Military Humor

[Warin 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Schoeler @ April 14 2003,23:34)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Warin @ April 14 2003,23:19)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Good lord

Exactly why drunk sailors need to be segregated when in some foreign ports.  Or at least be given some admonitions about local customs!  I cant believe the one guy suggested they could bomb the town again.  How stupid!<span id='postcolor'>

Yeah, not too bright.  My Dad tells this story better.  Apparently the locals who were at first just being extremely hostile went berserk.  Even old people and little kids joined the fray.  It was a huge riot.  Luckily nobody got seriously hurt.<span id='postcolor'>

A sad combination of circumstances. I am surprised the boats skipper didnt think to make port a day later, or at a different port.

In some ways you cant fault a drunk cook for being a dumbass, but the Captain of hte ship should have had the sense to realize:

a) Where he was

and

b) What day it was

[Tex -USMC- 0]

Yeah, of all the days for shore leave lol

[Schoeler 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Tex [uSMC] @ April 14 2003,23:53)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Yeah, of all the days for shore leave lol<span id='postcolor'>

Yeah, I don't think they could have picked a worse time or place to let those sailors blow off some steam. In some ways you can't blame the sailors, they had just spent six months shooting at and getting shot at by the North Vietnamese. The comment about blowing the town up again was rather insensitive however.

[Tex -USMC- 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Schoeler @ April 14 2003,23:58)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">The comment about blowing the town up again was rather insensitive however.<span id='postcolor'>

Somehow I think he had a few tied on by that time

[cam0flage 0]

Heheh, it seems that beating sailors is a worldwide phenomenon. The Finnish Navy flagship embarks on a training 5-week training voyage through something like 10 ports in Europe every two years, and what I heard, the sailors are told every time to take with them their civilian clothes for shore leave, because if you are wearing a sailor's uniform, there's a very good chance that you get beaten up by locals.

Iiiiin the naaavyy ...

[Supah 0]

I'd like to hear the story behind this one!

[MrMilli 0]

thats an easy one, its fake

[-TU--33ker 0]

yeah i saw this one already on another site.

what do you think about this one??

[cam0flage 0]

Those boys sure look like their service is almost over Here in Finland this phenomenon is called "gona". According to legends, in ancient Rome, "gona" meant a soldier who had lost his mind in battle

[Ruskiesrule 0]

At the end of the war, in my home city of Sunderland, all the warships fired off some round in celibration, but sombody forgot to tell the magazine men to send up blankes.

Well, the shells came down in the middle of the city and killed some people.

Can you imagen surviving the blitz, and the whole war for 6 years, and then being killed like that?

[-TU--33ker 0]

that's very sad if you ask me...

have there been serious consequences for the captains of the ships?

[Oligo 1]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (cam0flage @ April 15 2003,13:44)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">The sailors are told every time to take with them their civilian clothes for shore leave, because if you are wearing a sailor's uniform, there's a very good chance that you get beaten up by locals.<span id='postcolor'>

Hell, me and my mates were once on our way to a pub in this nice coastal harbor town of ours, when we spotted a drunken sailor from some visiting warship. We decided that we didn't want any foreign soldiers on our precious soil screwing our women, so we kicked his ass just to be on the safe side.

That was a lot of fun.

[Mister Frag 0]

Violence begets violence. Don't be surprised if that sailor isn't going to be terribly polite the next time he has shore leave, and if he forever has an unfavorable opinion of you and your fellow countrymen.

[Oligo 1]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Mister Frag @ April 24 2003,02:41)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Don't be surprised if that sailor isn't going to be terribly polite the next time he has shore leave, and if he forever has an unfavorable opinion of you and your fellow countrymen.<span id='postcolor'>

First of all, I know that he wasn't polite to begin with, since soldiers on leave never are (I know, I have been one). And what some grunt on a foreign military vessel thinks of our country has no impact on the greater scale of things.

I think it is extremely rude to wear a military uniform on foreign soil, unless on a mission (like peacekeeping). Uniforms present an aura of authority, which vacationing soldiers in a foreign country definitely do not have.

[Longinius 1]

Its a part of the jobdescription for sailors. They should expect to get beat up, its SOP.

They get on shore, get drunk, mess up and get their asses kicked. Its the way it is and always have been. It happened to a friend of mine on many occasion when he was an officer in the Swedish navy. Not a very big deal really.

[Guest]

As long as they are sailors it's ok.

No, but really it's really as longinius said - a part of their job. They usually get drunk and start to brawl and then they get their asses kicked.

Of course the uniform that um.. inspired the "Village People" does not help *In the Navy!*

[ran 0]

in the French armed forces , there's one kind of sailors we don't want to mess with : it's the Marine Infantry (ok , they aren't really sailors anymore since they now depend of the ground forces command of the Armée de Terre , but they are the dign representants of their ancesters , the ship assault infantry embarked on corsair ships) and also the Navy CQB people , because if they have the advantage of the number , they can easily beat up a bunch of légionnaires , and we don't (ok , not anymore for me , but still) fight with them because we respect them since they're as often deployed in military operation around the globe as the FFL , but other than that ....... the guy of "La Royale" used to avoid our path .... i remember about the story of a legionnaire who beaten the whole crew of an Aviso during a stop in Djibouti

[Jinef 2]

Huh! Uncultured savages across the channel.

[ran 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Jinef @ April 26 2003,00:37)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Huh! Uncultured savages across the channel.<span id='postcolor'>

we ARE cultured

and don't annoy us or we'll unleash the foxes in the Channel tunnel

[Jinef 2]

Cultured...in a hairy way i suppose.

