A snipers story: vietnam

[bmgarcangel 0]

Hey guys

I'm creating a real book now.  Here is w hat I got of the story so far.  Its about a Us Army Sniper...i've only just begun on it but i'd like to see what you guys think of it.  I still need to add more interaction in it and more social shit and that will be done soon.  More will also be added on to it!  here is it:

Quote[/b] ]A Snipers Nam

By Bmgarcangel ( Brendan G )

UPDATED STORY ON SECOND PAGE, 4th POST DOWN

[Metalmalte 0]

yeah, looks good. how long did it take to write? how long will the book be?

[bmgarcangel 0]

This all took me about 30 minutes to write on computer

But more will be coming.. at school right now, bell is going to ring! I'll read all your ideas, opinions, supporting comments when I get back!

Peace!

[GoOB 0]

Very good, a few language misses here and there but it happens to all of us. Keep us updated!

May I say very improved since your last story, would like some more conversations and "down time" inbetween the combat sequences though. If your'e writing a book you need alot of that stuff

[bmgarcangel 0]

UPDATED VERSION

Quote[/b] ]A Sniper's Story: Vietnam

By Brendan G. (aka Bmgarcangel)

My eyes skim the brush in front of me as I look for the enemy who is there no doubt about that.  He doesn't see me though so he is waiting for me to make the wrong move which will crown him in a most victorious moment in which he overtook me.  My hands are starting to get tired for I have been lying here for over 2 hours.  Addiction to light up a smoke is getting stronger but still I deny the craving.  I'm worrying now that I will make the wrong move; I'm praying that I don't.

-------------------------------------------------

I arrived in South Vietnam 1 year ago, in late 1965, to serve my first tour.  Being a skilled army marksman they sent me to go along with some Officer and a few Army Regulars to a base in the La Drang Valley where our boys where taking quite a punch from the enemy.  I took my first blood that very night.  

We went on patrol the first night.  We had 13 men in our squad.  I knew at least 5 of them.  Lt. Johnson, Sgt. Albert, Bunny, Tex, and Gardner.  That night a lone Viet Cong walking along a trail with his bicycle full of bullets and explosives, shot in the head by my Bolt-action rifle in the dead of night became the headline of the day.  Standing over him after he had been shot I found pictures of his family and some other personnel belongings hidden within his shirt pocket…just like me I had thought.  Just like me.

In the morning we returned to the base and spent the rest of the day shooting the shit, but all I had to shoot was the one boy I had just killed.  I decided not to brag about him, for it was not necessary, in my opinion.  This one guy, Gardner, the machine gunner in our group, scariest man I ever saw in my opinion...he had the look in his eyes that made him look as if he was a born killer and meant for nothing more then just that.  He kept bragging about how they got into this one battle in the La Drang valley few months ago and how he had killed so many of those Viet Cong.  He told us that when you kill them, you're like killing dunks during hunting season.  We all kind of laughed about that but most of us knew, it wasn't anything like that.  

"So like we're being attacked by like a dozen Vietnamese at this one base in the valley, me and few buddies are like coming back from this one patrol, so we get this view from a-top a hill of the NVA running towards the base, " said Gardner " so we started popping like a dozen at a time down.  Just like when I used to shoot ducks and crap, brings back good memories."

We all look at each other and shake our heads.  Most of us didn't want to be here but hell looks to be like this guy did.  Then he looks at me.

"Hey Parker, why you here?  Trying to perfect your hunting skills too, "Gardner and this one other guy who is drunk as a SOB bursts out laughing.  Oh ya, Parker is my name.

"Well, I figure I don't have anything better to do with my life.  Got out of High School last year and didn't know where else to come so I came to the army in January.  I became an advanced Marksman and after boot camp I was sent here almost right away. " I said.  I looked around at some of the guys, all of us sitting in front of this one foxhole taking a break, having a smoke or two. " If you really want to know, I came here to serve my country.  I had a chance in College but I turned it down because I heard old uncle Sam needs more soldiers to hold of them reds a little bit longer, figure I'm good enough a shot to get them running back home to mommy."

This one black dude murmured the word Amen.  Everyone else agreed with the shaking up and down of their heads.  The one drunken dude then broke out laughing hysterically and all of us turned our head and started laughing with him.  I got up and walked back to my tent for some rest.

