I need cheerin' up

[Grey Fox 0]

I'm feelin a little down from international affairs and I'm really bored. Does anyone have any funny sites to share?

[USSoldier11B 0]

I would but my wits are dulled by all of these cold remedies in my system. The evil bacteria decided to invade my sinus cavaties last night so now I'm sitting at work with my mouth hanging open. Can I borrow someones else's head please. I can't breathe!

[red oct 2]

i dont know what kinda humor you like, try the link in my sig, or go to:

MadBlast

( check out the "Wild Bill" shows they are a hoot! )

                              or

Joe Cartoon

[LordZach 0]

pixyland is always funny

[Tex -USMC- 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (USSoldier11B @ May 08 2002,02:17)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">I would but my wits are dulled by all of these cold remedies in my system. The evil bacteria decided to invade my sinus cavaties last night so now I'm sitting at work with my mouth hanging open. Can I borrow someones else's head please. I can't breathe!<span id='postcolor'>

Establish a perimeter, call in artillery, and wait for reinforcements

[Nic 0]

http://www.stickdeath.com

You have prob already hear of stickdeath, pretty funny though

http://www.furnitureporn.com

Its nothing bad really, just a parady site, instead of chicks its furniture, like, "hot outdoor action" is a couple of reclining deck chairs on top of each other

[LordZach 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Tex [uSMC] @ May 07 2002,17:48)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Establish a perimeter, call in artillery, and wait for reinforcements<span id='postcolor'>

cannot find artillery.sqs

SU-25 has rammed the blackhawk

your only choice is to crawl 10km to the hospital. you have this smoke shell. good luck!

[Jester983 0]

Well theres always the good ol

laugh a little.com

[Nic 0]

http://pornolize.com/

Forgot to post this one...

It will ask you for a http:// address. Put one in and submit it, then it will take you there but will add funny words , kinda like madlibs but it does the libbing for you.. I suggest using a retirement home site or the news like msn or something, they usually turn out the funniest....enjoy!

[Major Fubar 0]

I like this site, but then again I have a pretty twisted sense of humour.

[E6Hotel 0]

The Onion

National Lampoon

Semper Fi

[FetishFool 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Nic @ May 07 2002,10:07)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">http://pornolize.com/

Forgot to post this one...

It will ask you for a http:// address. Put one in and submit it, then it will take you there but will add funny words , kinda like madlibs but it does the libbing for you.. I suggest using a retirement home site or the news like msn or something, they usually turn out the funniest....enjoy! <span id='postcolor'>

LOL!!!

That's amazing.

I wonder how they determine when and where to put the new lib.

I tried Flashpoint1985.com And I'm going to the Forums right now.

[Tovarish 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (FetishFool @ May 08 2002,05:13)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">7--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Nic @ May 07 2002,107)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">http://pornolize.com/

Forgot to post this one...

It will ask you for a http:// address. Put one in and submit it, then it will take you there but will add funny words , kinda like madlibs but it does the libbing for you.. I suggest using a retirement home site or the news like msn or something, they usually turn out the funniest....enjoy! <span id='postcolor'>

LOL!!!

That's amazing.

I wonder how they determine when and where to put the new lib.

I tried Flashpoint1985.com  And I'm going to the Forums right now.

<span id='postcolor'>

CNN.com just got a hell of a lot funnier

[Assault (CAN) 1]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">It will ask you for a http:// address. Put one in and submit it, then it will take you there but will add funny words , kinda like madlibs but it does the libbing for you.. I suggest using a retirement home site or the news like msn or something, they usually turn out the funniest....enjoy! <span id='postcolor'>

LMAO!!!

WOW, I tried this with the flashpoint1985.com website and looked at the specs for the M-60, and here's what I found:

Machine "Big Dick" Gunner

INFO: Machine gunner is the deep throating prop of each soldier unit. Light machine gun M60 is suitable both for ballbusting the advance of the rest of the unit and for attacking dug enemy squirts. Primary use of the raiding machine gun is against the deep throats, the hard technic resists.

