Wobble 1 Posted April 28, 2002 I was at my grandmother's today.. and I swear that when she farted you could see it like a jet engine wake.. the dog ran into the back yard and rolled around as if trying to de-funk itself.. this was a fart.. unlike any other.. a fart that requires all in the room to take a shower.. a a fart that would kill a small bird.. a fart that requires a call to the EPA... a fart that could cause cancer... can such a fart exist naturally or did my grandma eat something.. unholy.. perhaps a dead body dipped in cottage cheese.. who knows.. all I know is that property values of the entire neighborhood are going to hell... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wobble 1 Posted April 28, 2002 P.S. I just had to share that, i will be bathing in clorox for the next 3 hours if you wonder where I went. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
advocatexxx 0 Posted April 28, 2002 Old people fart without realizing it. Same goes for dogs. They always turn around and smell their ass as if something unusual happened. My great grandmother farted a lot. I never hung around her as all she did was sit on the porch and go to church. Old people smell. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wobble 1 Posted April 28, 2002 LOL, as UN-PC as it is to say, yes they do smell.. almost as bad as they drive, shop and generally get in my way,, LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USSoldier11B 0 Posted April 28, 2002 GWHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is really disgusting. Wobble tell your grandma to lay off the Popeye's chicken and beef brisket. Did it clog your arteries just breathing in the fumes? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LordZach 0 Posted April 28, 2002 just tape a stand clear sign to her ass...if you can get that close without dieing Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tex -USMC- 0 Posted April 28, 2002 LOL... that is the funniest thing I have heard all day Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IceFire 0 Posted April 28, 2002 That's disgusting. I can't stand it when people fart. Especially in my room. If they do I will generally open all windows and doors and try to air out the place with fans. I even tell some people. If you gotta gas, go outside and do it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IceFire 0 Posted April 28, 2002 Infact, if someone does do that in my room, I cannot eat in my room for a whole 24 hours til the place is fully aired out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wobble 1 Posted April 28, 2002 well sometimes its that navy seal fart.. the one you dont know is there untill its trying to compromise your underware.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USSoldier11B 0 Posted April 28, 2002 LOL!!! Interloping farts! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tex -USMC- 0 Posted April 28, 2002 Wobble, have you considered a nice rest home for granny? Between her breath and her jet exhaust farts, I would be looking for one for her Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wobble 1 Posted April 28, 2002 rest home? Â more like a containment unit of some sort.. preferably at the centers for disease control.. Â or maby I could sell her to a 3rd world dictator as a bio-weapons research tool.. Â no soldier could wade into combat through a paint stripper fart such as hers.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tex -USMC- 0 Posted April 28, 2002 Send her to the Yucca Mountain waste storage facility Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USSoldier11B 0 Posted April 28, 2002 Tex, it is too bad that they aborted the Yucca Mountain project. they dumped alot of money into that but stopped building because of some kind of geological problem. I think it might have had something to do with the water table. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tex -USMC- 0 Posted April 28, 2002 They aborted it, but that doesnt mean they still cant send her there Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USSoldier11B 0 Posted April 28, 2002 True, then you can go to Vegas and get really drunk, gamble, and get laid. Sin City is the finest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tex -USMC- 0 Posted April 28, 2002 Some people have a problem with putting radioactive waste in Nevada. Frankly, I cant think of a better place for it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Renagade 0 Posted April 28, 2002 heres what to do.Get a plastic bag and capture ur grans farts until u have concetrated fart in a bag then pop it the vents off the next person that pisses u off Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Assault (CAN) 1 Posted April 28, 2002 </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">rest home? more like a containment unit of some sort.. preferably at the centers for disease control.. or maby I could sell her to a 3rd world dictator as a bio-weapons research tool.. no soldier could wade into combat through a paint stripper fart such as hers.. <span id='postcolor'> BUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, GULP, BUUUUAAAAHAHAHAHA LOL, hold a lighter to her ass next time she lets one rip. To save yourself from burns, attach the source of flame to a yardstick and sneak up on her. Maybe the flame will get rid of the smell? Are there such a thing as ass mints? Tyler Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tex -USMC- 0 Posted April 28, 2002 LOL Assault! omg! LMAO! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Assault (CAN) 1 Posted April 28, 2002 </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">LOL Assault! omg! LMAO!<span id='postcolor'> Are you laughing at what I said? Or at my new avatar? Yes, that's me. Tyler Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USSoldier11B 0 Posted April 28, 2002 </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Are there such a thing as ass mints? <span id='postcolor'> GWHAHAHAHAHA! Or she could get a Listerine enema. Or you could duct tape a gas mask filter to her ass. Tyler, is that current Candian Army issued equipment? It's so.... Vietnam era. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Assault (CAN) 1 Posted April 28, 2002 </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Tyler, is that current Candian Army issued equipment?<span id='postcolor'> No, well, we reservists will get the new stuff before the end of the year. The camo pattern will be the same as the one on the helmet. The regular force guys have all the new stuff now. New Canadian Forces kit. </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">It's so.... Vietnam era.<span id='postcolor'> That's because it is. Hey, it works though....at a distance. Tyler Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USSoldier11B 0 Posted April 28, 2002 Ack! I want that Canadian rucksack. It looks so comfy. We are still using the large ALICE pack in my unit. I swear Audie Murphy used this ruck. Get bruises on my lower back and hips. We also have a black expedition ruck that is more comfortable but only the SF ODA's get them. Of course my unit is very lax and I could build my own ruck and they wouldn't care. One of the 18E's in C Company builds rucks. They are awesome. They guy is so handy. He has designed some bad ass field antennas. Since I spend most of my time in the rear now it's not so important. U.S. Army is moving away from old canteens and switching to Camelbak systems. Do you use these in Canada? Best invention for the grunt to date. I always hated being parched on road marches and having to fumble with a canteen while trying to keep up. Dehydration problems in the U.S. Army have decreased dramatically with the integration of a hands free drinking system. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
