My life sux

[Ex-RoNiN 0]

1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...

> I'd have had

> nothing to play with.

>

> 2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on

> over; nobody's

> home." I went over. Nobody was home.

>

> 3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to

> me. Just the

> other night she called me from a hotel.

>

> 4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy

> jogging naked.>

> I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"

> He said

> "Because you came home early."

>

> 5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ...

> put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my

briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the

bathroom.

>

> 6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the

> sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

>

> 7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were

> a toaster and radio.

>

> 8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast

> fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

>

> 9. I'm so ugly...My father carries around a picture of

> the kid who came with his wallet.

>

> 10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting

> room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything

we could, but he pulled through."

>

> 11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning

sickness...AFTER I was born.

>

> 12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they

> sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted

more proof.

>

> 13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked

> him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you

think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid.

There's so many places they can

> hide."

>

> 14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next

> Tuesday.

> 15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people

> kept asking how big I'd get.

>

> 16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning

> when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like

throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know

but your eyesight is perfect."

>

> 17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle

> of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks

and get some rest.

>

> 18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How

> can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a

cliff.

>

> 19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every

> room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm.

Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those

times I was reading it.

>

> 20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for

> birth control.

>

> 21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his

> lap; he was in the electric chair.

[Major Fubar 0]

Ah, Rodney Dangerfield...comedic god

[Damage Inc 0]

Who's this Rodney and why?

[red oct 2]

rodney dangerfield= amusing american comedian that stared in a few movies, but does  mostly stand up comedy

[Damage Inc 0]

At least someone tries to bring comedy instead of shooting people.

Never mind, I still think you are all great persons.

[Die Alive 0]

"I go see my doctor and tell him that there's something wrong with me, I'm not turned on by my wife anymore. He tells me to bring her in and he'll examine the situation. The next day, I bring my wife to the doctor's office, and he tells her to take off all her clothes and lay down on the examining table. She does, and the doctor walks around the table a few times, stops, pauses, and says, "Your fine, she doesn't turn me on either."

-=Die Alive=-

[nordin dk 0]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Damage Inc @ April 29 2002,22:49)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">At least someone tries to bring comedy instead of shooting people.

Never mind, I still think you are all great persons.<span id='postcolor'>

You have become so cynical Damage. Don't worry, we'll get the smile back on ya'

[ralphwiggum 6]

don't worry ex-Ronin....placebo might love you inside...