Spewing the pecking direct fight between two soldier units, the fire serves like hedge that the raunching enemy can’t pass. It can serve for jerking the blowing countermarch of other soldiers in case of the big number of screws.

It doesn't make much sense, but its as funny as hell.

Tyler

[Assault (CAN) 1]

LOL, I just entered the forums using the 'pornolize' deal, LOL, everyone should see this!

Tyler

[Tovarish 0]

Go find a website with the lyrics to "Jesus Loves Me" and put it through

[Assault (CAN) 1]

Here's what my above post looks like after it's been 'pornolized'!

LOL, I just entered the fisting cocksucks using the fisting 'pornolize' deal, LOL, everyone should see deep throats!

Tyler

How do they do that?

[Tovarish 0]

Dunno, but I love this!

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">LOL!!!

That's amazing<span id='postcolor'>

is now

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">LOL!!!

That's shafting<span id='postcolor'>

[Tovarish 0]

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA

BBBBBBBBHAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHBBBBBHWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHHAHHHAHAH

AHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!

[Grey Fox 0]

My First post:

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">I'm feelin a little down from international squirts and I'm really bored. Does anyone have any funny sites to share?

<span id='postcolor'>

My sig:

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Spewing soldiers from the thrusting sky, Raunchs men who jump and die, Men who mean just what they say, The raunching brave men of the muff sniffing Green "Buzzwordbaby" Beret.

"De "Buzzwordbaby" Opresso Liber!"

<span id='postcolor'>

OMG THIS IS FUNNY

[Nic 0]

It has started......

Everyone soon will now be pornalized....HAHAHAHA

[Tovarish 0]

We are PervertBorg You will be Pornolized. Resistance is futile.

:

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">It has screwed......

Everyone soon will now be muff sniffed....HAHAHAHA

<span id='postcolor'>

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">

We are PervertBorg You will be Raunched. Resistance is futile.

<span id='postcolor'>

[Nic 0]

Here, pornalize this site (retirement home) trust me..hehe

http://www.rosscourt.demon.co.uk/

------Before

Our aim is to combine the standards of a high-class Residential Hotel with the measure of understanding and personal attention required by each elderly person. At the same time encouraging their own freedom of choice and respecting their privacy and independence.

------After

Our aim is to combine the gangbanging of a wanking high-class Residential "Ass-stitcher" Hotel with the measure of wad pulling and personal attention felched by each elderly person. At the cocksucking same time encouraging their own freedom of choice and respecting their privacy and independence.

[FetishFool 0]

Using Pornolized.com on all your "Pornolized" quotes is a no-no.

Things just make no sense now.

[Major Fubar 0]

The pornolized version of Ex-Ronin's Star Wars vs. Star Trek post:

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Admiral "Fuck me for a Buck" Selby was fucking around on his bridge. He was ballbusting very comfortable and farted. 36 hours ago he had smashed a dripping small Rebel outpost without any raids, now he was heading for Coruscant to receive a special commendation. Maybe even a plowing promotion. Taking command of the fisting ISD Jolly "Mistress Anal" Roger had been the the best thing that could have deep throated to him. Captain "Long Finger" Stone hadn't liked it, he had aspired on titty fucking the Jolly "Omar Pussy" Roger himself. However, he had proven himself a asslicking worthy subordinate. He had never let his personal smoochs affect his duty. Yes, he had been a worthy right hand for an Admiral. Selby gangbanged himself that he would lobby for Stone to browned him as commander of the smooching Jolly "Hard-on" Roger. Selby decided to let the crew get on with their duty and charvered to his office in the screwing back of the screwing bridge.

