Funny ArmA quotes

[mrcash2009 0]

Ever ended up under a house? I have, multiple times.

Thanks to mamasan8 :) We have all done it especially on a heavy night out.

[StarworksArt 10]

awesome video!

[InqWiper 0]

Unknown person: Contacts, rear!

Me: Contacts in our rear? That cant help your eyesight, can it?

Hund: Depends on the level of enemy penetration.

Typical zeus humor :rolleyes:

There is also one in my signature, I dont think he ever realised what he said.

[volcbat 11]

During orders for an attack on Objective Sarah:

"The platoon is to insert into the rear of Sarah, using maximum violence to breach and clear any resistance. Due to heavy undergrowth and a narrow passage, Sections will take it in turns to enter"

[HKFlash 9]

Reply from Outlawled

[[evo] dan 79]

Some guy after he got shot down and both his gunners got killed by a single SABOT round and me having a go at him because of his noobish flying skills:

The Ghosthawk is an attack chopper, maybe you should go learn about helicopters, because I can fly perfectly well

[slatts 1978]

Back in Arma 1 I joined into the middle of two clans doing a TDM without anyone noticing. I grabbed a AT4 and fired at a house with a sniper in it dropping the building on the sniper and 3 others. Que the team I was on going who the fuck? Sure enough I was kicked. Your welcome UNA ;)

[mrcash2009 0]

Thanks to slatts from the ISON comet thread for this one:

I waited all year just for it to end up f**king throw itself into the Sun...thanks Obama.

Its not arma related but hey.

Edited December 5, 2013 by mrcash2009

[GReeves 10]

On the way back to base in an MH6 with Raposo flying us...

CPL D.Raposo: That was a really nice run. We did everything almost perfectl...

CPL D.Raposo is losing connection.

CPL D.Raposo has lost connection.

CPT G.Reeves: Uh, guys...

Never talk about your success until you are in your base.

[spangg 0]

"The platoon is to insert into the rear of Sarah, using maximum violence to breach and clear any resistance. Due to heavy undergrowth and a narrow passage, Sections will take it in turns to enter"

Im a bit of a latecomer on this but man, that made my day! :D

[slatts 1978]

Dug this video out, back when I had the free fraps so it skips..but I love some of the things said in this. "What is the square root....of 9.... point 2."

[marsvinet 1]

"There is no way you can run me over with that Jet..."

*Splat*

"Did he just get run over by a jet?"

Back in my days on domination servers

[ACPL Jon 68]

Reeves, You've had me laughing for like 5 minutes :)

And if I'm already here, I'm gonna give it a shot. Bear in mind - these were funnier in my native language.

First off, when the things get heated, we like our insults immature enough. And ArmA related all-right.

"Your moms ACRE won't start"

"Ur mum has that CBA Macros not found"

"Yo mommas so fat, she found the CBA Macros"

(all related to the game integration issue, when the CO set wasn't working how it should, the game would spit out "CBA Macros not found".

We've been getting that a lot after many folks bought the Steam version)

...and some others ("Ur moms ass is 300 rounds per minute, noob", "Ur mum shoots volkswagens")

There was a time we had a female player. First encounters are always messy. One of the guys: "Bro, do You even pretty?"

Secondly, sometimes when You get into Your milsim combat boots, You're pretty tired, say, after a long shift.

And Your brain as well. And You get to mess some stuff up while giving out orders.

June 1944, between the hedgerows...

Ragnar, medic: Who should I go with?

Jon, CO: You, Ragnar and medic go with Mustang.

(whole squads starting to laugh out loud, half-asleep Jon is still like "o_O uhh, what?")

Jon: First Fire Team, left side of the road, aaand...

Jon: Second Fire Team, You guys get the other side, left side of the road.

("the other left")

Stiber, ordering a Palladin fire mission: ...HD type munition...

Szajder: "All Dense Refound" (All-Round-Defense)

- Weapon stash. Engineeeeeer! Where's the Engie?! Who's Engie?

- Uhhh... Stiber. He's the... uhhh... the, ummm... the... (some question in the background) yeah, Satchel.

(one guy goes the TEEEE ENNN TEEE, IM A POWER LOOAAAD, ppl loled)

watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xe7ZISUllW8

And then... the noobs. Oh god, the "I know how to do stuff, even tho I don't" noobs. Gosh.

Guy was fighting like a lion to get the sniper slot. Of course, he knows how to do stuff, oh come on, what do You think Jon, that he's a noob?! Blah blah...

