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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Assault (CAN) @ Dec. 24 2002,03:11)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">From member 'Reaper' on the Canadian Gun Nutz forum:

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"> Ok here is a relativley mild shack story: In 1987 when posted to Kapyong Barracks in Winnipeg, one of the guys in my Company was about to get married. When we came to drag him out the night before for some celebratory brews we found that he had locked himself in his room to avoid what he knew was coming. Not ones to let a minor thing like a door get in our way, we battered out the large vent in the bottom of the door and launched an assault on him, his defense with a broomstick was very aggressive so we beat a hasty retreat. The obvious solution was to light a bundle of old newspapers on fire and throw them into the hole in the door and smoke him out: No dice he was not coming out. Next phase of the operation was to grab a hold of the much abused pop machine on the floor, with 4 guys pushing it we smashed in the door and somehow the pop machine ended up out the 3rd floor window. Undaunted, we managed to get some handcuffs on the individual and drag him down stairs and out of the building. By this time a crew of guys were busy putting out the fire that had started in the room.

We dragged the victim outside and chained him to a lightstand in the parking lot where he was doused with water and shot with paintballs throughout the night as a penalty for his insolence. Come morning when all were hungover we were awoken by the Duty NCO who needless to say had some choice words for us and demanded that we released our prisoner, whom quite frankly in the booze fest of the night had been forgotten about, and there was a crowd of very pissed off family members at the main gate wondering where the Groom was, as it was an hour past when the wedding was supposed to start.

In the end he did get married and we wound up having to pay some $600.00 in barrack damages....Ah the good old days.. <span id='postcolor'>

LOL

Tyler<span id='postcolor'>

Well on this subject of peoples stag nights when we were stationed in Aldershot went on the town got absulutly blind drunk we ended up tying our subject to the regimental flag pole on the drill square the next day the s..t hit the fan as a bunch of new recruits were being introduced to the drill square with the usual "good morning corner" this sergant still tied to the pole.oooops

Another story I am not sure how true this one is as I heard it from someone else poor bloke gets married goes back to his new army home to find some comidian has bricked up his front door some wedding night for him!!!!!!

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Copied off teh WWIIOL forums

ATTENTION FRENCH SOLDIERS FOR HUMOR PURPOSES ONLY

a german assigned to night duty liked to run down hapless french soldiers with his opel.

one night as hes driving along, he comes upon his brigade chaplain walking down the road, so of course he stops and picks the chaplain up.

as they are driving down the road, the opel driver sees a french trooper walking along the road. of course, he immediatley wants to run him over, but of his concsience gets the better of him and he cannot do an unsporting thing like that with the chaplain in his truck.

thinking quickly he decides hes just going to scare the frenchman some and get really close but not hit him. so he floors it and drives right next to him. just as he passes the frenchman he hears a loud THUD.

so the chaplain turns to him and says "its lucky i opened the door, you might have missed him."

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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Frisbee @ Jan. 02 2003,15:35)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Heh,a modified version of the lawyer one smile.gif<span id='postcolor'>

i know that one with the hillbilly and the taxi driver. biggrin.gif

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When I was in the Bundeswehr I never drove over some foreign soldiers. I`d have to give them first aid anyway, because I was medic, so I spared them tounge.gif

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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Frisbee @ Jan. 02 2003,15:35)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Heh,a modified version of the lawyer one smile.gif<span id='postcolor'>

What do you call 500 dead lawers?

An excellent start. smile.gif

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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Tex [uSMC] Posted on Jan. 14 2003,11:15

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote (Frisbee @ Jan. 02 2003,15:35)

Heh,a modified version of the lawyer one

What do you call 500 dead lawers?

An excellent start. <span id='postcolor'>

LOL, I heard a hell of alot of different versions of that one. biggrin.gif

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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (loopy @ Dec. 31 2002,03:45)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Assault (CAN) @ Dec. 24 2002,03:11)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">From member 'Reaper' on the Canadian Gun Nutz forum:

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"> Ok here is a relativley mild shack story: In 1987 when posted to Kapyong Barracks in Winnipeg, one of the guys in my Company was about to get married. When we came to drag him out the night before for some celebratory brews we found that he had locked himself in his room to avoid what he knew was coming. Not ones to let a minor thing like a door get in our way, we battered out the large vent in the bottom of the door and launched an assault on him, his defense with a broomstick was very aggressive so we beat a hasty retreat. The obvious solution was to light a bundle of old newspapers on fire and throw them into the hole in the door and smoke him out: No dice he was not coming out. Next phase of the operation was to grab a hold of the much abused pop machine on the floor, with 4 guys pushing it we smashed in the door and somehow the pop machine ended up out the 3rd floor window. Undaunted, we managed to get some handcuffs on the individual and drag him down stairs and out of the building. By this time a crew of guys were busy putting out the fire that had started in the room.

We dragged the victim outside and chained him to a lightstand in the parking lot where he was doused with water and shot with paintballs throughout the night as a penalty for his insolence. Come morning when all were hungover we were awoken by the Duty NCO who needless to say had some choice words for us and demanded that we released our prisoner, whom quite frankly in the booze fest of the night had been forgotten about, and there was a crowd of very pissed off family members at the main gate wondering where the Groom was, as it was an hour past when the wedding was supposed to start.

In the end he did get married and we wound up having to pay some $600.00 in barrack damages....Ah the good old days.. <span id='postcolor'>

LOL

Tyler<span id='postcolor'>

Well on this subject of peoples stag nights when we were stationed in Aldershot went on the town got absulutly blind drunk we ended up tying our subject to the regimental flag pole on the drill square the next day the s..t hit the fan as a bunch of new recruits were being introduced to the drill square with the usual "good morning corner" this sergant still tied to the pole.oooops

Another story I am not sure how true this one is as I heard it from someone else poor bloke gets married goes back to his new army home to find some comidian has bricked up his front door some wedding night for him!!!!!!<span id='postcolor'>

These stories are copied off the Royal Artillery Assosiation website.

As are several others on here.

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At university and officer training. I can get to a computer more easily now, so I'll keep my head in.

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Fetching The Flag

Alright, Im only thirteen but my dad served 15 years in the airforce (USA), well the thing him and his squad used to do with the new members.

They would get them piss drunk, I mean all out almost passed out drunk, then they would drive to a golf course near by, tell the new recruteys to fetch the golf hole flags, they would laugh at them  stumbling by with the flags in there hand.  But one time this one drunken bastard went out to get his flag, well two hours later he still wasn't back, so they went off looking for him.  20 minutes later they found him passed out next to his pole, they had a huge laugh and went back to the base and had a good time..

Not very funny if you werent there, he told me it funnier some how tho... wink.gif

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That's exactly what I said if you read it all the way......

NO RESPECT confused.gif

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Did you guys hear the one about the SR-71?

Eh, it's over your head.

biggrin.gif

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confused.gif, is that supposed to be a joke??

It's name is Lockheed SR71 Blackbird

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no im not joking. the us pressident at the time (cant remeber who) called it the SR-71 Blackbird and noone dare correct him. its CORRECT name is RS-71 Blackbird

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Sure it did. This isn't Iraq where people get killed for making the president look bad. If anything it would of been on the internet followed by pictures of monkeys made by whichever party was opposed to him.

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