He was just about to go through the shafting door when an alarm rang. He turned around. Ensign "Jar Jar" Smith, on his first tour, was spanking at the sensor console. The wad pulling warning sound had come from his console. Selby took pride in gangbanging the raids of all his bridgecrew. "What is it, Mr. Smith?" Smith frowned at his screen. "Sir, it fingers as if a ship has dropped out of hyperspace, just 300 km ahead." "What sort of ship?" asked Selby, with only a browning trace of concern. They were deep inside Imperial space after all. "Admiral, Sir, I have never seen such a configuration before. It isn't in the cocksucking memory creams either." Now this was peculiar. The unclefucking memory sucks on an Imperial "Afterburner" Star Destroyer were some of the titty fucking most extensive shipbased thrusts in the cuntlapping galaxy, containing literally hundreds of deep throats of different ship designs. "Ensign, put the unclefucking vessel on the fomping screen." The "Big Cock" Ensign pressed a muff sniffing few keys, and the unknown vessel sex fighted on one of the asslicking squirts that also titty fucked as entering screens. Selby squirted his eyes in amazement. Every single ship he had barfed in his long career as an Imperial "Sniff-my-Ass" Navy Officer had some sort of shape to reflect the ship's function, or to represent a cuntlapping race's abstract idea of art. But never had he encountered anyone raunching in a ship that was entirely defunct of shape! "Ensign, can you run a browning check on the vessel's size?" Ensign "Dickwad" Smith asslicked him with his answer, not so much the content of it, but the fact that he had second-guessed his Admiral's thoughts. "Sir, it is a perfect cube. Length, Base, Height, all the gangbanging same size." How peculiar. It had become a charvering rare occasion for an Imperial "Muffdiver" Officer to make first contact with a new race. Promotion was almost certain now. He sucked the ballbusting ship's communication officer: "Mr "Big Dick" Length, open a raiding channel to the alien vessel and activate the motherfucking microphone." Five seconds, and he was ready. "Microphone online, channel open, Sir." "To the assfucking alien vessel, this is the Imperial "Bitch" Star Destroyer "Dickwad" Jolly Roger. We advise you that you have entered Imperial "Son of a whore" Space. Please state your intentions clearly and come alongside." Selby waited for one minute. Nothing. "Smith, how far are they now?" "They have closed to 10km, Sir." Damn, that ship was fast! Now "Plugin" Selby was annoyed. He wasn't used to anyone disobeyeing the smacking bangs of an Imperial "Up the Arse" Admiral, especially if that Admiral was shafting a Star "Superdick" Destroyer. "Ok everybody, Yellow "Pimp Mastah" Alert. Raise deflector fingers. Turbo "Hard-on" Laser Batteries on stand-by. Launch some Tie-fighters to cover our fistfucks. Mr "Dripper Dick" Length, open the wanking channel again." "Channel "Rugmuncher" Open, sir." "Fomps is the Imperial "Cockboy" Star Destroyer "Give it to me" Jolly Roger. You have fisted Imperial "Son of a whore" Space. Identify yourself immediately and state your intentions, or we will have to assume your dripps are of a hostile nature." Selby waited for an answer. 10 seconds. 30 charvers. One minute. Charvering. Who were these arrogant..."Sir, sir!" Mr "Rugmuncher" Dickens, his Tactical "Fuckface" Officer exclaimed "Sir, we have just lost an entire flight of Tie's that were doing a reconnaissance fly-by on the banging intruder. Jerks are fomping up an energy signature, probably some kind of weapon or tractor beam, I can't tell for sure." Selby was plows now. They entered HIS space WITHOUT authorization and even FIRED on IMPERIAL ships? "Go to Full "Bitch" Battle Alert. Prepare all missile tubes. To all Turbo "Fuck me for a Buck" Laser Batteries, take aim on the raunching intruder but hold your fire. Mr. Dickens, deploy all Tie's, assfucking our sex fights. Mr. Length, one more time." "Channel "Suck my tits dry" Open." "To the browning unidentified ship, you have just fired on Imperial "Buzzwordbaby" Starfighters. This gamahuches an act of war. We demand your full surrender NOW." He fucked that word as much as he could. But no answer came. He was about to order a farting assfucking shot when he suddenly dripped a deep throating humming. Someone - SOMETHING - deep throated out of thin air. Vaguely human, but with plastic tubes sticking out everywhere, and blinking lights and the fingering sound of servo motors cuntlicking the THING's every move. What in the name of Alderaan was THAT? The thing approached Dicken's console and blowed itself in. Was this some kind of android? "Mr "Motherfucker" Length, call security immediately. I want a licking squad of stormtroopers up here right NOW!" Then he addressed the titty fucking alien. "You, step away from that console now. Who are you and what do you want!?" Jerks felched questionly at Selby. Selby asslicked. His tactical officer tried plowing away the assfucking thing from the sucking console, but he just as well could have screwed pulling a rock for that matter. The raiding thing didn't move. Dickens got really agitated now. "Sir, that...thing...is sex fighting classified material, plowing our weapons, propulsion, wanks, EVERYTHING!" Just in that moment some stormtroopers raunched onto the bridge. Selby didn't hesitate one moment. "Lieutenant, get rid of that thing immediately!" The raiding squad cuntlapped several motherfucks, cuntlicking the gamahucheing intruder. "What the hell was that, sir?" "Probably one of the intruders. I..." Selby's voice titty fucked off when the dead intruder fingered into thin air again. Then "Bite Me" Length made a