Ofp Humour

[somebloke 0]

Tell us about any seriously funny, or down right stupid, stories when you've been playing ofp. Both MP and SP stories are welcome.

[tankieboy 0]

Is humour allowed on these forums?

[somebloke 0]

probably not, but lets see how long we get away with it.

[Madus_Maximus 0]

Once in MP (it was an FDF mission, REALLY foggy) myself, Rogue and someone who shall remain nameless were on our way to the other teams base in a small convoy, myself and Rogue were in a BTR-80 (I think, cant remember now lol) and the nameless person was in a Ural following behind us. Anyway, I thought it'd be a nice trick to suddenly turn my lights off and stop just by a cliff, and low and behold the nameless person flew off the cliff going about 70kph (it was down hill too hahah), then he flipped, his guy was flung out, and several ai soldiers flew out too and the ural ended up on its backside. Me and Rogue literally laughed out loud for about 10 mins straight hahah! If only I had fraps running at the time!

[somebloke 0]

I remember one mp game where i was just mucking about with the FLK's Harrier, was trying to mess with Vtol, accidently put it up too high, so the harrier started rolling, rolled like 20 while descending very quickly. It landed perfectly on it's wheel's no damage at all. And it actually landed on top of an enemy position, so i just let loose with the cannon and wiped out 5 people. My side were pissin themselves about it (they'd been watching my efforts from a nearby hill).

[gandalf the white 0]

i can remember someone of my clan wanted to fly really bad , said he was all good at it in SP etc , well, i ehhh.... have reason to suspect he had only played with the OH-58 (Kiowa warrior) , so when he then got permission to fly a CH-47....

( we all lived btw )

EDIT: addons : Lowlands warrior stuff (island + units ) , FDFmod (not showing on pics)

[Sniper_Panther 0]

Well I was playing with shellshock (Yes the maker of skye virus.) Well I don't know if there is a new version but the one with the bridge blocked off with barbed wire barricades we were playing.

Anyway we were near that truck with the M16. I said "Yo first one to get across the bridge wins." We both got in one of them small ugly fast cars the ones where you play campaign ev. So we are going towards the bridge and it is foggy as hell. Going tops speed. Then I see the barricade so I'm like "Aww shit".

I flew into the barricade killing myself. Then Shell Shock, flew into me. lol.

Anyone know where Shell Shock went? I will see if I can find the picture.

EDITED: Picture found. ShellSh0ck, come back =(

[Madus_Maximus 0]

Haha, I remember playing that mission once, we were getting the last radio bit as we just drove past loads of zombies, and then the nugget driving went too fast over a hill and hit a fence which totalled the car lmao! we got out and were going to run for it but he had the idea of fighting them off alone and died, leaving me aaaaaaall alone. The funny thing is i just told him to slow down before getting to the hill so he didn't crash, and he said "dont worry I wont" lol. Ah, happy days!

[HotShot 0]

i can remember someone of my clan wanted to fly really bad , said he was all good at it in SP etc , well, i ehhh.... have reason to suspect he had only played with the OH-58 (Kiowa warrior) , so when he then got permission to fly a CH-47....

You can't talk Gandalf, you managed to have a mid-air collision, at least mine was a crash on landing.

[somebloke 0]

not as bad as me, i spent 30 minutes trying to start the bloody chopper. in the end i gave up and shot it with a law.

[gandalf the white 0]

i can remember someone of my clan wanted to fly really bad , said he was all good at it in SP etc , well, i ehhh.... have reason to suspect he had only played with the OH-58 (Kiowa warrior) , so when he then got permission to fly a CH-47....

You can't talk Gandalf, you managed to have a mid-air collision, at least mine was a crash on landing.

and flip a PASI in the middle of a desert remember?

but hey! i was the one that picked you guy's up in the middle of a forest with thesame chinook (after restarting offcourse)

and the mid air collesion, who in the hell is stupid enough to play chicken with a CH-47 ? he had a far more agile chopper, it's like crossing in front of a 10 ton truck and expect him to stop when you can't make it!

ahwell, it was fun...