Eventually night came and settled upon the jungle.  It was a clear night from what I remember.  The moon and the stars had come out to brighten the surrounding area when we heard from our commanding officer that the NVA had just been spotted around 18:00hrs just a few miles away from our position.  He told us to get ready and to be on the look out for anything.  He sent me up in the tower with a special Night Vision scope and for 7 hours I was on watch, keeping a eye on the Jungle just a mere 900 yards away.

I talked to the other guard up in the tower, a young Vietnamese guy by the name of Vu Chi. He joined the South Vietnamese army a few years ago when he was 17 years old and he hadn't been home in more then 3 years now, in fact, he told me that he probably didn't even have a home anymore.  He had lived near the border between South Vietnam and North Vietnam in a small town but from what he heard via rumors, we had torched his town because of suspected Viet Cong activity and that there was nothing left of it.  So this was all he had left to do, fight for his country.  Nowhere else he could go.  Made me think of myself and how lucky I was to actually have a family, though they were a mere couple thousand miles away on the Easy Coast of the United States.

Around 0100hrs, I finally spotted them.  I called down to the men, told my commanding officer who began to get the men ready, warning them that the NVA were coming.  I kept an eye on the field near us, as it began to swarm with Vietnamese soldiers, all gathering up to make there first run at our defenses.  I grabbed my rifle, took the regular scope off, and set the rather large Night vision scope in its place.  I pointed the rifle towards the field and kept watch on the NVA troops, still gathering up in the field.  After another minute or so I realized that one of the troops had broken off from the main group of NVA.  A Scout.  I watched as he approached our base, I chambered 5 rounds into my rifle and aimed at the man's chest…at 300 yards the Scout stopped, and layed down, grabbed binoculars out of his side pocket, and I took the shot hitting the man in the back, right below the neck.  I opened the loader, which throughout the casing and chambered another round, pointed the gun again and fired another shot into the man, again hitting the man in the chest.  I watched through the scope for a few seconds, to make sure he was dead.  He was.  

A few seconds later I realized that I hadn't kept watch on the larger crowd of NVA just as they were charging past the man I had just killed.  I reloaded and fired at the nearest man, instantly he went down.  It was something to see though, all the men swarming to our base, in a charge.

"Here they COME!" I yelled to the men behind me.  

Almost an instant after that the night flared up with bright light as M16's, M60's, and other guns roared to life.  The man in the tower with me opened fire with his rifle and took down a few men; I turned, set down my Sniper Rifle, and grabbed my CAR-15 that I carried around with me just for occasions like this.  I stood up, and looked out towards the field.  The enemy was attacking the line right in front of us, a machine gun crew working hard to keep the enemy from getting past the line lay right in front of us in a foxhole.  All the guns firing at once lit up the night to make it look as if it was daytime.  I aimed my gun and fired at the nearest targets popping off a few rounds in Single fire mode.  They responded by firing their AK's.  As soon as they went down and I aimed for a few other troops, a bright Yellow flare burst into the air illuminating everything around the base.  A few seconds later I saw the RPG launch a few hundred yards away from the main line of defense.  It hit the supports below the tower and we started to fall to the ground, faster and faster we went as the ground approached us…I grabbed the railing and braced my self just as I caught out of the corner of my eye the young South Vietnamese boy falling out of the tower to the ground below.  Then the tower hit the ground with the sound of a dozen trees falling.  

I heard yelling, foreign voices yelling.  The tower had fallen towards the field and the tower had taken out the machine gun defending this part of the line.  I got up and grabbed my .22 Revolver out of my holster.  Crawling to the nearest opening I saw them coming near me as another machine gun 40 yards away mowed them down.  I exited the destroyed tower and ran back to the foxhole nearest to me just as another swarm of NVA started their attack on our lines.

[bmgarcangel 0]

I know many people are more concerned with other things other than books like Games and making games, etc.,etc.,etc.....but still....people who do have time to read my story, the newer more improved version above me, please give some words on it because I get really tired when I post it up, something that I took a long time on, and no one cares

~Bmgarcangel

Literature is the best thing in the world. One of the best things. Gives knowledge, outlook, and a whole bunch of other shit on life

[Pathy 0]

Just read it, its a definate improvement over your last attempt. I'd like to know what happened to the young S veitnamese guy

I mean, like maybe you could describe his crumpled and ruined body lying broken on the ground, maybe hes still alive but broken his back, and you dont have time to pick him up or carry him

[bmgarcangel 0]

ah...I included this part

Quote[/b] ]Vu Chi lay under a wooden beam through his chest. He was dead.

[DracoPaladore 0]

u Chi lay under a wooden beam through his chest. He was dead.