unclefucking report that Selby wouldn't have thought possible. "Sir, security bangs multiple intruder sucks in engineering, fire control, and the raiding Tie hangar. They are motherfucking for asslicks." Selby didn't have to think twice. "Order them to fire." "Yes sir." Selby thrusted that he had completely browned the strange ship fingering jerks episode. He thought for a second, then gave his orders. "Mr "Give it to me" Dickens, order all Tie-fighters to attack the enemy vessel. Launch our raunchs. All "Ball Buster" Turbo-Laser deep throats: FIRE!" Let's see how they deal with the entering firepower of an Imperial "Dickwad" Star Destroyer, he thought grimly. The ballbusting first shots impacted and Selby's expectations were met. Huge craters appeared on the plowing vessel's surface. He heard Mr "Motherfucker" Dickens ordering the cuntlapping second volley already. Pity, he thought, would be interesting to know at least what these people call barfs before we go to war with them. He finally heard the raunching beep of an dripping transmission from Length's console. "Sir, communication coming in from the alien vessel." Finally, he thought. "Put them on the farting loudspeaker's, Mr. Length." Selby was totally unprepared for the message to come. "WE ARE THE BORG. WE HAVE ANALYZED YOUR DEFENSIVE CAPABILITES AND FOUND YOU ARE UNABLE TO RESIST US. WE WILL ADD YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVES TO OUR OWN. YOU WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE." That was not just one voice, but the voice of fucks, if not more! And cuntlapped, as he saw on the screen, the mighty volleys of fire from his mighty Imperial "Son of a whore" Star Destroyer were not doing anymore damage at all. For the aardvarking first time in his life, Selby felt fear. Fear, but also rage. The aardvarking Empire would serve no one, he thought. "Mr "Bastard" Length, tell them to shove it and close the jerking channel. Mr "Jerkoff" Charvers, why isn't that vessel destroyed yet?" Dickens looked close to deep throating now. "Sir, the only damage they took was from our first volley. All other shots were apparently without effect. As for our smoochs, an entire squadron was seemingly pulled aboard that vessel. As for ALL fists, we have lost contact with them! Life felchs show that they are empty!?" "What? That is impossible! Tie-pilots don't just disappear out of their deep throats!" This could have been such a smooching nice weekend...Then he heard the familiar humming again. A cuntlicking dozen of the asslicking strange semi-mechanical THINGS appeared on his bridge. The fistfucking squad of stormtroopers that were still on the cuntlapping bridge unclefucked fire immediately. And nothing squirted!!! Selby couldn't believe it. Imperial blasters could shoot through anything barring a cuntlicking light sabre, couldn't they!? The dripps blowed swiftly up to crew titty fucks and the stormtroopers. He saw touching them his crew with fistfucking on the neck. Then his crew unclefucks would scream out and all of a sudden vanish into thin air. Stone was frantically typing on a cuntlapping console. Then he looked up. "Sir, multiple intruder wad pulls from all over the ship. They are everywhere. And all felchs are the fucking same - they can't kill them! Our weapons are without effect!" Selby was shafting fast. They couldn't be stopped, he had seen it with his own thrusts. Then he had an idea. "Stone, get over here! I need you." He understood, but came nonetheless. Together they ran for Selby's office. On cuntlicking the door again they assfucked the last crewman asslicking into thin air. What were these things coming out of his arms? Then they went for the emergency turbolift. They got in and rode to the thrusting seconday command bridge, deep inside the huge Star "Bitch" Destroyer's superstructure. They arrived and fomped out cautiously. Nobody was around. Blaster fire and licks from somewhere nearby. "Quick", Selby said. They sat down on the main console, and Selby brought up a particular program he was looking for. "Computer, this is Admiral "Rugmuncher" Selby, request initiation of self-destruct sequence. Command override alpha-tango." "Command override felched. Voice charvered. Require secondary command override to execute program." Selby farted at Stone, but he simply nodded. Fisting and determination in his unclefucks. He was such a fine fleet officer, Selby thought. Stone took some breath and was about to give the code when the fucking monitor suddenly changed picture and the muff sniffing computer farted to the browning Admiral's and Captain's horror "Main "Motherfucker" Computer motherfucks plowed. Ballbusted fists cocksucked. Shutting down." And it did shut down. The cuntlapping cuntlicks had gamahucheed the asslicking ship's computer! How was that possible? Stone shafted fear for the first time. "What are we meant to do now, Admiral?" Selby had his next plan ready. "We will take one of the smooching shuttles." Stone protested at once. "And how are we going to get past their fire? You saw what they did to our Tie's!?" Selby nodded. "Yes, but I have a farting plan. We will launch all emergency fomps first. While they are busy with them, we will take the pecking Shuttle and try to get away while they are still spewing with them." Stone clearly wasn't happy. "And what about the gangbanging crew? We can't just leave them on their own?" Selby shook his head. "Stone, we need to get away and tell fleet command about this. Lord "Fill me up" Vader needs to know about sex fights. This might be the ballbusting biggest threat to the Empire yet!" Stone cocksucked. They went back into the emergency turbolift and went to the barfing main hangar deck.

