Family guy

[Jester983 0]

Heres one of my favorite quotes from Family Guy.

Peter: "Im going to abuse myself, lets go to dennys."

[Aculaud 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Code Sample </td></tr><tr><td id="CODE">"I'll give you whatever you want! Money! Women!......Men?"<span id='postcolor'>

[IceFire 0]

UCK! Don't ever eat at Dennies. Their meat is aweful.

I remember having their steak or porkchops or something one night like at 2 am with a pal of mine.

Just don't eat there.

[Jester983 0]

LOL

I try to stick away from Dennys as much as possible. (not all are bad, just most )

[Die Alive 0]

Peter Griffin

Police radio: "We have five down and one wounded at the corner of 5th and elm."

Peter: "Is it just me, or is rap music getting lazier?"

Peter:  "So the deal is, I sit through this and I get anal, right?"

LONG PAUSE, AUDIENCE LOOKS IN ASTONISHMENT, LOIS LOOKS FRIGHTENED

Peter:  "No really, I sit through this and you clean the house as much as I want"

Peter: Brian...There's A Message In My Alphabets. It Says Ooooooooo.

Brian: Peter, those are cheerios

"You know those Germans. If you don't join there party they'll come get ya." [102]

"Geez, first he takes my friends, then he takes my job, the way I wear my hat. No, no he can't take that away from me." [105]

"You're not supposed to admire wheelchair people, you're supposed to feel sorry for them!" [105]

"Our own summer house, I feel kinda bad for doing that thing with her toothbrush." [201]

"Your Aunt Margarite is probably laughing at me while she's burning in hell, may she rest in peace." [201]

"Well Lois I tried finding my creativity like you said, first I took an art class...

Am..Am I supposed to draw the penis?

Then I tried sculpting...

Am..Am I supposed to sculpt the penis?

Then I tried music...

Am..Am I supposed to conduct with my penis?

I was starting to think there was nothing that I would be good at, but then I realised that this is it. Lois my penis belongs on stage." [207]

"The grown up in me likes the prospect of fun, but the kid in me is suicidal over what a fat bastard I will become." [211]

Stewie Griffin

"Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb. When you least expect it your uppance will come!" [101]

"At last, victory is mine!" [101]

"It's times like this I wish they used me for Stem Cell Research"  

"Well, well mother, we meet again." [101]

"You know Mother, life is like a box of chocolates [he presents her with a box], you never know what you’re going to get, your life however is more like a box of active grenades! [the box has grenades in it] Now I offer you one last chance for deliverance- return my mind control device, or be destroyed." [101]

"Forecast for tomorrow: A few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom!" [102]

"Hello mother, care to partake in one of your oh-so-exhilarating games of Peek-a-boo?" [104 - Stewie is drunk]

"Ohhh, Is the doggie going bye bye? Quick back up!" [107]

"Oh you clumsy oath, Michael Flately must be turning in his grave, wait a minute he's not dead...yet!" [205]

"What's your email? Mine is loismustdie, all one word, @yahoo.com." [206]

"Ah, the breakfast thing. Yes, it wasn't about the eggs really, frankly I like the yolks, I..I don't..I have no problem, it's, there's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me and it's not so much that I want to kill her. It's just that I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult, and then I think to myself, by god wouldn't it be marvellous if I turned out to be a homosexual." [212]

"...that was another one of your wretched culinary abortions..." [214]

Glen Quagmire

"Huh, Tuesdays in the 80's I was in bed by eight... and home by eleven, O!"[205]

"Whats going on, I was just jerk...ed out a deep sleep" [205]

Quagmire: Hey there sweetie. How old are you?

Connie: 16.

Q: 18? You're first!

Connie: Mom!

Q: I like where this is going....giggidy, giggidy, gig-i-dy!

Q: Hey Meg! 18 yet?

Meg: No.

Q: Hey Chris. [walks away]

(Quagmire at the Lesbian bar)

"Any you ladies ever been penetrated?"

Other Quotes

Ronald McDonnald: You're a McDonald, not a whore!

[Mister Frag 0]

I feel truly sorry for anyone who doesn't know what this thread is about.

You can download several complete Family guy episodes here:

http://www.thefamilyguy.com

[Wobble 1]

my favorite family guy is the one where the cool-aid guy crashes through the wall

[ralphwiggum 6]

i really never liked family guy...too crude....

but here are 2 memorable moments

1.Quahog is destroyed after nuclear bomb hits it, and survivors build new town, New Quahog. somehow, they decided that they need guns, and peter makes guns out of water pipes. ppl get angry, and throw him out. but stewie's eggs hatch, and start killing ppl(Stewie became a mutant)

2.in the beggining of that hallucogenic Frog episode(spoof of Breakfast club), the 2 columbians are talking in spanish, but the subtitles are in korean.

[Die Alive 0]

Meg: "Mayor West? I was hoping to get an interview..."