So, he's laying underneath a wooden beam that he is also impaled to?

I think you're thinking faster than your typing, or vica versa. I suggest slowing down, its a mistake I see alot of people make.

[Billabong81 0]

You have that the men were a few thousand miles from the Easy Coast of the US. I think you mean East Coast.

[GoOB 0]

As I said before a huge improvement over your Korean war story. But it still needs more enviroment descriptions, characters, dialouge and more suspense. Don't be so quick on the action, part of this war and most every war is suspense, boredom and melancholy. But you are on the right track man, keep it up.

Hehe, and literature is indeed a great thing. Especially for your grades in school. If you are able to express yourself in spoken word and in written word there's nothing stopping you from getting top grades.

[Pathy 0]

Im sure its also very easy....

[IceFire 0]

You talk about how the sniper wants to smoke.  

I once read that snipers take smokeless(chewing) tobacco when they go out in the field.

Other than that, it all looks good. Keep it up.

Although I do disagree with one thing. You said literature is one of the greatest things in the world. I disagree.

I feel that literature, unless informative or instructive is one of the biggest wastes of time in the world, next to telivision.

[bmgarcangel 0]

name of my book has been changed to A Snipers Nam

I deleted the part about the urge for smoke already  

*at someone

Quote[/b] ]Vu Chi lay under the tower next to me with a wooden beam through his chest. He was dead.

So a beam is now through his chest instead of the beam ontop of him being through his chest!

I'm only 17 and writing grand readings!

Here is a new part to the story.  Picks off at another part of the end of the updated version of the story above.  Here it is:

Quote[/b] ]

I heard yelling, foreign voices yelling.  The tower had fallen towards the field and the tower had taken out the machine gun defending this part of the line.  Vu Chi lay under the tower next to me with a wooden beam through his chest.  He was dead.  I got up and grabbed my .22 Revolver out of my holster.  Crawling to the nearest opening I saw them coming near me as another machine gun 40 yards away mowed them down.  I exited the destroyed tower and ran back to the foxhole nearest to me just as another swarm of NVA started their attack on our lines.  Two other guys in the foxhole gave me the heads up that

they were coming so I gripped my .22, aimed it at the nearest man and fired just as the

two others opened fire on the approaching NVA.  Instantly two rounds went into this one guy, hitting him in the chest.  Bang, bang…bang, bang…bang, bang…damn I thought to myself, I’m out.  Reaching into my pocket I grabbed a loader that contained six bullets, opened the gun, stuck all the bullets in at once, took the loader away, locked the gun, cocked it, aimed it again at the nearest man.  Pulled the trigger.  A plum of red right in front of me as the man went down.  I saw the mans face, his eyes looking into mine for a brief second…looking into the last thing he’d ever see.  Looking into the man who had just shot him.

That night, 16 men were wounded and 13 were killed in action.  But the NVA lost more men.  As I looked that morning as the sun was coming over the horizon, the field was littered with dead.  I couldn’t but be a little sorry for the men who died out there, even though they are my enemy.  I realized now what most of the men had seen during their tours, that’s probably why a lot of them drank.  Tex came running up to me with this one other guy I hadn’t meant before and told me to get up.  We where to make sure that the area around the base was clear.  Sgt. Albert would lead the patrol, me, Tex, Gardner, and a few other men where chosen to be in the small patrol.  Leaving the base I looked around as we walked across the field, walking over dead bodies of our fallen enemies.  I wondered to myself if we where just going to leave them there or what…no we wouldn’t do that.  The bulldozers would come, so other guys would come, and they would make some huge graves and burry all the dead inside them.  How weird it was that the NVA wasted so many of their soldiers lives in wasteful charges.  I had thought those days where long gone by now, but I guess not.  

As we approached the brush I looked to my right and there he was.  I swung my rifle about frightened as hell but as I looked in the face of the curious opponent I realized he meant no harm.  The deer was merely eating grass and watching us walk by.

“Boy, why you so jumpy?†Sergeant Albert asked me, glaring into my face, trying to find out what I was so scared of though he already knew it.

“I’m not sir…I just thought the damn deer had me there for a second.†I said.

“Well don’t even think about wasting your ammo on those poor bastards.  It’s the ones that carry guns and not hooves that you have to worry about.â€

“Like you Sarg!†Gardner shot back.

Albert turned his head, glared into Gardner’s face as if he was about to run up to him and pounce.  “Yes Gardner, you’d better be worried.  The nam isn’t for smart Asses, so I’d be more careful if I was you.â€

Sincerely,

Bmgarcangel

[Pathy 0]

Reads good

Quote[/b] ]Tex came running up to me with this one other guy I hadn’t meant before and told me to get up.

