second_draw 0 Posted June 1, 2002 revealing her fire retardant implants. Shame she didn't have the rest of her body like that, oh well. The granny on the floor reached into her hand bag and pulled out a grenade. "See you in hell suckers" she yelled out as she threw the grenade... but unfortunetly...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aculaud 0 Posted June 1, 2002 she forgot to pull out the pin! the killer looked at her, chuckled, aimed and fired. there went her head. Then, he bent britney over a table and... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Combat Engineer's 0 Posted June 4, 2002 ( Well Cook said ) i see youv'e fucked up another perfectly good party miller, i remeber last time they let you out the can, the whole sodding aldershot logistics depot went up the shitspout, ....MILLER screams that wasn't my bloody fault I didn't invite the damn arabs to test fire that nuke.... YEAH yeah says cook so YOU say, you must be the only prick i know who can't even go to the crapper without some poor bastard getting there nuts blown off with a grenade..I'M glad no one invites you to the policeman's ball, i could very well just imagine what would happen there ----------> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Combat Engineer's 0 Posted June 4, 2002 bugger don't you hate it when after you post yer reply you figure out it was for the wrong damn set of pages anyhow ...above ties into page 2 . :-) oop's Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Combat Engineer's 0 Posted June 4, 2002 Listen Britney when you hold rifle USE the damn applied marksmanship principle's that's what there there for ( whilst secretly thinking to himself hmnnn with jugs like those going into the prone position is going to be somewhat problematic, perhaps the guys at the armourer's can increase the length of the bipod legs so the silly bitch can see through the scope without the barrel pointing at the ground ) yes love there that's much better you have to hold the weapon like it's your best friend and remember not to look in the pointy end when it's got lots of nasty little 7.62mm's ready to pop out Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the nothing 0 Posted June 4, 2002 ... when a masked man jumps out of nowhere and screams, "7.62?! NEVER! 9mm FOREVER! HAHAHAHA!" He runs forth, but trips on the dead granny and his mask falls off, reavealing him to be... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nordin dk 0 Posted June 4, 2002 Abe Lincoln! "So", said Abe, "4 score and seven years has gone since I last... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenHawk 0 Posted June 4, 2002 Since I last saw those Porn pictures I hid, has anyone seen them lately? Just then the old grandma had begun to melt as she had died near the log fire. Just like the scene out of Terminator she melted into a puddle and all the little droplets started to merge together with the Chocolate Model of the Easter Bunny that had also melted. A strange form started to rise from the puddle to make..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aculaud 0 Posted June 5, 2002 .......An elderly!......Chocolette!.......Easter.........Grandma!.........Rabbit!! The thing spoke! It said...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the nothing 0 Posted June 5, 2002 ... "I AM THE LEADER OF THE OF THE ALL POWERFUL ALIEN RACE, THE BUNNIANS! TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" Just then... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aculaud 0 Posted June 5, 2002 .....*MUNCH* "Hey! Shes made of chocolette!" The killer yelled. "Everyone dig in!". Hordes of people rushed to the chocolette grandma and ate her! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the nothing 0 Posted June 5, 2002 Then, they all started to cough. They all said they felt something painful in their chests, and all of a sudden, Choco-Bunnian-Chest-Bursters came out of them! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenHawk 0 Posted June 5, 2002 They were screaming. 'WHATS INSIDE MEEEEEE?' As the Choco-Bunnian-Chest-bursters tore out of their ripcage and wrecked havoc among the innocent people standing around the airport. Meanwhile Alestair was still waiting for his associate to rounde-vouz with. He had seen scenes like this many times before in London, it was just your usual Saturday Night. He eventually got fed up and decided to hail a taxi. Alestair spotted a classic black London cabby driven by a solitary Beaver and waved for it to stop. What Alestair hadnt noticed was the strange rocket boosters attacked to the rear of the cab and the 'Jesus Loves me' bumper sticker. He opened the door and got in the cab. Take me to ....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aculaud 0 Posted June 5, 2002 ........."Topless! Topless! Topless!" he said. The beaver sped off and hit the highway. incredibly enough..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tnerb 0 Posted June 6, 2002 .............then the world was demolished by neo-nazis who bought an a-bomb on the black market. good story eh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenHawk 0 Posted June 6, 2002 That could have been one of the consequences had the mutant chest buster thingies allied with the neo nazis to sell them the bomb in the first place. However they were not good friends and the Mutant Chest Buster things had sold them a dud which actually only ended up killing the nazis. The Beaver recognized the password Topless and knew that this must be his contact. He hit the magic button on the gear lever and the rocket boosters growled into life. A traffic cop doing laser speed checks never knew what it was that caused the laser to explode and kill him. The destination turned out to be somewhat exotic.