Mayor West: "How do you know my language?!"

Mayor West: "I love getting rid of malcontents more than I love taffy... And I'm a man who loves his taffy. *bites into taffy* Mm. Mmm. MMMMM-MM. Mmm. Oh-h-h-h-h."

Cleveland: "This is more ridiculous than when we had Ridiculous Day down at the deli. The prices were so low... they were RIDICULOUS."

Stewie: I needn't fear this Santa.  if he were truly omnipotent he'd have the testicular fortitude to show himself!

Stewie: Hello Mother, care to partake in one of your, oh so exhilarating games of peekaboo?

Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!

Stewie: And now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarichal tyranny!!

Peter, Cleveland, Quagmire, and Joe enter new English pub

englishman 1: Evenin, gents. help yourself to a nice warm lager

englishman 2: or a packet of crisps

englishman 3: or a runny nice plum pudding

Peter: HOLY CRAP, ITS A GAY BAR

Perter:  "hey lois, its the two symols of a republican party; an elephant, and a fat white guy who's threatened by change"

Stewie: "Shake me woman, shake me like a british nannie!"

Chris: Dad,, whats the blow hole for.

Peter: Well I can tell you what its not for... And when I do you'll understand why I'm not allowed back at Seaworld

German tour guide to tourist on tour bus

SIE WERDEN SICH HINSETZEN !

SIE WERDEN STILL SEIN !

SIE WERDEN NICHT BELEIDIGEN DEUTSCHLAND !

(translation please?)

Stewie: "Now, clean my crevace, circular motion only, and DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME!!!!"

Stewie: "YOU! Cut my egg! YOU! Cut my milk!"

Butler: "I can't, sir, it's liquid."

Stewie: "Imbecile! You freeze it THEN cut it! YOU TWO! Fight to the death!"

More to come...

[Die Alive 0]

"Holy crip, he's a crapple!"

My favorite of all time.

-=Die Alive=-

[LordZach 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Die Alive @ April 20 2002,06:36)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">German tour guide to tourist on tour bus

SIE WERDEN SICH HINSETZEN !

SIE WERDEN STILL SEIN !

SIE WERDEN NICHT BELEIDIGEN DEUTSCHLAND !

(translation please?)<span id='postcolor'>

something about don't insult germany (according to babelfish)

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (LordZach @ April 22 2002,18:01)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Die Alive @ April 20 2002,06:36)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">German tour guide to tourist on tour bus

SIE WERDEN SICH HINSETZEN !

SIE WERDEN STILL SEIN !

SIE WERDEN NICHT BELEIDIGEN DEUTSCHLAND !

(translation please?)<span id='postcolor'>

something about don't insult germany (according to babelfish)<span id='postcolor'>

You gonna sit down

you will be quiet

You will not insult germany

[Die Alive 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Albert Schweizer @ April 22 2002,11:51)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">1--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (LordZach @ April 22 2002,181)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Die Alive @ April 20 2002,06:36)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">German tour guide to tourist on tour bus

SIE WERDEN SICH HINSETZEN !

SIE WERDEN STILL SEIN !

SIE WERDEN NICHT BELEIDIGEN DEUTSCHLAND !

(translation please?)<span id='postcolor'>

something about don't insult germany (according to babelfish)<span id='postcolor'>

You gonna sit down

you will be quiet

You will not insult germany<span id='postcolor'>

lol, thanks Albert, I guessed it was something along those lines.

-=Die Alive=-

[red oct 2]

peter and his daugther are sitting outside on the front step on their home, a bus labled "Hanson" pulls up and 3 boys w/ shoulder length hair come out

1st hanson boy: hey can we use your bathroom?

peter: HOLY CRAP ITS THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN!

[pulls out double barrel shotgun and unloads on hanson]

then something about where stuey is asking to be shook like a Brittish Nanny, i cant remember how it went

[Grey Fox 0]

Quagmier naked at window: Wow! that was strangly arousing!

*Window clasps down*

*Quagmier picks up phone*

Quagmier: Hello, 911? Yeah it's stuck in a window this time.

[Grey Fox 0]

What about when Peter found out he was part black?

*Officer pulls Peter over for no reason*

Officer: Hey, your the black guy I saw on the news conference ain't ya.

Peter: Uhh yeah that's me.

Officer: This is car 15 I'm going to need back-up. I've got a stolen vehicle here.

Peter: But this is my car!

Officer: Suspect is getting beligerent!

Peter: What!?

Officer: Officer down!

*Officer falls over and pretends to be dead*

*4 police cruisers show up in less than 3 seconds*

[Die Alive 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Red Oct @ April 22 2002,15:58)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">then something about where stuey is asking to be shook like a Brittish Nanny, i cant remember how it went<span id='postcolor'>

Stewie: "Shake me woman, shake me like a british nannie!"

-=Die Alive=-