You know you're in a redneck church if...

[Stag 0]

1. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish

were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch'em.

3. The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering."

Then five guys and two women stand up.

4. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck

because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

6. The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the

church directory.

8. Baptism is referred to as "branding."

9. There is a special fundraiser for a new church septic tank.

10. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

11. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

12. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too

heavy.

13. The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.

14. The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from)Billy Bob's Barbecue.

[Jester983 0]

15. The church van has a gun rack.

[Warin 0]

16) Instead of wine, communion is given with Budweiser

[ralphwiggum 6]

17. every service ends with shooting guns in the air

[Bob_Boberston 0]

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18. The church has wheels and the church van doesnt.

[cybrid 0]

19. Before the baptism, the pastor asks a few burly members of the congragation to help remove the transmission from the font.

[pathfinder 0]

20. The church has a shotgun rental biz, for weddings.