Words of wisdom

[Die Alive 0]

Confucius  Say:

 

 1. Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone.

 2. Man who run in front of car get tired.

 3. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

 4. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

 5. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

 6. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

 7. Man with one chopstick go hungry.

 8. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

 9. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

 10. Baseball is wrong; man with four ball cannot walk.

 11. Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

 12. War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

 13. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

 14. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

 15. It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.

 16. Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

 17. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

 18. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

 19. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

 20. Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

 21. Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

 22. Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

 23. Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.

 24. Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.

 25. A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.

 26. America good place to Put Chinese Restuarant.

 27. Confucious say it take square ass to shit a brick.

 28. House without toilet is uncanny.

 29. To make egg roll, push it.

 30. To prevent hangover stay drunk!

 31. Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.

 32. Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.

 33. Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.

 34. Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands

 35. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

 36. Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

 37. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

 38. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

 39. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

 40. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

 41. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

 42. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

 43. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

 44. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

 45. If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

 46. Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

 47. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

 48. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

 49. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

 50. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

 51. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

 52. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

 53. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

 54. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

 55. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

 56. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

 57. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

 58. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 59. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

 60. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

 61. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving

 62. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

 63. Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.

 64. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

 65. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 66. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 67. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

 68. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

-=Die Alive=-

[Tovarish 0]

LOL these are good

[Joe Porta 0]

ROFL, I'm gonna have to use a few of these

[USSoldier11B 0]

LOL! Very amusing.

[Assault (CAN) 1]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.<span id='postcolor'>

LOL, true in more ways than one.

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Die Alive @ April 09 2002,01:50)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Confucius  Say:

 

  6. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

 <span id='postcolor'>

I am fed up with this image of Thailand. I worked there (rather an internship) in Marketing and I must say it is a great great country. No doubt, there are things going wrong in this society, but you wont believe how many people that make fun of it use the freedom there (hint / not me though). I will probably return and work there as Hospitality consultant and I have no doubts. Go there and have a look and your will see. It is a damm great country with damm smart, polite and friendly people!  

[Assault (CAN) 1]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">I am fed up with this image of Thailand. I worked there (rather an internship) in Marketing and I must say it is a great great country. No doubt, there are things going wrong in this society, but you wont believe how many people that make fun of it use the freedom there (hint). I will probably return and work there as Hospitality consultant and I have no doubts. Go there and have a look and your will see. It is a damm great country with damm smart, polite and friendly people!<span id='postcolor'>

WOAH!, ease up Albert!

I think you took that in the wrong context, or maybe too seriously.

Turnstiles tend to fly back up at you when you walk through them, sometimes hitting you in the butt. If you (a guy) walk sideways you are risking getting a knock in the nuts, hence the saying 'bang cock' or 'bangkok'.........hahaha........get it?

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

No, I got that yoke. And damm I couldnt prevent myself from smiling. But I just thought I need to make a comment here. It is just funny to see how such a strong economical nation (and probably the only asian one that has never been colonialised) gets generalised. I hope they gonna stricten their laws so they can get rid of this image!

(BTW with (hint) I meant that the US-Navy regularily stops in Thailand and then you got thousands of horny soldiers on the mainland that think they can harass any women they see. It is not always funny to see those guys with their limited knowledge of foreign cultures wandering around in the town. Like buffaloes.

[Gorgi Knootewoot 0]

LOL

[Die Alive 0]

I own a book called Bangkok: Cesspool of the Orient. It's a futuristic role-playing guide on Bangkok.

-=Die Alive=-

[Hilandor 1]

woah albert u seem stressed out today i dont think there was any racial or country flaming in the slightest with that remark

have u taken ur medicine today??

[KingBeast 0]

Speaking of Thailand, i saw this Lous Theroux program where he was investigating the agencies you go to, meet thai girls and then get married 2 or 3 days later.

Old 50 year old men getting married to 20 year old thai ladies that cant even speak English. Pretty sick.

Hmm way off topic there, so....

Confucius Say: Couple who cross

LSD with birth control pills, get a trip without the kids

Confucius Say:

Prostitute who likes bondage is usually strapped for cash.

[Wobble 1]

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Hilandor @ April 09 2002,16:54)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">woah albert u seem stressed out today  i dont think there was any racial or country flaming in the slightest with that remark

have u taken ur medicine today??  <span id='postcolor'>

[anger mode] Are you talking to me ? Are you seriously intentively authentically talking to me? What you wanna say with that, my medicine.... I know what you r talkin about, you mean my Anti-cholerics! Who told you about it? Who is telling stories behind my back there? Is there anyone I cant trust! I mean, is there anyone I still can trust? What did you say....No, I saw you saying something... I heard it.... you were saying something about me!.... Now that you are lying you admit you were saying something bad about me... I am right! right?

(Albert slightly schizophrenic]