We were planning, doing initial recon and setting the assault on the factory complex for almost 30 minutes. 14 men ready to go in proffesionally deliver pain and violence. To get into action, Alpha and Bravo had to take out the lookouts (with silencers) and then breach through the wall (we needed about half a minute to get into bearching positions) All the sniper team had to do, was eliminating the visible sentries and making sure the enemy faced the snipers position, so we can stick the silencers right into their ass.

- Zulu (sniper team), You sure You ready?

- (with that annoying, bored-CoD-Kid tone) Yeh.

- ALL SET. ZULU, take care of that MG on the rooftop. Steady. Fire, Fire, Fire.

*shot*

(silence)

- Alpha, Bravo, commence the assault, I repeat, ASSAULT IS A GO. GO, GO, GO.

(while Alpha and Bravo rushes to the wall to breach it, You hear the snipers starting to shoot again)

*shot* *shot* *shot* *shot*

(silence)

- Set.

- Alpha, Bravo, blow it! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

(C4's brings the wall down, flashbangs explode, teams get in the backyard, taking cover behind buildings and trash... they get a very brutal response)

- Zulu, what the fuck? These guys were supposed to be dead!

(silence)

- ZULU, ARE YOU ALIVE? I don't hear Your damn rifle!

- Uhh... wait.

- (mad amount of gunshots, explosions and shouts in the background) WHAT?

- (totally chilled) Uh... guys... anybody remember what to do, so the bullets fly further?

I died a little inside. Needless to say, the guy haven't been seen in our sessions any longer.

Realistic Soviet war simulation from AD 2010:

Guy was assuring us he's the best pilot we can choose, even tho the mission was pretty big (30 players on the server). He was rather OK so far, so hey, why not. He gets a pretty fresh gunner, but hey, what can You screw up having an FCS'ed automatic lightsaber in a flying tank against a bunch of ragheads?

Afghanistan, eighties. A lovely valley, east of Sar-e-sang pass. Soviet convoy gets into a nasty ambush. Platoon got shot to shit, but our (players) squads manage to survive the initial wave of heat and flee under fire from DShK and few other angles in every possible taste (PKM, AK's, SVD\SMLE, RPG Frag rounds...) to the valley's "entrance". The people start to panic as it starts to seem as ragheads surrounded us, cutting out our only way of escape, and the Mi-24's are nowhere to be seen or heard. When we get "cornered" under the hill and the situation gets really messy (lack of medical eq, lack of ammo, really a fierce, epic firefight; a lot of people bundled in small amount of terrain and the fact that the survivors are still fleeing from the remnants of the convoy) we see the familiar shape above the hills. Urraaaa!

Sssshhhhhhh-BOOM! First Mi-24 is going down... Well, crap, happens, but we still have the second one. Seems it took out the launcher and the DShK.

- Eagle, report!

- Eagle, coming in.

- Eagle, listen! We lost that convoy! Too many assholes chased us, they got into that column. Burn that shit! Burn that shit to ashes! Rocket run, grid S0M3T81NG, I repeat, grid S0M3T81NG, fast, run from east to west. Empty that damn rocket pods! CAREFUL! FRIENDLIES LESS THAN 200 METERS WEST FROM THE CONVOY! I REPEAT, DANGER CLOSE, 200 METERS WEST YOU HAVE FRIENDLY UNITS. Eagle, do You understand?

- Yes.

- Eagle, make sure You don't hit the friendlies. We don't have the smoke shells to... Eagle?

At this point I look up to the chopper from the woumded I was taking care of, during the radio chat.

And I see this beatiful russian beast, unleashing its rage. It's pure power. On my fucking men...!

- EAGLE, WHAT THE HELL?! Eagle, You were supposed to (voices of panic in the background, I get distracted)... Calm down, those who can move, just RUN!

(First portion of unguided missles stop, followed by few bursts, one of those hit close to me. And to the radio, once again...)

- Eagle, You're shooting OUR OWN FUCKING GU... (I "see the flash", body flies away and I become a beatiful butterfly)

And if You don't find it funny, wait, it's not the end. Pretty much the punchline, that last minute told by the gunner, after the game:

- You know, I was busy trying to find what was shooting at you. Somehow the zoom wasn't working... I found the dots at the end of the valley, thought you were behind that slope... Konrad set us on course, he said I should shoot. I heard You said something on the radio, So I asked Konrad - "What did he say?"

- I don't know, just shoot those again.

Ladies and Gentleman - The Pilot. Applause!

There were also some of those "blonde" moments which just happen. (we had few new guys with us, mkay?)