[Commando84 0]

Man mp stories...  all crazy stuff has happened there and more.. Well me and a buddy of mine and a another buddy where playing one of my coop missions which was basicaly about running around one of the large cities in cat shit one's afghanistan island as bas delta rangers and shooting and blowing rebels and milita stuff up with some help of choppers , anyways we had cleared out aprox. 70% of the city from hostiles and destroyed some hidden ammo crates when i was wathcing a "cross roads" that looked like this

up street

                        | ! |

                        | ! |

              --------    -----------

   left   A  -------  R   __ B

                        |    |

                        |    |

when one friend stands in the left side and see's a enemy running up the street, he takes aim and friend number two

is running towards friend number 1 who is aiming and firing on the running rebel... bt he misses and kills friend number two and the stupid a.i loon gets away  

short story coop mission turned into DM when friend A and friend B goes and kills eachother 2-3 times to revenge..  

that was really crazy just because friend A missed the target then friend B got very upset  

[Sniper_Panther 0]

Nice drawing.

[wolfbane 0]

I dunno if this is very humourus but something incredible happend yesterday as i was testing Rezin´s Mitsubishi F2 in the editor.

I was doing all sorts of crazy stuff with the plane when all of a sudden i lost control and was heading for the ground and certain death in high speed. At about 5 meters from the ground i hit the middle mouse button in panic, randomly scrolled through the action menu and tapped the button again. This was litterally done in a fraction of a second (try doing it as fast as you can and you get an idea of how fast it was).

In the very instant i hit the middle mouse button.. boom!! the plane exploded.. To my suprise i was not dead but i was standing up on my feet beside the burning plane without a scratch. I must have managed to hit eject action a fraction of a second before the plane exploded. I was not catapulted up in the air and the parachute didn´t deploy i just sort of teleported out of the plane and ended up on my feet beside it. I was so stunned i started to laugh.

It may not sound so incredible when you read about it but when i experienced it ingame it truly was because everything happend so damn fast.

[gandalf the white 0]

I dunno if this is very humourus but something incredible happend yesterday as i was testing Rezin´s Mitsubishi F2 in the editor.

I was doing all sorts of crazy stuff with the plane when all of a sudden i lost control and was heading for the ground and certain death in high speed. At about 5 meters from the ground i hit the middle mouse button in panic, randomly scrolled through the action menu and tapped the button again. This was litterally done in a fraction of a second (try doing it as fast as you can and you get an idea of how fast it was).

In the very instant i hit the middle mouse button.. boom!! the plane exploded.. To my suprise i was not dead but i was standing up on my feet beside the burning plane without a scratch. I must have managed to hit eject action a fraction of a second before the plane exploded. I was not catapulted up in the air and the parachute didn´t deploy i just sort of teleported out of the plane and ended up on my feet beside it. I was so stunned i started to laugh.

It may not sound so incredible when you read about it but when i experienced it ingame it truly was because everything happend so damn fast.

been there, done that

i once crashlanded a chopper into a forest and lived , how's that for flying skills?

[Commando84 0]

i think most people have crashed or landed the chinook or v-80 or oh-58 upside down or so, but a friend of mine who was kind of new to ofp a year or two ago somehow managed to land the cobra upside down on a mountain and was very happy and shouting BUGG.. it made me like how did you do that?? then i just starrted to laugh , only in ofp ...

[Harnu 0]

Flying around, I found that sometimes trees make excellent emergency brakes. Nothing like going 300-0 in not time at all and receiving no damage.

[Cpt. Bazikian-5thSFG- 0]

we were playing WGL mod and I was driving in a HMMWV, little did I know my teamate in a MTLB was following me. So I head into St. Philippe and make a U-turn and as soon as I get out of the city I see a MTLB (which I thought was enemy at that time) racing towards me comming down a steep hill. So I slam on the breaks and the MTLB plows right into my HMMWV killing me and my AI inside instantly and flipping my HMMWV upsidedown. I watched in horror as the MTLB continued on it's path without a scratch (got to love those OFP armour values) after that incident I was LMAO for about 10 mins laughing and coughing and weezing, and the ZEUS guys on TS could literally think I was gonna choke to death from all my laughter / decapitation.... They were kind enough to offer a call to the local emergency number if they stopped hearing me beathe down the mic on TS like it's up my nose.

