The power

[Espectro (DayZ) 0]

This is a quote from the SWAF forums, originally posted by "Satanic"

------

Saw this on the Net:

The power of the US Navy

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation

of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast

of Newfoundland.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the

South to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees

the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your

course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship.

I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN,

THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED

STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOM-

PANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS

AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT

YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I

SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH,

OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO

ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

[Shunt 0]

 Canadian bacon!

[theavonlady 2]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Espectro @ June 03 2002,18:38)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Saw this on the Net:<span id='postcolor'>

About 7 years ago.

[WKK Gimbal 0]

LOL

[theavonlady 2]

BTW, this story is buba meises.

[SKULLS_Viper 0]

hehe, lighthouse.

[Espectro (DayZ) 0]

ahh, damn... okay okay... Heres another two:

More funnies!

A MANS PERFECT BREAKFAST

You're sitting at the breakfast table...

- Your son's picture is on the cover of Time.

- Your daughter is on the cover of Fortune.

- Your mistress is on the cover of Playboy.

- Your wife is on the back of the milk carton

REDNECK BRIDE

A redneck couple was in bed on their wedding night and were about to consummate their marriage. The wife stops the husband, saying, "Be gentle. I'm still a virgin."

The man is astounded. He has never been with a virgin before. He decides to call his father for advice. "Dad," says the newly-married young man. "My new wife is a virgin! What do I do?"

"Better come on home, son," replies his father. "If she ain't good enough for her own family, she sure ain't good enough for ours."

[Die Alive 0]

POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS FOR WOMEN - 2002

* she is not a screamer or a moaner , she is "vocally appreciative"

* she is not easy , she is "horizontally accessible"

* she has not been around , she is a "previously enjoyed companion"

* she is not horny , she is "sexually focused"

* she does not nag you , she becomes "vocally repetitive"

* she is not a slut , she is "sexually extroverted"

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

~ Between the ages of 18 and 21 , a woman is like Africa or Australia :

she is half discovered , half wild and naturally beautiful.....

~ Between the ages of 21 and 30 , a woman is like America or Japan :

completely discovered , very well developed and open to trade ; especially to countries with cash or cars.....

~ Between the ages of 30 and 35 , a woman is like India or Spain :

very hot , relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.....

~ Between the ages of 35 and 40 , a woman is like France or Argentina :

she may have been half destoyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.....

~ Between the ages of 40 and 50 , she is like Yugoslavia or Afghanistan:

she lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes.....

~ Between the ages of 50 and 60 , she is like Russia or Canada :

very wide and quiet but the frigid climate keeps people away....

~ Between the ages of 60 and 70 , she is like England or Mongolia :

with a glorious and all conquering past but alas - no future.....

~ After 70 , she becomes Albania or Siberia :

everyone knows where it is but no one wants to go there.....

SHE WAS ONLY THE . . .

. . . admiral's daughter, but her naval base was always full of seamen.

. . . bookbinder's daughter, but she knew her way between the sheets.

. . . electrician's daughter, but she lit up half the town.

. . . flag-wavers daughter, But she'd let her standards down for anyone.

. . . photographer's daughter, but she was really developed.

. . . tree feller's daughter, but t'ree fellas were never enough for her.

. . . cattleman's daughter, but she couldn't keep her calves together

-=Die Alive=-

[Tovarish 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Espectro @ June 03 2002,18:12)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">REDNECK BRIDE<span id='postcolor'>

How do you circumsize a Redneck?

Kick his sister in the jaw

[Assault (CAN) 1]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">BTW, this story is buba meises.

<span id='postcolor'>

Damn Avon, you beat me to it.

[Warin 0]

Damn you Avon!

I wasted almost my entire day off reading that site!

It's amazing the dreck that some people will believe. It's also kind of cool to find out not all of those sappy forwards that your dumb friends send, the ones with 'touching' stories are not just fiction.

Then on an entry about Shrub waving at Stevie Wonder, there was a link to Doonsebury... and that ate up the rest of my day. Man, I wish more cartoonists would do what Trudeau has...and put their entire strip online with a searchable index. If Berke Breathed did that for Bloom County, I'd even pay for it!

[Wobble 1]

so old it shits dinosaur bones.

and not real to boot.

[Aculaud 0]

that first one with the US ship and the lighthouse was pretty good. All the redneck ones are pretty bad though.....*shudder*

[Die Alive 0]

What happens to piece of skin after a circumcision?

.mug sa selihpodep ot dlos s'tI  (ass backwards)

-=Die Alive=-