Military Humor

[-TU--33ker 0]

i think everybody would get the joke if it was about the french army!

[arkadeyevich 0]

It is a well known fact that the italians have lost every single battle since the height of the western roman empire.

[-TU--33ker 0]

didn't they win WW1 with the allies?

[ralphwiggum 6]

stay on topic please, this thread is about posting military stupidity stories.

[-TU--33ker 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (RalphWiggum @ Dec. 17 2002,21:25)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">stay on topic please, this thread is about posting military stupidity stories. <span id='postcolor'>

lol first time offtopic in this thread and you're here in no minute!

ok this will end now.

[DarkLight 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote ([TU]$33ker @ Dec. 17 2002,00:08)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (RalphWiggum @ Dec. 17 2002,21:25)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">stay on topic please, this thread is about posting military stupidity stories. <span id='postcolor'>

lol first time offtopic in this thread and you're here in no minute! <span id='postcolor'>

Let's give him an applaus ladies and gentlemen!

[Jinef 2]

This isn't really military stupidity just funny.

"He was in the intelligence tent when he shot himself in the foot while cleaning his gun when he was drunk" - Catch 22

I love harriers, they are a true sign of British innovation.

[Tales_From_Topographic_Oceans 0]

An example of military ingenuity, innovation and resourcefulness. It just does not gte any better than this folks. Who needs to sleep anyway?

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/scitech/DailyNews/nosleep021218.html

[-TU--33ker 0]

i remember this film where they tried out drugs on soldiers so that they didn't have to sleep. well they all went mad and killed everybody. it was a crappy movie anyway.

[DarkLight 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote ([TU]$33ker @ Dec. 18 2002,19:56)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">i remember this film where they tried out drugs on soldiers so that they didn't have to sleep. well they all went mad and killed everybody. it was a crappy movie anyway. <span id='postcolor'>

Actually that really explains the friendly fire problem...

[Bordoy 0]

Not sure if anyones got this (too many pages to read), but wasn't there an Italian tank in WW2 which couldnt withstand bullets. That's pretty stupid and unlucky.

[-TU--33ker 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Bordoy @ Dec. 20 2002,18:56)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Not sure if anyones got this (too many pages to read), but wasn't there an Italian tank in WW2 which couldnt withstand bullets. That's pretty stupid and unlucky.<span id='postcolor'>

LOL that's pretty stupid!

i think the main goal of this tank was to scare the anemy. if this tank really existed!

[Bordoy 0]

It did exist. It's in an army magazine, but it doesn't have the name of it.

[MrMilli 0]

Mussolini picked picked his tank designs using the highly sophisticated IP-DP method.

(oops, missed a I in there somewhere )

[Denwad 0]

How many gears does an Italian tank have?

One forward and six in reverse.

[DarkLight 0]

Hehehe, you should make a thread for these kind of jokes

[nolips71 0]

lol bordoy i know which you mean. it was bolted together hehe i british soldier lobed a grenade and it fell apart

[Assault (CAN) 1]

From member 'Reaper' on the Canadian Gun Nutz forum:

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"> Ok here is a relativley mild shack story: In 1987 when posted to Kapyong Barracks in Winnipeg, one of the guys in my Company was about to get married. When we came to drag him out the night before for some celebratory brews we found that he had locked himself in his room to avoid what he knew was coming. Not ones to let a minor thing like a door get in our way, we battered out the large vent in the bottom of the door and launched an assault on him, his defense with a broomstick was very aggressive so we beat a hasty retreat. The obvious solution was to light a bundle of old newspapers on fire and throw them into the hole in the door and smoke him out: No dice he was not coming out. Next phase of the operation was to grab a hold of the much abused pop machine on the floor, with 4 guys pushing it we smashed in the door and somehow the pop machine ended up out the 3rd floor window. Undaunted, we managed to get some handcuffs on the individual and drag him down stairs and out of the building. By this time a crew of guys were busy putting out the fire that had started in the room.

We dragged the victim outside and chained him to a lightstand in the parking lot where he was doused with water and shot with paintballs throughout the night as a penalty for his insolence. Come morning when all were hungover we were awoken by the Duty NCO who needless to say had some choice words for us and demanded that we released our prisoner, whom quite frankly in the booze fest of the night had been forgotten about, and there was a crowd of very pissed off family members at the main gate wondering where the Groom was, as it was an hour past when the wedding was supposed to start.

In the end he did get married and we wound up having to pay some $600.00 in barrack damages....Ah the good old days.. <span id='postcolor'>

LOL

Tyler

[Othin 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Othin @ Nov. 06 2002,21:49)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Hopefully tommorow I can (if I can find a site to store them) put up some pics of one of our Super Hornets doing a little canyon running in our local "Star Wars Canyon".<span id='postcolor'>

*direct image link deleted*

Only a month or so late, but here is one of the pics I was able to upload.  Stupid freeservers made me reduce the image size by over half.  I have more, I'll throw them up when I get the chance...

Anyways, this is my old boss doing Star Wars canyon somewhere near the base.  Picture is copywrighted to Ian "Chunx" Anderson.  Anyone who does SIMHQ has probably seen/heard him before.

</end hijack>

UPDATE: This link of the Super Hornet Canyon Running should work.  Sorry for the trouble on that  They still wouldn't allow me to upload the full res version though.

[red oct 2]

foo, i can't see your pic. all i can is this:

back to good old link

edit: ralph: the link worked...somehow...

[ralphwiggum 6]

yup. i saw it before Freesev got ot it. basically, view of cockpit and the pilot from instrumental level and you could see a bit of canyon since the jet is a bit tilted.

[-TU--33ker 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (RalphWiggum @ Dec. 24 2002,04:34)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">yup. i saw it before Freesev got ot it. basically, view of cockpit and the pilot from instrumental level and you could see a bit of canyon since the jet is a bit tilted.<span id='postcolor'>

nice discription but i'd prefer to see it myself.

[ralphwiggum 6]

well, another civilian firing range stupidity to share.

i went to a local firing range as usual, and i was done with my sweet practice. while i was talking to one of range owners, a guy comes out and asks other owner to see what could have been wrong with the .45 he was holding.

the slide was pulled back, and for some reason, the next round won't be chambered. i wasn't around close enough to see it, but soon, the range owner managed to fix it, and the fat man was jolly and went back.

here's what happened:

the idiot used a .40 S&W instead of .45 ACP.

[nolips71 0]

what happend then?

[ralphwiggum 6]

luckily nothing.

what i wrote about is pure idiocy and thought this thread was appropriate.

but thinking about, it gave me some chill.