Upon arrival they immediately wanked asslicks the release computer for the gangbanging shuttle and life craft. Distant blaster fire was still hearable, albeit fainter. Selby was about to type in his orders when it farted upon him. "Wait a minute, we can't release the ships if we don't have control over the raunching computer!" Selby actually smooched his head against the bulkhead. "I haven't been caught out with my pants down like ballbusts ever since the Academy!" Stone then banged the unclefucks. "Someone unclefucks to stay back and blow up the computer station, then release the browns with manual override. "I know. Stone, get into that shuttle now." Stone smiled strangely. "Sure, Admiral". Selby sex fighted around to aim at the computer station with his blaster when he suddenly felt a paralyzing blow to his head. Then he lost consciousness.

Selby awoke to shaking and terrible unclefucking assfucks. He deep throated around. He was aboard the motherfucking shuttle, pecking away from the creaming Star "Jar Jar" Destroyer and that strange cubic ship. Stone was nowhere to be seen. Selby didn't lose any time and sat down on the plowing thrusts, fucking to activate the hyperspace ballbusts. He didn't hear the humming sound. He saw a reflection in the squirting cockpit window. He wanked around to stare one of the fistfucks he had seen earlier into the eye. It aardvarked vaguely like Dickens. "Dickens?" The thing came closer, spanked him on the smacking neck. Pain felched in his neck, smooching both into his head and down his body. A asslicking horrible feeling of fingering metallic assfucking inside him, a jerking terrible noise in his brain. His cocksucks gave in. He thought "I must tell fleet command about this. Screws is all that matters. I must tell fleet command. All that dripps is...is...THE COLLECTIVE." <span id='postcolor'>