I think you mean "hadn't met"

But then 'nam isn't for smart asses like me

Oh one more thing, why should Tex tell you to get up, i never knew you were down.......

maybe something like "i lay there in the grass barely daring to move, as the sound of fighting spluttered then stopped....tex came running up to me......"

[bmgarcangel 0]

Quote[/b] ] So here I was, sitting down thinking about all this shit, looking out into the field with the sun rising in the east, looking all the bodies of our fallen enemy. Then I saw Tex running up to me with this one other guy I hadn’t met before and told me to get up. So I got up and he told me we were to make sure that the area around the base was clear. Sgt. Albert would lead the patrol, me, Tex, Gardner, and a few other men where chosen to be in the small patrol. Leaving the base I looked around as we walked across the field, walking over dead bodies of our fallen enemies. I wondered to myself if we where just going to leave them there or what…no we wouldn’t do that. The bulldozers would come and they would make some huge graves and burry all the dead inside them. I heard some guys referring the dirty job to cleaning your room before mommy gave you’re a whooping.

There we go. P.S. The fighting had rally stopped like that night, now its morning :-)

Clean up time before mommy gets there, you don't want to have your room dirty ya know!

[bmgarcangel 0]

Quote[/b] ] My eyes skim the brush in front of me as I look for the enemy who is there no doubt about that. We don’t see each other as of yet but we are both very patient. For four hours we have been waiting, waiting for one of us to make the wrong move. In this game, the one who makes the wrong move is the one who dies first, we both know that. The problem is, I’m starting to get impatient.

"Damn, this guy is good,†I think to myself, “I just hope he isn’t too good.â€

I imagine I have a cup around my eyes, a red lining. I’m straining like hell to keep still. Every move I make I have to make very slowly. Stress is starting to bare down on me. I hope I make it through.

I've updated the begining of the story. Also, anyone willing to be my editor. Remember now, you have to be really good with grammar and such.

~Bmgarcangel

[bmgarcangel 0]

People are complaining about the name of the Lt in the story. Well, Johnson, you can't change names once you are born with em, can you now boys?

~Bmgarcangel

[bmgarcangel 0]

I'm changing the story now as ive read up and watched a movie on Ia Drang Valley. Guess wat movie that is?

Quote[/b] ]A Snipers Nam

By Brendan Michael Gabriel

CHAPTER ONE

Vietnam

My eyes skim the brush in front of me as I look for the enemy who is there no doubt about that. We don’t see each other as of yet but we are both very patient. For four hours we have been waiting, waiting for one of us to make the wrong move. In this game, the one who makes the wrong move is the one who dies first, we both know that. The problem is, I’m starting to get impatient.

"Damn, this guy is good,†I think to myself, “I just hope he isn’t too good.â€

I imagine I have a cup around my eyes, a red lining. I’m straining like hell to keep still. Every move I make I have to make very slowly. Stress is starting to bare down on me. I hope I make it through.

-------------------------------------------------

I arrived in South Vietnam 1 year ago, on November 13th, 1965. I was sent to this one base to join a Platoon that was part of the 7th Calvary. I heard a lot of talk from the guys at the base that some action was being planned for tomorrow. We were going to head off into some major battle. I heard more then once something about an Ia Drang Valley and the name it had earned…The Valley of death. I had 16 men in my Platoon. I knew at least 5 of them: Lt. Johnson, Sgt. Albert, Bunny, Tex, and Gardner.

All that day I sat around with the men from my Platoon, talking, getting to know them.

“Man oh man, I don’t know what we are doing here, ya know. I mean, this isn’t out god damned war for Christ’s sake, “ said Gardner, “ I have a wife back home and I’d sure as hell rather be back there. And then all this talk about this “valley of death†thing, man.â€

We all look at each other and shake our heads. Vietnam was surely hell, a place we all didn’t want to be. Just like Gardner, we didn’t want to be here…hunting men. We also didn’t want to be hunted by other men.