[scruffy 21]

Oh, these stories raise some memories. Apart from my great parking skills (parked a fuel truck on the back, pointing straight upwards just recently), which I seem to have in every game, I particularly remember a scene of a little 2 on 2 Match on the small island with the second airport on Nogova.

In the two rounds before my cousin rushed with his car over the bridge to my start point, trying to kill me from the behind again, while his team member guarded the other side of the bridge.

But this time I picked up a LAW and ran to the bridge. I sat down on the sidewalk and spotted my cousin's car rushing towards me.

Man, the two seconds to pull out the LAW lasted forever. I took time to aim exactly and booooooom. While looking through the scope I saw a big explosion and the carwreck sliding towards me, stopping 2cm away from my nose

Another funny thing in the earlier versions was hiding in the water with an AH1. I don't remember when this was, but before RES came out you could land with the AH1 in the water and then come out later without taking any damage. The AH1 was the only chopper to do this.

[The Frenchman 0]

I knew wind affected motar rounds...just not that much. >_<

Erm.....no comment.

>_>

<_<

[Munk 0]

Placing bets on who would get the 'Deploy' option and who would plummet to thier horrible death during a HALO insertion was about the only funny thing that happened during MP, then Hybrid fixed the script

Now its random KLR racing which usually results in the person who's winning being follow by a few hundred rounds.

My crazy Hummer road trips into the center of enemy positions with RPGs and the likes going all over the place.

Playing keep up's with a shotgun and a random person is quite fun aswell

[TeRp 1]

Well, there was that situation in a CTI game I played two days ago or so.

We started near Durdan and didn't get very far (Coop Version) as suddenly the AI attacked with choppers and tanks. 10 minutes and at least 3 attacks later my bro decided to build a leopard 2 tank which I made very expensive.

Just as his leopard appeared another group of hinds attacked our base. I myself got me a vulcan a few minutes ago but didn't notice the attack because I was distracted as my brother began to scream I should engage those damned choppers heading for his leopard.

Well, so I did. I aimed at the next hind and pulled the trigger.

Then, as the hinds rotors stopped I focused on the next one as my brother began screaming again. As I turned around to look what he's up to I saw the hind I shot down heading for the heavy factory. It was a direct hit - destroying the heavy factory, my brother's leopard tank and killing my brother.

Well, my brother immediatley put out the server but those was one of those moments increasing my fun playing ofp.

[Shalashaska 0]

The Egyptian AT soldiers tend to use RPGs ON the player.

So its a minigame. Line of 10 AT soldiers, or more, and I have to run, straft, crouch and go prone to dodge the missles.

[commando9903 0]

Placing bets on who would get the 'Deploy' option and who would plummet to thier horrible death during a HALO insertion was about the only funny thing that happened during MP, then Hybrid fixed the script

Now its random KLR racing which usually results in the person who's winning being follow by a few hundred rounds.

My crazy Hummer road trips into the center of enemy positions with RPGs and the likes going all over the place.

Playing keep up's with a shotgun and a random person is quite fun aswell

Lol i agree the KLR races are beginning to sicken me, I just can't keep those wheels on the ground, and hybrid always whips all of us.

Don't get me started with your hummer road trips.......driving down the hill to saint pierre through a few squads of russian troops. I die and you survive, i come down later to take AT from the hummer and its upside down beside the church......... Then theres the times you drive through walls and somehow i lose my legs, but you're none the worse :P .

Of course I'm no angel behind the wheel myself, I give you the option to hop out first

[Hybrid 0]

I was always liked the times when someone shoots an Mi17 with an RPG, and we run to escape the crash site,

or

When the Armor Pulls up right next to us and we have enough time to salute(Munk D) or WALK to cover