Thanks for the quick response!
I'm not sure how to answer in that I am essentially hosting and playing from the same instance of ArmA through MP->New->Lan->host=Lan from the menu system while using Hamachi to connect with co-players. We used to set up Lan but hosted by Internet (also me being host) but switched when we had these crashes, and stayed with Hamachi because we seem to have less lag when we do... I suspect that means that the answers are: Locally because I am not using dedicated server software, and I don't have an arma_server.rprt (but that sounds familiar, I may have had one in the past). I do have the arma.rprt file from the most recent crash, in fact I only have this bit because one of the fixes I saw in another post was to delete that folder that the report is in so it re-creates and somehow that's supposed to help. Obviously it didn't.
So here is the last bit of the arma.rprt for the most recent crash:
Server: Object 5:2 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:4 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:7 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:3 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:6 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:5 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Client: Remote object 2:79236 not found
Client: Remote object 2:79237 not found
Client: Remote object 2:79238 not found
Server: Object 5:10 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:12 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:15 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:11 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:14 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 5:13 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Client: Remote object 2:79240 not found
Server: Object 6:2 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 6:4 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 6:7 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 6:3 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 6:6 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 6:5 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Client: Remote object 2:79501 not found
Client: Remote object 2:79502 not found
Client: Remote object 2:79503 not found
Server: Object 7:2 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 7:4 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 7:7 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 7:3 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 7:6 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 7:5 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
Server: Object 2:79471 not found (message AskForAddImpulse)
Server: Object 2:79471 not found (message AskForApplyDoDamage)
Server: Object 2:79471 not found (message AskForAddImpulse)
Server: Object 2:79471 not found (message AskForApplyDoDamage)
Server: Object 2:79475 not found (message AskForAddImpulse)
Server: Object 2:79475 not found (message AskForApplyDoDamage)
Server: Object 2:79475 not found (message AskForAddImpulse)
Server: Object 2:79475 not found (message AskForApplyDoDamage)
Server: Object 7:21 not found (message UpdatePositionVehicle)
Server: Object 7:29 not found (message UpdateDamageVehicleAI)
Server: Object 7:30 not found (message UpdateDamageVehicleAI)
Server: Object 7:31 not found (message UpdateDamageVehicleAI)
*** Remote: Identity Larry Talbot transferred from 2:79508 to 7:37
Server: Object 7:38 not found (message UpdateDamageObject)
WARNING: Function 'name' - Benjamin is dead
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
Ref to nonnetwork object 536f0a98# 1040775: hromada_beden.p3d
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
VB Lock failed, D3DERR_NOTAVAILABLE
Virtual memory total 2047 MB (2147352576 B)
Virtual memory free 383 MB (401879040 B)
Physical memory free 826 MB (866156544 B)
Page file free 2867 MB (3007074304 B)
Process working set 409 MB (429092864 B)
Process page file used 424 MB (445628416 B)
Runtime reserved 1088 MB (1140850688 B)
Runtime committed 323 MB (338821120 B)
Longest free VM region: 75558912
ErrorMessage: CreateIndexBuffer failed (8876086a)
Object id 9cc83d5f (1375) not found in slot 263,230
w:\c\Poseidon\lib\landSave.cpp(1692) : Link cannot be resolved
Thanks again for all your help!