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Combat Engineer's 0 Posted June 6, 2002 yeah exotic he thought as the bloody cab landed with a thump in ibiza ....( shit n damnnation ....of all the places this rocket powered cab could have taken me to, the bloody beaver decides on ibiza)... WHO the hell want's to come here he thought ? ....moneypenny & q & M have a lot to answer for when i get back ....( meanwhile the beaver is getting rather pissed of cos james seems to be somewhat shy of $10'000'000 for the replacement rocket packs the beaver needs for the cab ) .....the beaver pulls out a H&K 76 caseless..and points it at james head & say's ...listen up pal ..whizzing around the arse end of soho on a saturday night & not getting a fukn tip for it is one thing ...BUT pissing away a few million on my cabs rocket packs JUST because you decide you want somewhere exotic is entirely another ..now you better get the money pronto ..( james thinks this beaver must be bloody nuts ......) HOW in the hell am i supposed to instantly make $10'000'000 appear you dickhead ? ..... ) the beaver just smiles & says try using that mi5 comsat / atm teller gizmo that q gave you before we left london ......) so james says the good old tax payer's ain't going to cover this expense ? ......beaver---> NOT the way you write of cars / bike's / boats ect ect .....you useless bastard ....if it were up to me i wouldn't even give you a job cleaning the bog's in mc'donald's....NOW quit stalling & hurry up with the cash .....james---> Why the rush ? it's not as if you got anything to do in this shithole ( ibiza ) & THAT YOU decided to land here why here of all places ? why not monaco ?? i like monaco...beaver----->listen shit 4 brains i landed here because 1 the piss is cheap 2 the tarts are even cheaper & 3 BECAUSE your next contact is here ...NOW give me the money before i get seriously pissed off and blow your useless head off .....besides i need to have a crap .....james---> ok OK don't get your knicker's in a knot here's the money & by the way WHO is my next contact ...beaver---> how the fuck should i know ? i just drive the cab pal ..anyway im off for a dump and to get shitfaced at the nearest bar ....i suggest you try looking in one of the bars aswell ...try looking for a chick called -------> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aculaud 0 Posted June 6, 2002 Heather Ideepthroat. She lives around these parts somewhere in..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Combat Engineer's 0 Posted June 6, 2002 slack herb's bar'n'grill ......yes thought james i remeber heather ( skanky bitch ) & that cheap arsed bugger herb and his dump of a bar, SO ? heather is the contact ( james reflects on a past encounter with her -- Thats right cairo in 87 she screwed the entire egyptian garrison, and did that weird trick of sucking the chrome of a truck bullbar at 50 meter's without even using the hosepipe....damn but she's got some bigg ass lips ...) WELL i certainly hope she don't do anything unatural this time ...( refects again -- that thing with the 3 goats & 2 donkeys was pretty gruesome ) .......james meets heather in herb's bar'n'grill ....and invites her to have dinner ( 2 extra greasy kebab's & something that looks like chips ..can't tell with all the axle grease on them .....) OK heather spill the beans whats the gen from M ?? ...heather opens her mouth and the entire bar's selection of mixed nut's comes pouring out ....umnn coff choke''' errr i think m mentioned something about bahrain ?? ......or was that bristol ?? i never quite can tell one from the other .....James thinks ......shit stupid bitch now do i go to bloody bahrain or back to the uk & bristol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
second_draw 0 Posted June 7, 2002 ....The gay terrorist came to and saw the ceiling. THe other terrorists where kicking him and trying to make him stand up and telling him not to blow the cover. "I'll sue those imperial scum", he thought to himself, they weren't pain-relief tablets, they were LSD tablets. The gay terrorist looked around noticing some men in trenchcoats with what it looks like shotguns under thier coats and an old granny packing a smith'n'wesson pistol... the usual riff raff. All of a sudden the gay terroist heard a <cough>let's try this again without beavers<cough> but couldn't make out the message properly The gay terrorist had a sudden wave of Deja vu, the disney mascot was packing a 9mm pistol! so the gay terrorist leapt into the air and..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the nothing 0 Posted June 7, 2002 ...was promptly shot by the mascot and fell to the ground unconscious. The mascot was then smothered by an incredibly fat terrorist. Soon, the local PD (Police Department) came about and... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nordin dk 0 Posted June 7, 2002 one of them had a huge booger hanging by a small thread in his right nostril. Just as he was about the pick it and roll it into a little ball, a hummingbird flew in front of him, hovered an inch in front of his nose and ate it. Then Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
second_draw 0 Posted June 8, 2002 died instantly from an unknown cause. The msacot picked up the gay terrorists ak47 and shot.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the nothing 0 Posted June 8, 2002 ... the fat terrorist, who then loses all his weight like a balloon loses air, and then... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Renagade 0 Posted June 16, 2002 ...these guys ---><--- burst out from within the deflated fat terrorist and kick the mascot in the nuts,grab the ak-47 and.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
