Letter of recommendation

[Placebo 29]

This might be made up but still rather funny (apologies if it's old, it's new to me )

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(An actual letter sent by a fed up U.S employee in Port Huncliff, New

England)

Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very

basic expectations.

Chief among these is that my direct superior shares an intellect that ranges

above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying

harassment of myself, and my co-workers during the commission of our duties,

I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our

time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of

everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a

waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I

know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to

myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the

concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as

binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why

people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I

am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your

shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the

building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a

sharp-dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your

interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on

overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring

ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae

that everyone else eats and laughs at.

Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this

situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy,

I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting points.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give

me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to

comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of

years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on

your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every

password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I

am going to publish your favorites list", which I conveniently saved when

you made me "back up" your useless files. I believe that terms like "Lolita"

are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers

b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of

yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the

techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd

acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and

kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of

recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct

your damn mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my

desk by 80 am tomorrow, not ONE minute later. One word of this to anybody

and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the

public. Never f*ck with your systems administrators, because they know what

you do with all your free time.

Sincerely,

Ted Brewer

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[Damage Inc 0]

LOL

This must mean that even placebo is human

[Thehamster 0]

LOL

[Black Op 0]

yeha, umm amusing

[Guest]

Wheres teh funneh?

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

Anyway, who is to blame for having hired such a looser. Secondly does this company seem to have great athmosphere and team thinking (not!. In my interpretation is there much more wrong than an incompetent employee.

[Black Op 0]

yeha, me couldnt find it either?

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

Nice signature you got there Black Op. Is it some kind of provocation. Tell me if it is!

[FallenPaladin 0]

Guess it`s a rude quote from a US Soldier in WW2, but as signature not very funny...

[Black Op 0]

sorry it offended you

[Albert Schweitzer 10]

Wow, thank you very much! You must understand, I was just curious!

[Stealt Eagle 1]

This reminds me of Dilbert SO MUCH, love that cartoon

[Black Op 0]

yeha,ummm great

[Damage Inc 0]

As great as a big shiny piece of gold.

[Stealt Eagle 1]

Like can u say anything else today, black

[Black Op 0]

*cries*

[Stealt Eagle 1]

*laughs*, realizes that I've hurt black deeply, *cries*

[Thehamster 0]

Ahh it is so emotional in this thread

[Snake1999 0]

LoL,, I've been thinking about writing such a letter myself....

Placebo,, I got some pictures of you, and I think you don't want 'em to get public... (I'll just send you a PM of my demands).

w00t?