Perhaps cross play was desirable from a matchmaking perspective, until the switch player base is large enough to sustain itself, but it really sucks from a player experience perspective. Some xbox players can turn 180° and headshoot you in an instant. I have progressed to 30 in Season 4 and consider myself rather good at these types of games, but I am nowhere near the proficiency of the xbox players, probably for a number of reasons already mentioned by the OP.
Please let us turn this "feature" off. I don't mind waiting longer for fair matches.