*whisper* i better not make any more jokes otherwise i might set off the yanks*

[nolips71 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (ran @ 26 April 2003,00:45)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Jinef @ April 26 2003,00:37)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Huh! Uncultured savages across the channel.<span id='postcolor'>

we ARE cultured

and don't annoy us or we'll unleash the foxes in the Channel tunnel <span id='postcolor'>

lol ran, your forgeting the maruading illegal imigrants in the channel tunnel who are trying to get to sunny england for soem reason

[Jinef 2]

I think we should flood that bloody thing, we were meant to be an Island full of isolated pompous gits, and then they ruin it by connecting us to France, of all places! Why not Sweden for god's sake or Holland even, it would make it a lot easier to get spliffs (not that i do that of course).

[nolips71 0]

got to agree....

[loopy 0]

As told to me by an old RSM

The Royal Marines and the Parachute Regiment work well together in a military role, but socially it is like having two raging bulls in the same field as a herd of cows. It's a foolish commander that lets them lose in the same city for rest and recreation without some sort of strict supervision. Small altercations are inevitable, and expected, otherwise why have aggressive units such as these in the first place. It is on a fairly large scale that you should worry, then there is nothing on earth can stop the resulting riot.

This phenomenon happened in the mid eighties and since then the military has been wise enough to ensure it didn't happen again on the same scale. There was more damage done to the military infrastructure in those two long hours than the local terrorists had done in the previous two years. Had it not been for the close proximity of the main military hospital, some military wives and children, then physically and structurally things could have been worse.

As usual it all started over some comments passed between each group, a natural occurrence in any military establishment. 'Cherry Berry Wankers' and 'Green Berry Gonads' gradually developed into 'You lot can't fucking decided whether you want to be sea sick or air sick' and 'Look here cockhead, your nose matches that tampon on your head.' Suddenly it erupted when the general banter began to irritate the regimentaly proud soldiers and marines.

The soldier's club was the usual sterile military club designed by public servants who had the mentality of Officers. The flat roof, cubical roomed mausoleum had only four redeeming features. It was situated right next to a beautiful blue ocean, it was safe from terrorist attack, you could get beer there and you could see the white female of the species in a bathing costume. This does not mean that is was a beautiful, sexually alluring sight, but for soldiers who hadn't been near a female for months on end, even mundane can be appealing. Other than that it was a place where the plebeian could be kept away from the Officers and their families, ensuring the disease of interpersonal communication wasn't catching.

It was also an ideal place for house to house and street fighting, as small groups of dedicated soldiers could hold a room against much bigger odds, the 'deadliest form of close combat.' Erupt is the only way to describe what happened, for in an instant about 200 men exploded into life as if all hit by the same electrical charge. Everyone else, including women and children headed for the beach or the main entrance. Not that the families would have deliberately been attacked, but in any war there are perimeter casualties. And any man who wasn't either para or marine was fair game for both sides. It only took minutes to clear the building of 'non-essential personnel', all of which formed a long line of onlookers at a safe distance, many of which cheered and clapped at this new form of entertainment.

The poor armed guard on the roof could only look on and prey that nobody wanted a bit of his hide, he was armed, but he was a Craphat. Soon there were small groups, medium sized groups and one large group giving it rooty-toot for all they were worth. No movie script could have co-ordinated the fight scene, it was just too magnificent to be scripted by any single human brain, and both sides appeared equally matched in all the fighting skills and enthusiasm.

It soon spread to all the rooms, the beach and the car park out front. If the enthusiasm with which each side got 'stuck-in' was a reflection of their overall military skills then 'ZULU' the film, watch out! Medical recovery was excellent and several medics (Craphats) risked all to recover those permanently out of the competition. (Awards should have been won by the medical corps on that day except you can't get them for being under fire by your own side.)

Soon reinforcement arrived in the form of Land Rovers and 3 Ton trucks brimming over with eager participants, all of whom started their own battle in the parking area, now we had war on two fronts, inside and out. How you can pick up and carry a billiard table without mechanical assistance I don't know, but that day one formed a barricade after being carried to the internal, main swing doors and set on it side. Opposition groups were trapped on both sides and had to fight from the corners and the two lavatories to survive, but survive they did, depleted somewhat but there at the end.

The main antagonists on either side of the swing doors literally threw themselves over the billiard table, attempting to form a wedge for others to follow. But each side was far to canny to let this happen, although a few did make minor inroads into the opposing side, but nothing permanent was ever achieved. Then the unthinkable happened, some outsiders tried to interfere. The Military Police arrived in force, pouring down from the hospital area in a mass charge, obviously with the intention of taking no prisoners.

This despicable confrontational act designed to stop the participation of Marine and Airborne in a show of regimental pride galvanised each unit. The MP's had deliberately let the 'boys' do a fair bit of their (MP's) job as by the time they charged there were many walking wounded and anaesthetised on both sides. If there is one thing that Airborne and Marines hate it MP's. This was a natural sorting out process for domination of the race of people known by the Latin name of 'GRUNTASOREUSSTUPIDIDIOTUM' and it hadn't been resolved. Now someone uninvited had joined it

There was only one thing to do and that was to join forces against the common enemy of all soldiers, also known by the Latin name of MILITARUSPOLICEPIGOTHAWRUSARSEWIPIDORUM.' And for the next twenty minutes or so another version of the red-cap got attacked from all sides, by the dwindling numbers of Marines and Paras. It was still flaring from small 'hot spots' when the hierarchy arrived and finally put an end to it all.

In the end the bill for damages was astronomical, paid for by both sides, and if the number of days member's of both the Paras and Marines spent in jail were added together, the new millennium could probably been brought forward by at least 5 years.

[-TU--33ker 0]

OMFG!!

this really happened?? must have been a massacre!