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Funkman

Appropriate Military jargon

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Hello,

I am making a little movie, and I am not so good with knowing the correct military terms to use, so I wanted to run this little script by someone if they could be so kind.:

Opens on three soldiers round a campfire (out on patrol):

Sergeant 1: Has anyone seen Private Williams?

Private 2: He said he went to pee, but,...that was an hour ago.

Sergeant 1: God dammit, I dont believe it, he's finally done it!

Sergeant 1 (on radio to homebase): Papa Bear, this is (delta platoon, company?) we have a situation on our hands here....

Cuts to black.

Later cuts to Colonel talking to his aid:

"Godammit, that little maggot. No one deserts my army. We will find that little scumbag and make an example of him. I want no effort spared to bring him back dead or alive!"

Hence begins the story.

Totally open to criticisms and changes of title etc.

Many thanks.

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Well, if it's meant to be realistic, and with the sounds of it, it's U.S Soldiers, then saying you will execute him is a bit un-realistic.

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Okay, but that is the overly melodramaitc part that shows how crazy this colonel is and sets up the audience to sympathise with the lone soldier. That part is allowed to be a bit innacurate.

What about what a good callsign for the patrol is. Would there even be a patrol of four men, or do they operate in larger groups?

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Not enough explicit words used, try adding variants of "F**K" every other word or so!! haha

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Yeah and if you are recording your voice for the dialogue.. make sure that its really slow, monotonous and obviously read from a script!

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This is how I would do it - But still stereotype'ish,

Sergeant 1: Has anyone seen Private Williams?

Private 2: Sorry Sir. He went to take a dump, but,...that was like an hour ago.

Sergeant 1: God dammit, that little prick has finally done it!

Sergeant 1 (on radio to homebase): Papa Bear, this is November One we have a situation on our hands ....

"Godammit, that little maggot. He's freaking slippery as snot on a doorknop. NO ONE goes AWAL on me. We will find that little scumbag and make an example of him, use whatever means necessary"

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Thank you speeder, a serious answer finally.

Mumur, I know voice acting is not my strong point, so I will be getting others to do it for this.

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This sounds interesting, but seriously, more curse words. Try playing company of heroes, the profanity there is truly an example of what everyone should strive for :rolleyes:

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Lol. ok more profanity, got it. Its just like what's that arma 2 machinima series? Sons of Valour every second word is F*** I think those guys have military experience and know how it works.

Thanks for the comment.

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Profanity that I can do :)

Has anyone seen Private Williams?

Yes Sir. He said was going to take a p*ss but... that must have been over an hour ago.

For f**k's sake, I can't believe it. He's finally done it!

Papa Bear, this is Alpha One, we have a situation here, over...

Goddammit, that little f**ker. No one goes AWOL on my watch! No one, do you understand?! I want you to find that son of a b**ch and bring him back to me. I don't give a s**t if you have to drag him screaming, you can f**ing shoot for all I care. I just want his sorry a*s back here, right now!

Edited by Deadfast

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well being in the us army now, i think i can help a bit :)

profanity is a MUST for realism. every1 here curses like a f*ckin sailor, ironically of course cuz we're all soldiers. (see?)

and as far as callsigns go, the army/marines/af have converted to more "Hollywood" callsigns as we call them. example my callsign is Animal 14G

Animal being the Company, 14 being the FIST and G being the gunner, seeing as your character is a Col. hed be something at a Brigade level 6, like, Spartan 6 or Iron Horse 6 (dont use those though cuz theyre real people lol)

hope that helps, just think of a cool warrior-ish sounding word and tag a 6 on there and youre good.

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THanks ts swords, that experience is a great help. Ive already recorded most of the script and I went with Papa Bear for home base and November 1 for the sergeant, not totally realistic but I think I can get away with it.

----

EDIT: Ill post a link here when my little movie is done and you can tell me what you think, though I doubt it is going to be very realistic, but hopefully entertaining.

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well it is a game, so entertaining is key, and it is arma, so realism is key as well...

also, bases according to units use suffixes like "main", "mike", or "x-ray"

another example my COB out here in iraq, when you call them on the radio its "Animal X-Ray".

"Long Knife Mike", "iron horse main", "mustang x-ray"

soo theres another tip for yah. glad i could help

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Lol, dammit now I have already got people to do the voices as "papa bear", they did a really good job so I dont want to ask them to re-do it. Ah well...

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well just as a military movie goes irl, its ultimately the director's (i.e. you) call, im just advising :D

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First, don't use a campfire out in the open, only on a base and in the daytime. Making a campfire attracts a lot of attention and at night with NVGs you can see them from miles away. In the day you can see the smoke from miles away.

Maybe dont let the platoon commander ask for a privite but just the name, the ranks go out of the window as soon as you set foot in the AO. use a nickname or something.

[ Sergeant 1: Has anyone seen Private Williams? ]-->[ Sgt1: Where is Williams?!]

for the rest everything has been said.

Hope it will work out! Good luck.

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Thx pre-Vet,unfortunately I have already recorded the dialogue for it.

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Mumur, I know voice acting is not my strong point, so I will be getting others to do it for this.

It was a jibe at the BIS voice acting not you :D

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