Military Humor

[Devil Dogs SF 13]

Another.

"The average junior enlisted member, typically with just a high school degree, earns approximately $43,000 per year," Get it? because it's more around $18,000. I laughed.

Source

http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/07/08/unemployment.military/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

This is military humour, not anti-military propaganda. Stop with the bullshit.

[maturin 12]

I'm not sure you know what propaganda means.

[Devil Dogs SF 13]

Whatever, wrong word, either way it's anti-military bullshit.

[maturin 12]

Quit your uniform-sniffing. Everyone knows recruiters are full of shit.

And you don't even know what country he's talking about.

[Devil Dogs SF 13]

Seeing as he linked that CNN article, I'm pretty sure he's on about the US Military. Besides, all that lying recruiters BS hardly happens as much as people make out, and it's annoying when people go on about it because of their bad experience. Each of my recruiters haven't ever lied to myself or any other poolee, and all the people who came back from basic in my DEP said the same.

[solidsnake2384 10]

Quit your uniform-sniffing. Everyone knows recruiters are full of shit.

And you don't even know what country he's talking about.

Someone had a bad experience with a recruiter. Are all Vietnam vets crazy? Just because one is doesnt mean everyone else is the same

[maturin 12]

I should have said that the military's recruitment programs are frequently full of shit. Everyone who owns a TV knows that.

And one (actually two) person's experience with a recruiter is entirely valid and in no way propaganda or bullshit.

[Tonci87 163]

OK, can we go back to funny things please?

[abs 2]

Here's a funny one: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14111290

Abs

[Tonci87 163]

It seems those Spys....

*puts on sunglasses*

..were spied

YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAA

[solidsnake2384 10]

I know nutzing!

[CommanderYuri 10]

The German BND chief guaranteed that only nonworthy informations were lost. Still kinda amazing, how such a highly secured facility like that "looses" blueprints ....

[HyperU2 11]

C6b54bZepoA

[hellfire257 3]

c6b54bzepoa

lmao!!!!!

[Smurf 12]

aQsXPsdC_nU

[SWAT_BigBear 0]

lol, :D

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=4c6_1314878894

[Tonci87 163]

Backblast is a nasty bitch^^

[Cobra_Eater 10]

. For all you Veterans and Active Duty Guys out there

[maturin 12]

C6b54bZepoA

I was about to come post this.

One interesting thing about this video is all the (probably civilian) commenters up in arms about the cameraman calling our brave boys in uniform stupid. Pass round the smelling salts.

[HyperU2 11]

I was about to come post this.

One interesting thing about this video is all the (probably civilian) commenters up in arms about the cameraman calling our brave boys in uniform stupid. Pass round the smelling salts.

Yeah that part I could have done without, as a follow up the Guardsmen aren't going to be punished.

[CameronMcDonald 146]

Oh man, the paperwork!

[Darkhorse 1-6 16]

I was about to come post this.

One interesting thing about this video is all the (probably civilian) commenters up in arms about the cameraman calling our brave boys in uniform stupid. Pass round the smelling salts.

Come now, where's your sense of humor? Those guys, at the very least the drivers, are complete dumbasses. If their commander had any imagination he would send them to the Navy for a couple days, put them through a couple days of SEAL training. :D

[maturin 12]

Come now, where's your sense of humor? Those guys, at the very least the drivers, are complete dumbasses. If their commander had any imagination he would send them to the Navy for a couple days, put them through a couple days of SEAL training. :D

Oh, I agree with you. Pass round the smelling salts to revive the fainting Victorian ladies who were so horrified at the uncouth masses speaking ill of our brave boys in uniform.

[Frostburg 10]

Here's a story one of our Sergeants told our platoon while we

were all standing on line in the squad bay in School of Infantry, Infantry Training Battalion.

He was in Iraq for some time and was on a patrol in some random city that

I don't remember.

Well, his squad spotted some insurgents setting up explosives with wire type

trigger mechanism across the road.

The squad set up observation on them and decided to engage the

insurgents.

Well, as soon as the squad starts firing, some of the insurgents panic and

jump into a car and speed down the road. Well as they are driving, due to

the layout of the road, they had to turn back and head the other way.

Well needless to say, in the panic, the insurgents drive right back into

their own IED. The car explodes killing every insurgent in the vehicle.

When this happens, all the Marines stop shooting pause for a second,

look at each other, and then bust out with riotous laughter.

Just an interesting story I remember from my SOI days.

I'm sure I have many more humorous stories from my time in the Corps,

but I just can't recall them all.

---------- Post added at 03:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:28 AM ----------

Here's another story.

It is not quite as humorous, but it is still interesting.

While preparing for my second deployment with the 24th MEU,

we were located in a tiny little barbed wire fenced off base about the same ground square footage of an average American college dormitory.

Like I said, very tiny. The base was just off the beach at Lejeune

with a narrow gator infested river behind it.

We were practicing clandestine base infiltration techniques and our

platoon was given the objective to sneak onto the base at night, and then

get inside our small platoon building within the base.

Here was the situation. The platoon was broken up into fireteams

with each fireteam being issued one pair of NVGs, camoflauge, and wrist watches. No weapons, Nothing else.

We would be dropped off several miles from the beach in all different

parts of the area.

We had many Marines acting as aggressors against us. They were

each equipped with NVGs and infrared vision devices.

There would be aggressors posted, and patrolling within the base, posted outside the base, and sneaking around outside the base trying to capture Marines who would try to sneak onto the base.

We had no maps or compasses or anything, we had to use a form of dead reckoning.

The area behind the beach and base was pretty much woodland/swampland.

We all had to make it into the base within several hours.

My fireteam was dropped off by truck, like I said, many miles away from the base.

Eventually, we decided to split into twos to reduce our signature.

Me and my buddy were navigating ourselves to get closer to the base.

While moving we noticed a residential home in the distance. We talked about it and came up with an idea. We approached the home and were encouraged

to see several people, most likely family and friends all in their 40s to 50s sitting and having drinks and laughing on their back porch.

Well we approached and talked with them, and it turned out that they were

the friends and family of a retired Lt.Col celebrating someone's birthday.

Well we told them what was going on. So the Lt.Col's wife said she would help us. We both got into the Lt.Col's SUV and the Lt.Col's wife drove us

right into the base. We could get in because the vehicle had base tags.

As we were entering the gate, my buddy and myself both crouched low so we

could not be seen. All the sentries just thought it was just another officer

conducting normal business.

We hopped out of the SUV when noone was looking. We both then managed to sneak around the inside of the base and sneaked up upon and captured a sentry ourselves.

We then, after happily "eliminating" one of the sentries, we got into the

small building and congratulated ourselves on the successful use of our

ingenuity.

Most of the other Marines came in later. We were the first in.

Many Marines were using all sorts of techniques... swimming through gator infested river to avoid detection. Others constantly rewetted themselves

in order to make themselves less detectable by the thermal vision devices.

Some Marines were crawling up to the fences, and trying to get underneath them.

Others approached Humvees and other tactical vehicles that were parked along the inside of the fence and were climbing the fence using the vehicles as concealment. They used their blouses to cover the barbed wire and tried getting over that way. This sometimes resulted in a few slices, cuts, and scratches.

Not all the Marines made it in the compound. Quite a few got close, but got caught.

All the Marines who made it into the building were given the next day off from PT. All the Marines who got captured were given extra PT.

---------- Post added at 03:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:05 AM ----------

I have a several more stories, however, most of them

are not appropriate for some of the younger members of this

forum.

[Tonci87 163]

Great Storys, especially the first one