Tex turned his head towards me and said, “Hey Parker, why you here man? Why’d you join up?â€

Parkers my name by the way. “I heard there was a war going on over here so I decided to join up. I wanted to fight for my country if you want to know it nice and straight. All my folks fought in the wars except for the women. I figure, it’s just my turn to fight, just like the rest of the family.â€

“Well, guess you’re like the rest of us. We got a country to serve hey? It’s our job and we’re going to get it done. Then we’re all going to go home and have our selves a beer!†Tex Screamed out loud for the whole base to hear. With that everyone else who heard that around base said “Here, here!â€

The rest of the afternoon I spent talking to Gardner. I got to know him pretty well in that short amount of time. Came from the east coast like me, had a wife, 3 kids, 29 years old, and he'd joined the Army back in 1962 for the same reasons I did, except, the war he expected never happened. Joining during the Cuban missile crises, he thought he would fight against the Russian's. But thank god for him, he never had to do such a thing. The only thing bad about that though; after he joined, found out it wasn't going to happen, he couldn't get back out.

In 1964 he married his high school sweet heart after they had their first child. During the rest of 1964 and 1965 they received two more kids. After talking to him about my life, we went and got some chow. Then he left to go to his bunker to write a letter and I walked over to some sandbag emplacements, sat down and started to think. I glanced at my M16 with its rather large scope attached to the top. If some action was really planned for tomorrow it was going to be hell. A while back the Ia Drang Valley was the place the French came into but never made it out. After that the French never returned and hence afterwards the nickname the Valley of death has stuck. A lot had changed since that time. It almost seems that nothing has now though. If the French never made it out of there, what made us think that we would?

-------------------------------------------------

Vietnam was a horrible place. Complete and utter hell is the perfect way to describe it. High humidity, high temperatures, thousands of attacking mosquitoes, endless tropical forests, rice paddies, and everywhere you looked there were probably two eyes gazing upon you from the dense brush. Waiting, waiting for the opportune moment to catch you off guard. Or at least that’s what the men told me. Besides I had only been here for a total of one day or so. I still had a lot to learn about this place other then those nagging mosquitoes. One thing for certain though; I wouldn’t be going home for a long, long, long time. I missed home and my one kid that I had. I missed all my friends, my comfy bed and my wife sleeping next to me. Eventually night came and settled upon the base. It was a clear night from what I remember. The moon and the stars had come out to brighten the surrounding area when we heard from our CO that we would go ahead tomorrow afternoon and land via our helicopters in the Ia Drang Valley. Landing Zone X-Ray would be our drop off point. We were to go in there and engage and destroy the enemy. To me and the rest of the men, it all seemed pretty straightforward. Wouldn’t be that hard now would it?

I gazed up at the sky thinking to myself what tomorrow would hold. I sat up a little bit and glared at the choppers parked at the other side of the base. I looked to my right at the barracks in which the men slept. Me, I’d chosen to sleep outside tonight, to gaze upon the stars and here nature make its noise. Just couldn’t stand sleeping with a whole bunch of other people. I turned my head again and look at the helicopters. How in the hell could those things possibly fly us to our LZ safely? Remembering the training that we had flying in those things, realizing that we had never actually been under fire. Now I Laid my head back down on my pillow, staring up at the sky and the stars. Being a religious man, I said a little pray to god asking him to protect the men and me as we flew into battle on a flying horse. I eventually fell asleep after I said that pray, having a little peace in mind that we might all make it tomorrow.

[Pathy 0]

Let me guess.....we were soldiers?

Very definately We Were Soldiers.

Btw, i dunno about being your editor but ill try and help you out as much as i can.

Its all reading good so far.

Do me a favour and upload a full version of this somewhere, give out the link, and everytime you update, overwrite this file, so we can check out the whole thing instantly

[bmgarcangel 0]

Ya...kind of, my book is based on that one battle anyhow, I got it all completely wrong the first time ya know so..............

I actually read alot up on it then I watched the movie, WE WERE SOLDIERS

Gave me all I needed to know about it. Remember though, We Were Soldiers didn't have the 200 or so days that the men spent back in "The Valley Of Death", but this book will include that part my friends.

Not to mention a year of this guy over there.

@Pathy

Ya man, does everyone have WORD 2000? Or should I put it up on a site in the old fashion way, with notepad

[Pathy 0]

use RTF or DOC (Rich text format), but may as well steer away from Word, its unneccesary!

[bmgarcangel 0]

What...Doc or RTF??? Aren't those beginner tools? I mean, I never use those. I like Microsoft word 2000...why don't I just post the setup stuff on a website for you all to download free

[Pathy 0]

I have word.....but in the sake of everyones interest, anyone with any kind of tool can use RTF or DOC.

You dont have to write your story in it, just save a version in it and upload......

[bmgarcangel 0]

No doubt....will do homes, wordpad it is then