Night op went south. 3 Fire Teams get streched out inside the forest, so we don't sit on each other during necessary ARD (All-Round-Defense), to heal up and reefill. Needles to say, enemy follows us. Lots and lots of enemy. Flares. Dogs. Mi-17. And nowhere to run. They went on us all-MW like, and damn, some of them even had silencers! So it's gets more and more panical, as people just go "silent" (a.k.a. SpetsNatz'ed) without warning and the enemy randomly pops out in between the teams. People start losing orientation, TLs mow down the happy trigger guys, to make sure no FF happen.

In such circumstances, people were very happy when they were able to confirm they see the actual enemy, usually followed by few bursts. And so...

(lemme remind You, we're fighting inside THE FOREST)

- ENEMY!

- Where?!

- Behind the tree!

...

And the last one, our pro pilot team, in beatiful MH-47E by Konyo, night over Sangin, fully-Ranger-loaded cargo.

Complete silence, until You hear perfectly chilled...

Psycho, Crew Chief: Kamex, when we run out of ammo, punch them with that stick in the front of the chopper.

Kamex, pilot: Yeah. Like goddamn Hussars...

Edited February 16, 2014 by JonPL

[onlyrazor 11]

Psycho, Crew Chief: Kamex, when we run out of ammo, punch them with that stick in the front of the chopper.

Kamex, pilot: Yeah. Like goddamn Hussars...

That entire post was a good one, but everyone knows that the Uhlans were the guys that used lances. These mil-sim types don't know their cav.

[ACPL Jon 68]

Cmon bro.

And AFAIR Polish Uhlans used mostly sabres.

But I'm glad You enjoyed the post :)

Edited February 16, 2014 by JonPL

[algrab 1]

Ha hah. We, the "bloody forigners".

[onlyrazor 11]

But I'm glad You enjoyed the post :)

I had the Polish Hussars in mind when I typed up the reply, but since they're a historical oddity since most hussars were lanceless light cav, I decided not to acknowledge them.

[GReeves 10]

"Your moms ACRE won't start"

"Ur mum has that CBA Macros not found"

"Yo mommas so fat, she found the CBA Macros"

Lol!!

[MarkusxX 10]

I need German Quotes :D

[Tonci87 163]

Person A after the enemy has been spotted by person B : "Where is the enemy?"

Person B: "Where I am aiming at."

Edited March 5, 2014 by Tonci87

[nettrucker 142]

This comes fresh from the ArmA 3 section. One of the gazillion AI discussions.

The A.I. needs a

-

"pull your head out off your ass, i told you the fukken formation and where to go and if you don't do whut i've said i'll shoot you like your worthless friends"

-

button, and then i mostly shoot them...

:681:

In reply

.......a beautiful touch of poetry never hurts!

May be a little bit vulgar but full of meaning!....LOL!

This one comes from the same topic

I do shoot my men for insubordination all the time. Especially AT guys.

In reply

I don't have to shoot my AI, they die fast enough from enemy bullets. Stupid suckers =)

Disappointed after 13 years of ArmA. You shouldn't be . . . BI is fixing the game

>>>Fixed: CTD when a rabbit opens a vehicle’s inventory<<<

Yeah...sure...Im in deep love and have full trust in BI's capability to make A3 a bug free game with an awesome AI. I mean...even the rabbits are so f**ing smart that they can open a vehicles Inventory and build an ICBM in the cargo bay of the vehicle

Guys you made my day.

cheers

Edited March 14, 2014 by nettrucker
added quotes

[scottmillerukctrg 12]

"Be at your best behaviour at the checkpoint, sargeant. Greenbacks are really waving off their dicks arround today. Do you copy that, soldier?"

RIP Adams

[ACPL Jon 68]

Public Domi in A3, few patches ago, famous "main rotor goes f#@k itself" glitch in a fully loaded Littlebird.

Somebody from the cargo bench: "Original choppers do not fade"

Edited March 31, 2014 by JonPL

[nettrucker 142]

This was posted in the ArmA 3 user mission thread

Dynamic Whole Map ArmA3 Missions by SaOk

Well I had my first instance of losing a save. When I got on last night the progress had been lost.

What is the best way to save.

Jesus, my son. Jesus saves sinners like you. Ask Jesus.

I like that. LOL :D

[ACPL Jon 68]

RHS thread

- Could you guys also make this mod as a replacement for CSAT?

- CSAT? please don't name the aliens!!!

- They took our furniture as a preemptive strike. CSAT is their invasion force.