I have tried all of that including the disabling of firewalls, it's not a filter issue; as I said we tried direct IP as well as using the server browser with all filters turned off, it isn't a port forward issue as Arma 2 works fine while using the same port, we even tried hamachi which eliminates the need for port forwarding.
I did get the guy I'm trying to play with to check all of this himself but the issue may still be on his end, I'll get him to double check everything.
Thanks for the help.