Recently switched computers. Arma doesn't like it.

[dreadedentity 278]

I finished building this PC about a month ago and I cannot install Beta Patch 103718 (through DayZCommander). I haven't tested regular multiplayer, just DayZ Mod, because since =7Cav= took their Realism servers down to switch to Arma 3 the only games running are Wasteland and I don't care much for Wasteland. Anyway I'll start off by explaining what I've done, and then the end result.

First I open DayZ Commander (as administrator) and click install for the Beta Patch. Once it downloads I see this:

I click yes and then see:

and immediately after:

I click yes again now here's the problem:

Now there's no choice but to click OK, but this is hidden in the back and it doesn't snap to front when you do click OK:

So I'm thinking, "Alright. Let's play."

I try to join a random DayZ Server and it loads, then says "Connecting Failed." and kicks me back to the menu. Yes, I am trying to connect to a server running the same mod (Epoch).

Notes:

I bought through Steam.

I have run both Arma 2 and Arma 2 OA to complete instillation.

I have set DayZ Commander to launch as administrator.

I have rebuilt Steam.

I have verified files in Steam. One file fails to authenticate and gets downloaded again (both Arma 2 and OA). Multiple verification yields identical results.

I have run Steam as administrator.

I have deleted local content and re-downloaded. Twice.

I have tried every solution I've found on the internet and something is just not working.