Get out of my way.

[ChickenHawk 0]

A radio conversation between a US naval ship and a Canadian naval officer off the coast of Newfoundland :

Americans : Please divert your course 15° to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15° to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans : This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again divert YOUR course.

Canadians : No. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Americans : This is the U.S.S. Missouri. We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy. Divert your course NOW.

Canadians : This is a lighthouse. Your call.

[Akira 0]

Right...I'm sure someone in command of the Missouri would do/say that.

Weren't you the one that claimed impartiality and "third party" status in another post. Considering the earlier conversation this joke seems ill-concieved.

[Placebo 29]

That story is like really really really really really old

[Ex-RoNiN 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (placebo @ Feb. 08 2002,00:53)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">That story is like really really really really really old <span id='postcolor'>

i know

i wish ppl could come up with something more intelligent and novel

btw, where are ur flags etc?

[Longinius 1]

Its like really, really fake to.

The original version is better, where the US radio man first explains that they are an aircraft carrier with a fleet of ships surrounding them. It WOULD be cool if it had really happened.

[Dragon 4 0]

heh? you wanna see humor? go to http://www.f-16.net and click the "Humor"!

[Damage Inc 0]

Just an old joke. I've heard it as a different version.

[Placebo 29]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Ex-RoNiN @ Feb. 08 2002,01:52)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">btw, where are ur flags etc?<span id='postcolor'>

Seems like Virtualave are having some server probs at the moment

[red oct 2]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (ChickenHawk @ Feb. 07 2002,23:17)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">A radio conversation between a US naval ship and a Canadian naval officer off the coast of Newfoundland :

Americans : Please divert your course 15° to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15° to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans : This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again divert YOUR course.

Canadians : No. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Americans : This is the U.S.S. Missouri. We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy. Divert your course NOW.

Canadians : This is a lighthouse. Your call.<span id='postcolor'>

bwaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha thats good

[Thehamster 0]

Ahh what is humour coming to these day we something more subtle like this:

On 10 August 1979 a Dargo-Air jumbo jet, flight DAG 4576, from Palma, Majorca, disappeared without trace on a routine flight to Chicago. Speculation as to the cause of the crash was intense and wide-ranging.

Three main theories, however, emerged:

1. The Iraqi ground crew at Sangria International Airport had neglected to replace the tail-section after dismantling it for cleaning.

2. Insufficient fuel was placed in the tanks by the charter company, who were in the habit of admixing the kerosene with three parts in a hundred lucozade.

3. A dispute broke out between plain-clothes FBI sky marshals and armed Israeli security guard who were discussing the merits of Barbra Streisand's performance in the in-flight movie, which culminated in a prolonged gunfight two hundred miles south of Greenland.

No trace, however of either the plane, its passengers or crew was ever found- until 3 weeks ago, when two sole survivors of the disaster, barely able to stand, from the Smokey remains of their lonely ten-month barbecue in the Adirondack Mountains of Canada.

This is a transcript of part of there

conversation with the fight crash investigators:

Survivor 1: The lights came on..."No smoking"..."Fasten safety Belts". Then everything just dropped.

Survivor 2: I blacked out. when I came to...the cold...that was the first thing I noticed. The cold.

Interviewer: I see. Now it was...three weeks, wasn't, before you decided...

S2: Yes.

S1: We...put it off for long as we could.

S2: But of course...f...fu...food...was essential.

S1: I mean... we had several meetings. And it hadn't been a unanimous vote...

I: And who...who took the lead, if that isn't an unfair question?

S2: Oh all of us

S1: But mainly me. I was the hungriest.

I: So, when you'd all agreed?

S1: I went back into the plane. I went inside. I'll never forget it. It was sort of unreal. But I was numbed...you know?

I: I believe you...prayed?

S2: We all did. Before....before...

S1: Yes. We all said grace. It seemed the least we could do.

I: Go on.

S1: So...I had a pocketknife. And I went in. And, I, I brought some back.

I: And what did you eat first?

S1: I... I don't remember.

S2: The gherkins.

S1: That's right it was the gherkins.

S2: Then the individual cheese portions, then the folded piece of ham...which was still....glistening...and still had the little slice of paper on top. And finally, O God, the....puddings.

I: And how did you feel after you'd eaten the airline food?

S2: Awful. Awful. But as we said...it was our only chance.

S1: Yes, I mean we'd already eaten all the passengers.

Damn that took a long time to type.

[Hilandor 1]

lol and too long to read now

[CoolCarlos2002 2]

Us Yanks are to intelligent to let that happen unlike the brits...