2003 stella awards

[bonko the sane 2]

Quote[/b] ]THE 2003 STELLA AWARDS

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards.

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the teens who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2004 awards list without question.

5th place (Tie). Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th place (Tie). 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.

Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (tie). Terrence Dickson of Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owner's Insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place. Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbors Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place. Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place. This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home.

On his trip home from a football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him that in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home.

The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

God Bless the U.S. Judicial System, i wish i lived over there

[Pathy 0]

"cmon baby, thats the way to do it, money for nothin' and your chicks* for free....."

*well, legal fee's at least......

[Tex -USMC- 0]

Snopes

Quote[/b] ]Origins: This "and you wonder what's wrong with the world today?" whinge appeared on the Internet in May 2001. All of the entries in the list are fabrications -- a search for news stories about each of these cases failed to turn up anything, as did a search for each law case.

[Badgerboy 0]

For the love of god! The only thing those people should have been awarded is death.

How the hell can the courts get so fucked up? What sort of imbecile on a jury can agree to these claims?!

I thought it was getting bad in the UK, but thankfully our judges often tell the claiment to sod off, and then charge them money for wasted court time.

[hellfish6 7]

Thanks. Got me all angry for nothing.

[Winters 1]

Well, there was a case that tops all of this but at least works out in the end.

A man was at his job and was tlking to co-workers about the previous night's episode of the TV show "Seinfeld" they where laughing when a female co-worker came and asked what was so funny.

He explained to her that the episode was one in which Jerry gets a new girlfriend but can only remember that her name ryhmes with a part of the female anatomy.

When the woman asked what part the man pointed to the word in a dictionary. She then had him fired for sexual harrasment, when the man filed a lawsuit against the company the jury found in his favor and he was awarded a couple of million of which the woman who claimed sexual harrasment was liable to pay 1,000,000 of it.

The jury stated that sexual harrasment has run rampant through the US and they hope the verdict would set a precedent.

Jerrys' girlfriends name was "Delores"

[der bastler 0]

Survive foolish behaviour and sue somebody: true(!) Stella Award.

Die because of foolish behaviour: Darwin Award.

I wait for the person who wins both awards.

[denoir 0]

How the hell can the courts get so fucked up? What sort of imbecile on a jury can agree to these claims?!

Meh, I can't mention even one judicial system that I find to my liking. Here in Sweden it's the exact opposite. Here the court decides the amount of money which is generally insultingly low. To cite an example the guy who killed our foreign minister Anna Lindh has to pay something like 2,000 euros to her family. IMO that's right out insulting and they should have better skipped that part altogether.

[der bastler 0]

Speaking of Darwin Awards:

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2003-01.html

Quote[/b] ]

(11 March 2003, Spain) Early one morning, police received a call warning that three robbers had invaded the bar of a Madrid brothel. The police dispatched several units, and confirmed that the call was true. Officers surrounded the building, and used a bullhorn to coax the offenders from the premises.

The robbers, understandably frightened, found themselves in an untenable situation inside a building surrounded by dozens of policemen. Their subsequent actions may have been influenced by the ready availability of alcohol. Instead of surrendering, they decided to go out in a blaze of glory, and tried to escape while shooting at everything in sight.

The policemen ducked, covered, and proceeded to shoot back at the running robbers. Two were fatally injured, and the third was wounded in his right leg.

Why was the gunfight over so quickly? The three robbers were carrying REAL guns loaded with FAKE ammunition. They were firing blanks, making enough sound and light to fool the police into shooting back, but not enough to actually help them escape.

[Koolkid101 0]

http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html

some of those are fake.

[Major Fubar 0]

Yesterday, I cut my lips on a badly made plastic spork I got at a Chinese takeaway...the plastic was poorly pressed, so the edge of the spork was quite sharp...maybe I should sue  

[Black Knight 0]

you should, you might get a couple of million… you have nothing to lose

[Doc. Zaius 0]

No relation?

[ozanzac 0]

I don't like these awards. It's almost too frustrating to explain.

People sueing everybody. It's insane! It fosters ignorance.

I mean, cases like the theif who fell through the roof of a home and injures himself then sues the homeowner almost to the point of bankruptcy.

In those kind of cases. The innocent get persecuted by the law whilist the real criminals get away with big money via manipulation of the system designed to protect the innocent.

I don't like it one bit. I say bring back the days of a little rough justice. Dad told me a story that happened just before I was born where he caught two young men trying to steal his work ute. Instead of turning them in to the police for a slap on the wrist and a warning not to do it again, he broke their noses, and probably got what they deserved.

Their was f*** all risk of dad being charged for assault and sued for medical bills, because that's what the attitudes of the day were. If you did something wrong, you ran the risk of getting retribution (to an acceptable extent). If your stupid enough to think a winnebago will drive itself on cruise control, and you crash it. You deserve nothing, except public humiliation for being a complete idiot.

It's these idiots who have sent liability insurance through the roof, forcing alot of businesses that competent people used to be able to use and enjoy to shut down. We're starting to live in a nanny state, where you can't take risks unless you sign a waiver. And I bloody hate it.

[bonko the sane 2]

Im sure some of these cases are urban myths, but some are not, that is worrying state of affairs.

the only similar thing ive heard here in my country was when during a drug raid, a policeman shot a dealer on the kneecap 'cos he WAS shooting a pump-action shotgun at the coppers in a coke fueled frenzy and the result was that the very rich dealer successfuly sued the underpayed cop for 50000 euros...

[theavonlady 2]

Then there's the new "Crybaby Award".    

Quote[/b] ]Coaches Reprimanded for 'Crybaby Award'

Tue May 4,10:02 AM ET

PLEASANTVILLE, N.J. - The coaches of a middle school basketball team who humiliated one of their players by giving him a "crybaby award" will likely face disciplinary action from district officials.

 

The 13-year-old boy's coach called him just before last month's team banquet and told him to make sure he attended because he was getting a special trophy, the boy's father said.

At the event, the boy watched as all of his Pleasantville Middle School teammates received trophies or certificates.

He was then called up to receive his award, and a coach told the crowd that the boy was being honored because "he begged to get in the game, and all he did was whine."

The trophy had a silver figure of a baby atop a pedestal engraved with the boy's name, which was spelled incorrectly. Family members said the teen — an honor roll student — was so embarrassed that he stayed home from school on the following Monday.

Edwin Coyle, superintendent of the Atlantic County district, said he would recommend that the unidentified coaches receive some type of punishment. He planned to address the matter at Tuesday night's Board of Education meeting.

"I was very upset and dismayed that our coaches would take an opportunity to belittle or lessen the self-esteem of our athletes," Coyle said.

Punishment? Fire the coaches! What's the question!

[sanctuary 19]

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1996-07.html

If that is true (or if the counter story below the text is true) that could have been a good case for the stella wards too if that event took place in the usa

Maybe the family of this guy could have won a lot of money by having the chainsaw safety manufactor and the drink seller sued.