object # setPos [0,0,0]" in the mission, where # is the ID of one segment of the bridge), then trying to jump it with the motorcycle. Of course, since there is no incline, I did not make it. I tried ejecting as I flew off and I flew head first into one of the bridge supports!

I made a script where when you eject from the motorcycle, you open a parachute, so I did some fun stuff driving off cliffs, ejecting, watch my motorcycle plunge while I float off.

I love this game!

[Pvt. Jackson 0]

Two words: pistol kills.

I would love to have a knife in there.

[jakerod 254]

This is my funniest story so far....my comp sucks so i cant use nogova cuz it lags too much....

I made my own mission where I was a guy in a squad for the west side. WE were assaulting a hill and my officer always runs straight onto the hill. On the hill there are 3 bunkers each had a M2 on it and a grenadier...so my officer got killed everytime. I finally save it my lobbing several grenades into the bunkers before he gets there. Then the enemy counter attack comes up the side of the hill. My officer whips out his pistol and just starts shooting everyone.. the enemy officer runs up right in my officers face and trys to whip out a pistol but gets hit straight in the head. Then our grenadier shoots a grenade at the enemy officer even though he is dead and the whole squad happened to be around him at the time....boom we all die.

I was playing some custom island and i was in a BRDM i think and i drive off this cliff as i am about to hit the water i eject and somehow when i hit the water my body goes flying up like 2000 feet in the air literally.

[camper 0]

Well.

In a multplayer game, was a CTF mission, I was russian and a Bradley was coming to my base, it was out of ammo, I ran to my base trying to stop it, but I didn't have RPGs so I met the bradley in my base and one mate was defending the base with sniper rifle.. the bradley was chassing me and finally I get front of it, we were stopped a while and I put my weapon back and salute it, the bradley's driver came out for kill me and I ran out behind a build, he hit me once but my mate was on his back and killed him! jaja, we were laughting a lot!.      

EDIT: I got the bradley and go to their base, hehe, got their flag a couple of times

Greets

[PLRSniper 3]

I was in M1A1 and shoot to Sport car and explode the Truck in the opossite side near the hills... Its very funny like the movie "Sgt.Billcow" or something similar....

[Hidden 0]

It´s "Sgt. Bilko", not Bilcow.. good movie anyways, gave me a good laugh    Hovering tanks.. lol

Actually, I wrote the title wrong myself and had to edit.. I admit it!

[EBass 0]

Not exactly a story but quite funny (well I think) every time you travel in a truck the slightest damage to the truck does the slightest damage to the passengers. load the truck up with men with their health slider on lowest (how do you make em start dead?) and then shoot the truck once in the wheel, or anywhere and every single soldier will keel over dead.

[Csm 0]

My best story is the one where after you defend the ruins some V-80s come and fly over, well anyway the first time i did it i was feeling well pleased with myself because i done it nearly all on my own so im standing in the ruins surrounded by wrecks of tanks and dead men waiting for the end of the mission when all of a sudden theres a fairly huge explosion slightly off to my left, this got me a little worried so i start running to my left when about two more mamoth explosions follow me across my run and by this time im shitting myself with fear and all of a sudden the heavens open and im SWARMED with explosions all over the ruins destryoing EVERYTHING not already toasted! finally i buy the farm from cannon fire i think (hard to see! and just as i was falling bacwards i saw that great dragonfly of death gloating over my charred corpse! what was worse i honestly had NO idead what was doing it!